This week marked White Ribbon Day - a campaign aimed to end violence against women. The twist to it is that the campaign is organised and endorsed by men who will not stand for violence against women.

Violence, whether committed against men or women, is never acceptable. In our society, there are far too many women who suffer aggression in silence. But we cannot sit with the stereotype idea of what domestic violence is.

Domestic violence often conjures up the image of a drunk male partner beating his wife or girlfriend. But it transcends that. Often, it is those who appear friendly, or meek, who turn out to be the worst perpetrators.

Abuse is not only physical either. Abuse can be psychological as well. And this is where we need to look at the issue holistically. While a focused campaign against violence on women is needed, we also need to look into other factors. Interestingly, studies have shown that the highest propensity for violence occurs in lesbian relationships and the same cannot be said for male homosexual relationships.

Studies have also shown that when it comes to psychological abuse there is no difference between men and women and that the propensity to commit such acts is in equal measure between the two sexes.

We must also remember that it is not only women who suffer abuse at the hands of men. Males are also subject to abuse, but the stigma attached to it is even higher than when a woman is abused. If men suffer from physical or psychological abuse, they are far more likely to suffer in silence, fearing the reaction of society more than the continued abuse.

Malta has seen a vast improvement in our attitude towards victims of domestic abuse, particularly in the law courts which now always evict the accused party from the matrimonial home. But now, given that we have gay marriage, that needs to be extended to cover perpetrators of violence in same sex relationships.

We also need to lend more weight to the argument of those who suffer from psychological abuse. It can take many forms, but the most usual one is putting a person down and making them feel that they are useless or not fit to do things. Others may play the jealousy card, accusing their partners of straying. Others may threaten harm... the list goes on and on.

But to end on the same note as we started, violence against women is never acceptable, no matter what perceived slight they may have caused their partners.  Many women in such seemingly hopeless positions do not know that help, in the form of Agenzija Appogg and its 179 helpline, is out there and that all they have to do is pick up the phone and ask for it.

Those women who are suffering need to give themselves a voice. And the best thing that women in such circumstances can do for themselves would be to make that call, to ask for the help they so direly need to break free from their life of fear.

179 is more than a helpline, it is a lifeline: use it or convince someone who needs to use it to do so.