Most young boys used to be brought up on the mantra that no matter what happens, no real man ever hits a woman. It was sound advice that mothers, fathers and grandparents drummed into young boys when they are still in their formative years and might have hit their sister in a tantrum or an argument.

Fast forward to this generation and we have learned more. Abuse does not only mean physical abuse. It can mean controlling behaviour, financial threats, verbal threats and emotional abuse. The list goes on and on.

Men are trying to move with the times and what was borderline acceptable, even just a decade ago, no longer has any place in our society. Most men agree. We have already condemned the issue in parliament where Joe Debono Grech rounded on independent MP Marlene Farrugia and told her that he would “come for her and beat her up (nigi ghalik u nifqak) when she resigned from the Labour Party. The PN demanded a ruling from the House, after Speaker Anglu Farrugia returned to the chair following MP Luciano Busuttil’s smirking session when the actual event took place.

The speaker ruled that both Mr Debono Grech and Dr Farrugia should retract their remarks. In the end, both retracted their remarks, but Mr Debono Grech apologised to the speaker and not to Dr Farrugia.

Social Dialogue and Civil Liberties Minister Helena Dalli went on the stir the pot further last week, saying: “What I said was that verbal violence must be taken in context, and that women who insult men should expect a verbal reaction, and not claim that the insult was due to her gender. We shouldn’t play the victim card if we don’t act civilly amongst each other.”Dr Dalli said this claiming that  Marlene Farrugia had called Joe Debono Grech a “simpleton” and “corrupt”, a claim that Dr Farrugia vehemently denies.

Yesterday, the minister dug an even deeper hole for herself during an event to raise awareness about domestic violence, saying: “Comparing Debono Grech’s threat against Dr Farrugia in Parliament to domestic violence and domestic abuse was a “disservice” to the number of genuine victims.”

So, let us get this straight. If a woman turns round to a man and challenges him about something, or claims he has done something wrong, in the eyes of this minister, the man is allowed to threaten to beat the woman up?

Is the minister actually saying that if a couple have an argument, and a person’s wife, friend, sister, mother or acquaintance pulls them up on something, the man has a right to threaten to hit “find them and beat them up?” This behaviour is astonishing and Minister Dalli’s comments are so off the mark that she now even has a piece of graffiti dedicated to the whole debacle.

Marlene Farrugia has since called for Helena Dalli’s resignation. Many back her cause. The Minister has had two attempts to right her wrongs but on each occasion, has chosen to defend Mr Debono Grech. But then again, with a government that believes it did not need to rebuke Debono Grech, or sack Parliamentary Michael Falzon, or sack former acting police commissioner Raymond Zammit, it seems that they can do as they like with impunity. It is only when a gun is pulled and shots fired in anger that someone is asked to resign.