I am not referring to human excrement, but human remains (and please excuse my unsavoury references). We read with utter disgust in the last days of a plan or project to solve the cemeteries’ problem in ways other than just expanding them or developing new ones, because we cannot go on forever finding more space. Obviously, after a time graves are cleaned out – hopefully, but not always, with dignity – to make more space. Graves come at a pretty hefty premium you know, and not all can afford them. Cremation as an alternative I have finally come round to after years of deliberation (being the conservative I am), but the ashes must be buried – taking up much less space, of course – and not put on a mantelpiece by some perverse relative. Further, the whole corpse is cremated.

But when I heard of dissolving corpses in chemicals it made my stomach turn two or three times and still does. A chemical solution will just dissolve the flesh, leaving some sort of dark gooey liquid, while the skeleton remains to be crushed and the crushed bones given to the family of the deceased, if they so desire. Pity they can’t feed them to the dogs, because there is no flesh. But then they might join the ashes of others on the mantelpiece. Some bright American scientist of sorts has stated that this system has worked with animals and, what’s more, the gooey stuff is thrown into the common drainage to join faeces and other sorts of disgusting waste. He says the stuff will kill bacteria. Although I am a great animal lover – and I would bury my dog or cats and not just throw them into a skip – I do distinguish myself from them. As Auxiliary Bishop Mgr. Charles Scicluna rightly said, the Christian body (and any other non-Christian body for that matter) should be given the dignity it deserves and not just be thrown into the drainage system.

This is disgusting. It is shocking. How could a serious Government even let this out into the media, let alone place it as an option. Parliamentary Secretary Michael Falzon should have refused to reveal this policy, or at least the gooey option, just as our President Emeritus refused to sign the gay marriage Bill. Well, perhaps this is the next step in Joseph Muscat’s shock-mongering programme. At least we were told the abortion was not on the cards “at the moment”, but do we believe anything anymore? And where is the P.N. on this, for goodness sake. And for MEPA to issue a policy document! It should never have got through. If this is the dignity the Labour Party is prepared to afford to a corpse, then what about respect for live human beings?

I couldn’t but comment on the above, because it truly disgusted me. But the same word “disgust” may be used for a development closer to date, although farcical and shameful might be more adept terms. We now have a “two cent” Prime Minister or Government. Fascinating, if it weren’t degrading and pitiful. Hordes of journalists rushed to the Auberge de Castille courtyard last week to hear the great news that the PM had been teasing us with for days. We had the usual podium bedecked with Maltese and EU flags (if you don’t mind); a podium usually used for major press conferences by the Prime Minister and other heads of government on important official visits. Eddie Fenech Adami used it to an announce a general election after the EU referendum. Of course, PM Muscat was accompanied by no other than his personal magician Dr. Conrad Mizzi, who has waived his magic wand to reduce utility rates by 25%. That’s great. But then to announce a two cent decrease in the price of petrol was an insult to us Maltese people. My petrol gauge hasn’t even noticed. We were expecting great things from that press conference. Of course, the savvy salesman thought he was being clever, but he shot himself in the foot just as the spring hunting season was coming to a close. I had always thought that Alfred Sant was the expert at shooting himself in the foot.

And I believe that the PM is running out of ideas. He has come out with a lot within the last year; which does not necessarily  mean a good lot all the way. His performance at Cospicua, echoing Mintoff’s  rallying  call to Labour’s “suldati ta’ l-azzar” (soldiers of steel) showed up a sense of weakness or at least hesitance in implementing what he had promised to all and sundry – literally selling his soul. The soldiers of steel that we remember are those that terrorised the country in the seventies and eighties (and they included the police brigade), and certainly not the switchers. They were the people who beat us at Tal-Barrani, at Rabat and at so many other political activities. They were the people who ransacked and desecrated the Archbishop’s Curia (opposite Police GHQ, if you don’t mind) and ransacked the Law Courts. They were the people who burnt down the Times of Malta offices and pillaged Eddie Fenech Adami’s house. And so much more. Are these the soldiers of steel that Joseph Muscat is reincarnating?