Laura called Simon when he was least expecting it. "We have a girl," he heard his wife say, overjoyed, as tears of delight streamed down their faces. This was their much awaited and very special baby girl.

The day had started out as planned. Simon went to work. Laura was to spend the day by the pool at a friend's house and was looking forward to it. Before she left home, she thought she'd check her emails, and there it was - a message saying "you have been matched". It was from an adoption agency called Beyond Borders, with a photograph of the child they had long awaited.

I met the Grimas at their home and I can say that, yes, they really have been well matched. Little Kyra had found her perfect parents. She was only three months old when Laura first held the gorgeous little baby with dark almond eyes guaranteed to melt hearts. Today she is a two year-old, active and alert, showing me a pink tent with a multitude of balls with different shades of pink in it. I'm thankful she didn't invite me in, as I doubt we would both have fitted in comfortably.

A minute later, she's off again, hugging her mummy, and asking for milk. Simon, the doting daddy, takes her hand and together they walk into the kitchen. They return with the milk which Kyra places on the coffee table while she settles herself comfortably in front of her TV programme. Laura, the equally proud mummy, tells me how she enjoys singing along with TV programmes, and especially loves to shout out the names of colours, recite numbers from one to ten, and make animal noises.

She is to start playschool later on this year at a nursery close by. A few hours a day will enable her to enjoy the company of other toddlers. The Grimas' first plan was for them both to work full time, while the doting grandparents looked after baby Kyra. A month was all that it lasted. What made them change their minds was simple - more time with Kyra.

Simon, who is present courtesy of his extremely understanding bosses, explains how different life was before they were parents. He and Laura had been together for several years, and had thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. They had no one to answer to, and being a DINKY couple (Double Income No Kids Yet) they travelled whenever the fancy took them. They dined out on a whim, and did everything - including, Simon grins, Giochi Senza Frontiere. His wife cringes but they both tell me it was great fun. Still, they felt something was missing.

When Kyra arrived, life changes were immediate. Laura worked full time for a month before realising that she didn't want to miss Kyra's first attempt at crawling, her first tooth, her first word, and spoke to her employers about working reduced hours, which she now does. Simon also sometimes works from home as he feels exactly the same way as his wife does. Now Kyra enjoys the love, care and affection of her grandparents during the weekdays in the mornings.

This happy little family unit all began over a coffee with a friend, one of the two wonderful women who set up Beyond Borders to assist couples wishing to adopt little treasures like Kyra, all the way from Cambodia, Russia and other places. After the usual process of courses, psychological assessment, and home visits, the Grimas' home was as safe and as open as their hearts. But what happens to all new parents happened to them too. They dozed only fitfully on their flights to Cambodia but, despite their tiredness and the time of night, they went straight to the children's home as the Cambodian representative advised them to do.

Like all new parents they were presented with their much awaited bundle of joy, and like all new parents looked at her in wonderment and thought "Now what?"  They returned to the hotel and placed her in the middle of the bed, awed. This was their daughter and being dutiful parents, they changed her nappy. Exhausted but exhilarated, they knew their wait was over. She was their little baby girl.

Both had known that they wanted a baby and to experience everything in their child's upbringing - yes, even the sleepless nights. Had they asked for a boy or a girl? Could they have chosen? They figured that had they had their daughter biologically, they would not have opted to know the child's sex beforehand. In Laura's words, "We wanted to leave it up to God."  Well, he certainly came up trumps.

Not all things are the same when you have adopted babies as opposed to biological ones. It was suggested that baby sleeps with them as much as possible to help them bond, and that » when family and friends descend in droves - as they tend to do here - the mother is to hold the baby, and not allow visitors to pass the baby around. Personally, I think it's a great idea.  Friends and family should ask what it is they can do for you not the other way round. And that's my take on all visitors.

I see how happy they are all together and ask if they will they adopt another child. They say they don't think so. They tell me how their lives are filled with their little girl, how everything revolves around her and her routine. When people say Kyra's so lucky, their reply is a genuine "it is we who are lucky to have her."

Laura and Simon Grima both encourage adoption because they want everyone to experience the love, joy and happiness they have with Kyra. That just about sums the Grimas. They want everyone to feel the happiness that overflows into a smattering of kisses on their little daughter's silky black hair. That's the picture I see as I wave goodbye - a loving family. That is something biology alone doesn't guarantee.›‹

 

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