I will never know it all. I continue to learn and seek enjoyment in doing so. I learn from the world, I learn from my family, I learn from my friends, I learn from my patients and I learn from my enemies. One thing I have learnt, perhaps undeniably, is that life is really too short and that in our daily struggles to pull through, each moment counts. In my overzealous attitude towards some life situations, I may come across as too passionate, perhaps overbearing or simply naive. I may seem to overlook the cruelty of some life events that leave one breathless, knocked out and feeling broken. For this, I owe an apology because in all sincerity one’s pain can never be underestimated or overlooked. Many suffer in silence and for these there needs to be a voice; such suffering needs to be fully experienced to be understood.

In life’s heaviness, I try to look for those strands of hope to carry my loved ones and me through each day safely. Nothing beats a good dose of laughter. Social psychologist Dan Gilbert writes, “...humour is the place where intelligence and joy meet, humour is where a brilliant mind tickles itself”.  I write these thoughts following a much-anticipated restful couple of days in the rolling hills of Tuscany that Joe and I shared with two of our dear friends. Good friends, to share with and collect memories of gluttonous laughter are priceless. As we pursued what I shall call our food, wine and laughing trail, I realized that in our daily shallow human transactions and overbearingly heavy responsible life styles, we tend to miss out on what really matters in life. Sharing laughter is perhaps one of life’s most valuable human transactions. Such is the importance of laughter that in Greek mythology, Gelos, the god or spirit of laughter, is said to “... never allow you to grieve in mind but will impart joy on your countenance with his sunny elegance (Apuleius, ca 2AD)”. 

Laughter brings out the child in us. Laughter is contagious. The physiological effects of laughter are seen as helping us to think better and to bestow on us a general feel good factor. As I write these thoughts I am overcome by the urge to share with you one such personal laughing memory! I happen to be married to perhaps one of the funniest people around. Joe and I have been together for 30 years.  We have shared much together and laughter was never missing.  People who know Joe really well know that he is the clumsy sort. I always know that he is around the house because I hear something break or a scream. He is reputed to burn his hand on the oven or a piping hot coffee pot. He is also able to skilfully and forcefully perform free kicks with his bare toes right into the kitchen chairs! I never really know whether I should laugh or cry.

One of our most memorable teenage moments dates back to some 29 years ago.  Joe and I are both hopeless romantics. We both love food and always make it a point to celebrate important milestones with some culinary discovery. To celebrate one such important milestone, we picked a quaint but popular restaurant, which at the time enjoyed the music of resident clarinet guru Freddie Mizzi.  Silver-service trained men in crisp white shirts were eager to pamper us, and minutes after being settled in a cosy corner of the restaurant, our starter appeared. Our most highly recommended starter dish was an exquisite fish soup. As we began to slurp away at the piping hot soup, the enchanting melodies of Mr Mizzi began to fill the air.

Soon enough this brilliant musician was hovering over our table. In the excitement of the moment, Joe inadvertently performed one of his skilled body manoeuvres that jolted the table. In the blink of an eye, out jumped happily, the clams, muscles, octopus and tomato from his soup onto the table, tie, shirt, shoes and floor. A brilliant performer, Mr Mizzi was unfazed by all the commotion caused and continued to blow away ecstatically at his clarinet. I swear I could feel the ground beneath me shake as the prying eyes of our fellow diners gobbled my teenage self up.  We certainly were a good source of entertainment to all. Much of what happened next has been spontaneously flushed out of my memory, leaving me with those remnants flashes of Joe and me laughing hilariously away at our innocent foolishness. It was truly a fascinating experience, one to use as an opportunity to study, think and learn.

Well, for one I was to learn that I could never take Joe to a fancy restaurant and expect him to leave with a spotless tie! A lesson I hold dear to this very day.  In most life circumstances, we contain many of our emotions, and keep those psychological defences high especially when running a country or even run a family. The child in us deserves some attention too and as a student of human nature, I understand that chasing the laughter is as essential as the air we breathe. We constantly discover and create new memories to put into the luggage of life. It is these laughing memories that we need to safeguard for ourselves and the world around us. It is these memories that will come to our rescue when we need to refuel consumed emotional energy.

So let us try to make sure that laughter is a constant ingredient in our life; it will carry us through those dreaded moments. Perhaps piling up those “laughing” memories and writing them down to revisit in times of need; surrounding ourselves with people who can transmit positive energy; enjoying that comedy with a loved one and being able to laugh at ourselves while taking each failing as an opportunity to learn are a few simple tricks to a successful “happiness” recipe.  Above all, let us wake up each morning, look at the mirror and wear a warm smile to carry proudly throughout our day. Each smile can be an opportunity to create laughter. The positive energy it will generate will be our prized reward. This might truly be the last thing we’ll ever do and the final memory we leave behind! Our most simple contribution to a better world!! I wish us all many bright, light and laughter-filled years.

Dr Cassar is a clinical psychologist by profession