Dearest Helen,
My pen and heart never felt so heavy as today!
I struggle to write these reflections but you have given so much goodness to so many of us that I cannot let you go without expressing these words.
Helen, you have been a true fireball of energy. Many call you a colleague, a mentor, an inspiration, a motivator and a groundbreaker. I call you a dear friend! So dear friend, please allow me to share these thoughts with the rest, such that your memory can live on. I will surely not do justice to your sunny disposition, your kind nature, your poise and elegance, but I will try to express what you mean to Joe, Fabrizia, Rebecca and me.
We have known each other for a while now, not because of your groundbreaking work with our patients or because of your important cancer support groups, but because of our psychiatrist husbands. Since both your Peter and my Joe worked together, inevitably our paths crossed. Indeed, we travelled, dined and laughed together. We have also shed tears together. Our journeys continued because of your love for our country and our people. I always felt safe in your presence knowing that no matter what I said or did you would still be understanding, tolerant and kind.
Tolerance: what a noble word, Helen. Indeed, this is one of the traits I have always admired in you. You were always able to see the positive qualities in people and never judged. Even when life became tough and unbearable you still listened, tolerated and looked for the bright side of every situation. What courage, Helen! Courage was your shield; you had heaps of courage and fearlessly stood for what you believed was right. You gave a voice to the weak, the sick, the vulnerable, the insecure, the minorities and the emarginated. I bet you would have loved to participate in today’s national issues. You know the Bill regulating civil unions is being discussed in Parliament at the moment. Of course, this is a very emotional topic for many but it boils down to acceptance. Accepting diversity and respecting the dignity of each fellow human being was your hallmark. I always admired your ability to look beyond the horizons of our perceived realities.
You were a politician in your own right. Yes, perhaps you did not occupy a seat in our parliament but you advocated for the voiceless and us all. Your depth of character and search for true meaning in life was remarkable. You know, Helen, sometimes I sit back and just try to soak up those heated parliamentary debates. Well, I am finally at peace with Joe’s political persona and try to be part of his life. Public life, as you know, is never easy, but Joe is a great and loving companion and together with Fabrizia and Rebecca we have learnt to appreciate the joys and sufferings of dedicating our energies for the common good. We keep learning. I know that you respected Joe greatly and he admired you. You did strive to make Malta a better place for us, for when the time of our vulnerability hits home. So when I do follow those political debates and hear some of our politicians insulting, belittling and intimidating each other, it hurts. It hurts, not because any of us believe these declarations but because it denigrates our mission. This is not what we are supposed to be about as advocates of our people, so I imagine that it would hurt you too! There is more to us as humans and soldiers of truth, justice, courage and hope. You are our example dear Helen! Your life was one constant gift to us, it was about the people, and all those you cared for and those you shall continue to care for through your legacy.
When we were celebrating your life and saying our goodbyes last Tuesday, we hugged Peter. He is a brave man your Peter, you must be so proud of him and your handsome boys. You did well Helen! I know you worried for Peter and your boys. All you thought about was them. When you found out that the cancer had come back, hope was always there. You never gave up and fought hard for Peter and the boys. Peter reminded me how much we laughed together. My memories flashed back to our trip to Japan with the psychiatrists. Yes, we did chase the laughter there. That was some adventure with the Buddhist temples, climbing Mount Fuji, our quest for that special walking stick for Peter’s collection and the Buddha statue, which I believe, now sits peacefully in your enchanting garden in Gozo. That statue was so heavy to carry yet you supported Peter all the way! This was your most remarkable quality, your love for the people around you. You mothered us all lovingly.
Helen, you live on through your love. Many down here will make sure that your mission will continue. So let us make a deal. Have a few laughs on us and if you can pass on a good word for us so that we may be better people in our minds and hearts; so that we may continue to learn and be soldiers of justice, kindness and truth; so that we may find meaning and reach our final destination safely and so that we shall meet again and have a few more good laughs together; that would be truly great!
Au revoir dear Helen.
See you soon.
Dr Cassar is a clinical psychologist