So, I am about to make a ground-breaking suggestion so might want to sit down and brace yourself. If you are against gay marriage, be it on religious or “moral” grounds, I would strongly advise against marrying someone of the same sex, and instead, I suggest just getting on with your life as you have always done because guess what? This does not affect you.

In terms of the long-awaited Marriage Equality Bill, several whining old dinosaurs have come crawling out of their caves over the last few weeks, to complain about “morals” and “consciences”. The interesting thing is that these individuals seem to be over 50, heterosexual married men, which makes me ask “what in the name of Twistees does this have to do with you?”

Earlier this week, when asked why he was voting against the Marriage Equality Bill, a certain Mr Edwin Vassallo provided the press with a few choice sound bites that I am going to briefly touch on here.

1. “What are we left with when we put our conscience aside?” Well Mr Vassallo, being a politician is not just about what you want; it is what your constituents want, and what the people of Malta want. I hate to break it to you, but there is a high probability that a percentage of your voters are homosexual and by voting against their best interests, you are doing your electorate an injustice. To answer your question directly, we would be left with a country that values the love and respect between two individuals, regardless of their colour, faith, gender, or sex. Oh the humanity, what a disaster, and a one-way ticket to Satan’s fiery lair for 400,000 people please.

2. “Even though I might be in the minority on this, one should respect even those in the smallest of minorities.” Wait… what? So let’s say the whole of Malta is for gay marriage and only you against it are you saying that it should not be made law just because you disagree? Or perhaps Mr Vassallo, by using your same logic, the wish of a minority (for arguments sake let us just say those with a brain cell, an ounce of compassion, and the entire LGBTIQ community) should trump what you and the religious zealots think?

3. He was also reported to have said that he would vote against the Bill because it could pave the way for a “culture of death” and the tampering with pro-life laws. Jesus wept. I do not know where to start with this. Firstly, a “culture of death” sounds like a great name for a metal band and a rather tenuous use of language for what gay marriage might lead to. Secondly, what on earth do two people of the same sex getting married have to do with abortion or euthanasia? The answer is absolutely nothing. This argument is nothing more than a not-so-subtle attempt to link two unrelated issues in order to gain more popularity and momentum.

Let me just make a few other points while I am here. People have been hooking up with people of the same sex since the dawn of time, far predating any texts such as the Bible, Koran, or Torah. It happens the world over, has always been a part of our society, and reportedly even Catholic priests in New Zealand are at it! From Socrates and Plato, the Romans, and Ancient Greeks (you know, the founders of our current civilisation), to writers, kings and queens (excuse the pun), politicians, and artists, these people are not second-class citizens and have the right to marry who they choose. I cannot believe that in 2017 I have to spell out to people that marriage is a legal contract and, as such, every participant in a society should have equal access to it after satisfying the necessary legal requirements.

“Oh but a woman and a woman cannot procreate so they don’t need to get married”. Would you use that same argument for someone who is infertile or doesn’t want children? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and say that you have only ever had sexual intercourse with your spouse for the purposes of procreation? No, I didn’t think so, so kindly take that ridiculous argument and shelve it along with the rest of them.

Thankfully, times are changing, religion is losing its power over the masses and generations that oppose such progress will cease to exist, making way for younger, freer thinkers. This Bill will pass, gay marriage will become legal, and we will continue to learn that holding a personal belief does not give us the right to impose it on someone else’s way of life.

All this big kerfuffle boils down to the fact that certain people are scared of the future and of being left behind by others that actually have the vision to create a truly great society. I can hear my critics cracking their knuckles and flexing their fingers ready to damn me to hell for all eternity but, to be honest, I would rather go to hell for believing in equality than go to a heaven that discriminates against someone based on who they love.