I hear it every day – “oh the internet is such a blessing, what would we do without it?” and in many respects, it is very true. The internet unfortunately, is also a bacchanalian breeding ground for degenerate perverts and Disqus commentators. I could wax lyrical about the latter and probably will at some point as it gives me great amusement, but this week I shall choose to focus on the former.

Being a woman who frequents social media, someone who writes what she thinks in a local newspaper, and someone who doesn’t really care what people think about her, I am sure you know that I get my fair share of abuse, threats, and hilariously inappropriate comments. My friends have similar tales to tell as well – rape threats, threats of violence, stalking – it is all part and parcel of being a woman in an online world. But there is one thing that sticks out in my mind for its utter absurdity (note, not severity) and that is what we call “the unsolicited dick pic”.

Now for those of you who don’t know what I am talking about and have not been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of such a visual treat, let me explain. There seems to be some common belief among a certain section of the male population that the way to a woman’s heart is by sending her a picture of their nether regions. I can only imagine that once, several years ago, a woman made a sarcastic joke along the lines of “nothing arouses me more than a stranger sending me a picture of him in a state of undress” and some poor, unfortunate soul took it literally. From there, word seems to have spread and such men seem utterly perplexed when we don’t collapse and start swooning at their feet and instead rebuff their virtual advances with witty retorts, a few choice swearwords, and a click of the “block” button.

Please allow me for a moment to say something on behalf of all womankind; it is not often that I would be comfortable speaking for all women, but on this topic, I can be fairly sure no one wants to receive an unsolicited, artfully (or not) taken photograph of you naked. This does not work, it has never worked, and it is never going to work as a successful chat up line. Unless you want to be ridiculed, pitied, and spend the rest of your life living in your mother’s basement, I would suggest you tuck it back into your shorts and learn how to strike up an intelligent conversation.

But let us be serious for a moment; yes, it’s almost humorous when put like this, but I think it is an extremely worrying sign of our times. It is not acceptable to walk down the street and flash at someone so why would you do it on the internet? It concerns me greatly that these individuals think that they have the right to violate, and yes, I will use that word, someone in such a way that you would force them to look at an indecent image without their consent. As far as I am concerned this is a form of sexual harassment and one that we should be starting to take a little more seriously.

I read a very sad article recently about a young woman living in Malta, who has been driven off social media due to receiving obscene amounts of such images on a daily basis. A passionate blogger and Instagram user, it got to the point where the only way to escape the barrage of unrequested penis-pics was by deactivating her account. Of course, many of the responses to this article suggested that it was in fact her fault for putting pictures of herself online in the first place, which is an utterly ridiculous notion akin to victim blaming. What a sad state of affairs it is when a young woman is stopped from pursuing her passion because a certain number of over amorous men cannot control theirs.

A good friend of mine was unfortunate to receive such a solicitation this week. Her response was to try to make light of the situation by politely telling him to leave her alone which just resulted in a further flurry of pathetic and pornographic images accompanied by the lamest attempt at sexting I have ever seen.

My message to the women that receive these pictures is to not even engage these degenerates in conversation. Report them to Facebook and block them immediately, as striking up any kind of conversation, even if it is to politely tell them to stop, will just encourage them. My message to those men that think it is Ok to send such images, to make obscene suggestions, and to sexually harass women online is – what would your mother say? Would she be proud that her son is so emotionally and psychologically removed from real life that he thinks it is Ok to bombard strangers with such material? I doubt it.

On a similar note this week, an article in another local paper highlighted a scam that has been affecting many local men. The scam involves an attractive woman messaging them on Facebook to strike up a conversation before enticing them to whip their kit off on a video messaging platform. The “woman” then records the encounter and informs her victim that she will send the clip to all his Facebook friends list unless he transfers a large sum of money. While my sympathy for these men who are caught in flagrante delicto is limited (many of them have long suffering wives and girlfriends who have to put up with the humiliation of knowing that their partner has the breaking strain of a KitKat), I can’t help but think that the following rule should always apply.

Unless you are in a relationship with someone you can trust completely and the other party has explicitly requested such materials to be sent to them, I would suggest it is perhaps better to err on the side of caution and restrain yourself. Sending pictures willy-nilly (excuse the pun) as part of a numbers game in the desperate hope that a woman will pay you some of the attention you crave, is wrong. Instead, perhaps your energy would be better spent getting outside in the daylight, working on your social skills, or learning how to treat a woman properly, and not as an object.