Mario Balotelli is one of the current football stars. He has great strength, excellent skills and an unmistakable talent. He may “sleep” for the greater part of a match but then wins the game for his team with one touch. Often he is irritating with his ball possession and dribbling attempts, but then his supporters adore him when one move ends up with the ball in the net.

But his character often lets him down. He allows his temper to get the better of him, both on and off the field, and he is often in the news not because of a wonderful goal but because of his erratic behaviour. He lets himself be dragged into the mire of controversy and gives the media a great deal to talk and write about, often for the wrong reasons.

Last Sunday was one of those days for him. At the end of the Milan-Napoli match, he had one nasty moment with the referee and was subsequently suspended for three games. Balotelli was justified in feeling badgered and upset, and perhaps when he approached the referee to air his complaints the referee should not have sniggered at him, but he was wrong to threaten the official the way he did.

The club he plays for, Milan, did not appeal against the judgment because it wanted Balotelli to understand that it will not tolerate such behaviour, which damages the club’s image. Milan will be deprived of their most famous striker for the important encounter with Juventus – for the fourth season in a row, but that’s another story – but the message the club has sent out in the circumstances is a strong one indeed, because it believes that the incident should serve Balotelli as yet another lesson, and hopes that it will be the last.

I doubt it, because characters are not easily changed. People may work hard on themselves to try to alter their personality, but often they end up making the same mistake again – perhaps in a different way, but a mistake nonetheless.

I do not want to justify Mario Balotelli’s behaviour. But I think I can understand him.

Let me widen the argument.

Balotelli has the spotlights on him all the time. His opponents know how volatile he is, how short-tempered and how easily provoked. And they play on this. They kick him each time he has the ball. They pass mean remarks when the referee is not around to listen. The opponents’ supporters taunt him, sometimes racially abuse him too. He is unprotected by the officials, who are quick to give him a yellow card (which is sometimes followed by a red) at his first misdemeanour, while the defenders marking him get away with all the fouls they commit unpunished. Referees seeking the headlines are often the ones who provoke him. This irks him even more, and he falls into the trap of flying off the handle.

This is where we come into the picture, because I think that there is a Mario Balotelli in each and every one of us. Sometimes we manage to control ourselves, and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we manage to resist the temptation, sometimes we fall for the provocation.

Let’s be honest. Who has not, at some point or other, felt the urge to punch someone in the face? Who has not felt the pressure piling up for one reason or another? Who has not felt the stress of an accumulation of incidents that go against one’s expectations or wishes? Who has not felt unappreciated, ignored and misunderstood in spite of the sacrifices made? Who has not been at the wrong end of a conspiracy against him or her?

It is hard to control emotions when an injustice is being committed. It is difficult not to react when there is unfairness. And, when we do manage to control emotions and not react after repeated grievances, it could then take just one small straw to break the proverbial camel’s back.

More often than not, we lose the argument because of the attitude taken, not because we are in the wrong. It is the way we argue that is wrong, not the situation in itself. We may be the best at what we are doing, but that is all lost when we come across as being belligerent, out of control and hot-blooded.

When we were young we all learnt that honesty is the best policy. But perhaps speaking one’s mind is not as ideal as it is made out to be, especially when blood is boiling inside. It is better to count to 10, perhaps even a little bit more, as this will lead to finding a better way of saying what we need to say. Eyes bulging out, an accusatory tone and a loud voice will not help. And not being completely honest and avoiding saying things that we later regret would also be the better way forward. Sometimes, even when the apologies due are made, the scars remain; so it is better not to say those things in the first place.

To go back to Mario Balotelli, like many of us in many of the situations we encounter each and every day, he is often right to feel persecuted, not guarded by those who are supposedly there to ensure fair decisions and needled by others in such a way as to bring out the worst in him.

But by responding to a given state of affairs in a negative manner he loses all justification.

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