I had forgotten about the launch as I failed to put it into my diary. But someone reminded me at the last minute. So I changed quickly nto a black dress – what else – and off I hurried to the launch of the Spring-Summer collection of Catrice. Pharma MT also import Essence which is for the younger generation, Catrice is for the older woman. The launch was held at Portomaso Level 22. Upon emerging from the lift I felt as if I was in Hernando’s Hideaway – dark and mysterious. Editors, journalists, fashion bloggers were present and already enjoying drinks and canapés and catching up with each other’s life. Samples of Catrice makeup were placed on the coffee tables and we could try any of the new makeup in a large display cabinet. The representative of Cosnova GmbH (they manufacture the Essence and Catrice brands) came to Malta especially for the launch.

These brands are realistically priced so one can do some experimenting without distablising one’s bank account.

 Get ready for the next season: bright colours, shimmering metallics and soft pastels to match the look on the catwalks which were dominated by flowing silhouettes, light fabrics and exotic patterns.

 Dennis Bornemann, gave us an interesting power point presentation of the company and the new collection. Lashes as well as eyebrows are kept thick and natural this season. Eyepencils and fashionable Cat Eyes are the must-haves of the season. Then there’s the Made to Stay Smoothing Lip Polish. There’s so many new products which are sold at reasonable prices. I might even change my brown eyeshadow which I have worn for years into something more springlike. We’ll see.

Makeup has always been part of a woman’s arsenal. No matter what the Gender pundits may say and how much research is done on the subject I won’t go out without putting on my brown eyeshadow. Then there’s a touch of eye liner and a tad of lipstick. This is a ritual I have adopted even if I am only going to the grocer’s or to have a cup of tea with one of my sisters who lives in the same block of flats.

 If I’m out whether it is lunch with my siblings and their offspring or dinner with someone less noisy, I try not to let my lipstick die. I replenish it at the end of the meal. This is not because I have some kind of sense of inferiority without it or because my  self-esteem descends to the floor if I don’t. It is simply vanity and a sense of aesthetics. Yes, I am vain and call me superficial if you must, but I don’t particularly have much time for men and women who aren’t. Why do they inflict their drab selves on society? Stay home if you must look like that. My pet hate are men with ‘concertina trousers’ which are obiquitous even on television. Look at other channels. How often do you see presenters on foreign channels with trousers which are too long? Don’t these men have wives or mistresses who tell them how awful they look? Can’t they get them fixed?  How careless.

Although vain I don’t have a terror of aging . There’s no avoiding it and I am certainly not going to resort to botox or any of those ‘hope in a bottle’ quick fixes to try to look younger. Others may do so if they wish. I simply want to be myself but in technicolour, not monochrome.

And a touch of perfume is also a must. Light for the mornings and something more potent for the evenings. I do make mistakes and I have, on occasion, been rebuked by my darlings: ‘Madonna, you smell like a joss stick Ma. What the devil are you wearing?’ That’s what samples from the perfumer are for. Try it out before you buy it.

I am not the sort to have the talons of Grace Borg – they suit her personality but not mine. or to wear false eyelashes.  But nor am I going to allow myself to go all the way downhill until I arrive at my grave and turn into compost. If I am not going to be cremated I want to be a decent corpse for those worms to nibble at.

Nor do I think I am less liberated or neurotic just because I won’t, if possible, go out without a bit of makeup. They are frivolous issues but then aren’t we allowed to be frivolous from time to time? What’s wrong with that?  I’m all for some slap, a moderate amount, and I do it for myself and for no one else.

The diet industry, the cosmetics and cosmetic surgery industries are powerful and making millions every year. It is true that they appeal to the unconscious anxieties of many women and men, too. . But it is up to us whether to use them or not. It’s a free world. If it makes you feel better then go ahead and have a boob job, just make sure the plastic is the right sort. My sense of self is too strong to allow me to resort to the operating theatre for something trivial. Others are braver.

Perhaps my attachment to some makeup comes from my unconscious. My father would not allow us to paint our nails and a light pink lipstick was only just about accepted by him. He treated makeup, especially lipstick and nail polish, as if it were an undefused bomb ready to explode in our faces.  My mother said nothing and left these decisions to him. She only wore Pond’s cold cream and a little loose powder. He didn’t say it but we knew that that is what he thought: only women of the night wore red lipstick and plucked their eyebrows and those sluts in Hollywood of course who wore silk nighties and slept with lots of men.. 

The nuns were adamant: Our Lady did not wear makeup and she was our role model. Mater Admirabilis. Her painting, a young woman of great beauty with arum lilies at her feet, was in all the convents including the one at Trinitá dei Monti, at the top of the Spanish stairs in Rome. Those of us who went  to Rome on holiday paid those nuns, and Mater Admirabilis a visit. It was a kind of piligrimage. So we were expected to be admirable too.

But it wasn’t just Our Lady who wore no makeup. Queen Victoria tended to look like five doughnuts on top of each other and absolutely monochrome except for her fabulous jewellery. Prince Albert didn’t seem to mind.

And look what’s happened now: hair extensions, plastic boobs, nose jobs, ‘false’ nails. A woman can spend hours at the beautician and hairdresser not forgetting the cosmetic surgeon.

According to Jessica Mitford in her bestseller The American Way of Death, in America corpses are embalmed, their faces stuffed with bits of paper to emulate plumpness then made-up so that they look as if they are asleep. Death is good business in the States, for some.

Naomi Wolf wrote a best seller which she called The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are used against women. She herself is very good looking unless all her photos are photoshopped. Would she have written the same book had she not been so attractive?

We don’t have to get caught in all this. We are free to choose. As in everything else common sense should prevail. But if I am not cremated please bury me with my lipstick and eyeliner. And a bottle of one of my favourite perfumes to keep me company. I’ll write out my short list and leave it with my girls.