Why is life worth living? Why do we want to cling to this ‘vale of tears’ at all costs? Because tears can be shed because of sorrow and they can also be shed because of hilarity (and sometimes it is not easy to guess the real reason).

Let me start with something hilarious. Then we can move on to something more sorrowful.

Ships

I read in The Times of London that the Scottish Maritime Museum will no longer refer to ships as ‘she’ or ‘her’, but as ‘it’, and this in order to introduce a ‘gender neutral interpretation’. The Director – aptly called David Mann (Adam Mann would have been even more apt) – said that the museum, in Irvine, North Ayrshire, had been forced to carry out this innovation by vandals! Already twice this year, vandals have scratched out the words ‘she’ and ‘her’ on a very expensive sign explaining the history of one of the museum’s vessels.

So, instead of calling in the Police to look at CCTV cameras (with which one presumes the museum to be equipped), this Scottish institution is giving in to linguistic bullying and has decided to stop referring to ships as ‘she’.

The people commenting below the article aired the same views as I usually express: the whole world has gone bonkers... it’s the Age of Madness. First there was the Age of Reason, and now the Age of Madness. It is probably true that those whom the gods would destroy they first make mad. Who knows?

Now the question for us Maltese is this: shall we slavishly follow suit? Shall we stop referring to ships as ‘she’ and start using ‘it’ instead, when writing in English? Shall we try to transplant the madness into the Maltese language, and if yes, how exactly?

Konrad Mizzi has pre-birth memories?

Apparently – as someone with the eyes of Lynceus noted – Konrad Mizzi, born in 1977, remembers Air Malta’s first days, in 1974. Is this a case of pre-birth memory?

Despite this incredible psychic phenomenon, Dr Mizzi could not remember salient details about the constitution of his secret company in Panama, which took place many years after his physical birth, though only a few days after his birth as a Minister.

The mind boggles.

Worse still, under Minister Mizzi’s guidance, it seems that Air Malta is bound to embark on another loss-making year.

There is something phenomenally wrong. The number of passengers using Malta’s International Airport keeps increasing, but Air Malta is set yet again to incur losses. One would have expected Dr Mizzi to find a definitive cure to our national airline’s financial woes. You never know, perhaps a secret company in Panama, concealed behind a secret trust in New Zealand, could save Air Malta.

War Zone?

These days one reads the news and it seems like Malta has become some sort of war zone.  A structure collapses in Swieqi; another one in Gwardamanġa. The authorities, understandably, claim that they are not to blame as they are not endowed with the gift of ubiquity: they can’t be everywhere at the same time. This is true but, on the other hand, citizens cannot live in constant fear and apprehension, waiting for the building site nearby to suddenly become the scene of some tragedy. Why is there this anxiety? Why are contractors employing people who clearly have no understanding of masonry and no regard either for their own safety or that of others?

The fact that the entire island seems to have turned into one big building site necessarily means that accidents are bound to happen. But what are the authorities doing to ensure that all those involved in the building industry take the necessary precautions to avoid accidents? The citizenry needs to know, in order to allay fears and quell anxiety. Already, the rapid and widespread re-shaping of the urban environment is becoming a number-one cause of anxiety. Why should fear of losing one’s life or possessions contribute to this feeling of anxiety?

Gozo link

The House of Representatives has voted unanimously in favour of a permanent link joining Malta and Gozo. It seems clear that, since the House of Representatives is guided by reason, the vote has to be understood as a declaration of intent – subject to studies and whatever it takes to ensure that the project is not only viable but also safe. Considering that walls fall down in small construction projects, we don’t want any tunnel built to connect the two islands suddenly to collapse and cause a massacre of humongous proportions. We want a Gozo link, not a stairway to Heaven or highway to Hell.

Female representation

All told, I think it’s not a bad idea to incentivise women to participate in top decision-making processes in the country. The ideal situation would be if women were to be elected under their own steam, not because of positive discrimination. Frankly speaking, if I were a woman I would be offended to be given a post or a job just because I happened to be a woman. It sort of denies that women are inherently equal to men, because it seems to imply that women are equal to men only if the law says so. I sincerely hope the day will dawn when any person – whatever their gender – can achieve something in politics not because of quotas or discrimination but because the system and the dominant culture weigh what that person has to offer.

I am not sure that positive discrimination will make that day dawn any sooner. Incentivising women through education is one thing. “Imposing” women through positive discrimination is something else altogether – it might reek of a concealed sense of inferiority. Let there be a level playing field between men and women; let women believe in themselves; let them compete fairly and may the best wo/man win. That way the winner will have also gained the respect of the onlookers, which is the most important trophy of them all.

My Personal Library (47)

Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels (original name: Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships) is probably mostly regarded as a book for children. Needless to say, it is not. It is a masterpiece of satire to be read by all ages, and understood differently – depending on the age of the reader.

Gulliver did not visit only Lilliput, the land of the giants, and the country of the talking horses (the Yahoos). He also visited other fantastic places, including a flying island (called Laputa) and island of Luggnagg where some of the people live forever. (After you read about Luggnagg you can finally answer Queen's question, “Who wants to live forever?” – Nobody.)

It could sound like the script of a fantasy movie, mostly because such movies seem to have appropriated Swift’s brilliant ideas.

But Swift plays an astute intellectual game. He relates fantastic tales in order to criticise human nature, foibles and serious weaknesses alike. His most acute criticism is directed towards his fellow men (and women): they make “no other use of reason, than to improve and multiply... vices”.

Swift remains a classic and one of the most important writers of Western Civilisation to this day.