The day most of us long dreaded has come to pass. The United Kingdom's departure from the European Union means that its closest political and practical ties to Malta have been severed. We Maltese, despite our long shared history with the British, are being shut out of the United Kingdom. While many of us feel personally let down by this move, their decision is all the more shocking when we consider how it endangers the integrity of the United Kingdom itself. I look back on our shared history and contextualise why we Maltese feel this division with unique sadness.

Throughout the Brexit debate within the United Kingdom, I was always surprised and disappointed at how the voices of the Scottish people seemed to barely be taken into consideration. After the divisive 2014 independence referendum in Scotland, one would imagine that the English placed more value on keeping the United Kingdom together than on Brexit. Yet it would seem that the English would rather leave the European Union at any cost than preserve their own Union of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Apart from Scotland, we can see trouble brewing in Northern Ireland. After a devastating civil war between Catholics and Protestants known as the Troubles, the Good Friday Agreement helped to bring a sense of normalcy back to Ireland as a whole. However, now it seems there are plans for the border to be drawn between Northern Ireland and Britain, essentially splitting the United Kingdom internally. Will we see a push for Irish reunification?

Why should any of this matter to the Maltese? Our relationship with the United Kingdom is complicated. There are different interpretations of Maltese and Gozitan history and identity. These different definitions have always been convenient tools for politicians to use. Propaganda presents different narratives depending on what is convenient at the time. Mintoff, for example, first campaigned for Integration, which would have made us a full part of the United Kingdom with MPs in Westminster. When he changed his mind, the British suddenly became the enemy. Our identity and interpretation of our relationship with the British seemed to flip overnight.

So where does the truth lie? How should we feel about our relationship with the United Kingdom at any given time? What can we learn from this about identity in general? There are no right or wrong answers, as it is a personal, organic and fluid process and no two people will feel the same way. Our identity continues to evolve in any case, regardless of how politicians and academics try to pin down narratives and definitions.

Before the Second World War, to be proud to be Maltese did not imply that one had to be anti-British. The Nationalist Party thought that to be a patriotic Maltese, one should speak Italian and seek to unite Malta and Italy into one country. It was the Catholic but English speaking Lord Gerald Strickland who campaigned for Maltese to replace Italian as the national language of Malta. Lord Strickland always put the interests of Malta above any other consideration, and the British saw him as a potential liability because of it. When Mintoff campaigned for Integration, Mabel Strickland opposed it for fear of the Maltese losing their identity! The truth is never black on white.

Any country that wins its independence must, however, build a national myth, and presenting the colonising power as the source of all problems is a convenient narrative. Dutch anthropologist Jeremy Boissevain observed and wrote how the United Kingdom was used as a scapegoat for many ills of our own making in Malta. For example, the factionalism and tribalism in Maltese social and political life was blamed on the British practicing "divide and conquer". However, Boissevain refuted that claim in the Maltese context.

There is no doubt that the British legacy in Malta has left a lot of painful colonial baggage. My personal grievance is the linguistic divide in the country - that any segment of the population should look down on another is unacceptable - and yet Maltese look down on one another on all sides because of the colonial legacy. Having said that, even before there was a divide between English and Maltese, there was a split between Italian speakers and Maltese.

Despite the cruelty and injustices of colonialism, there was scope for personal relationships to be built between the Maltese and the British. Aside from intermarriage, there were countless friendships formed over one and a half centuries of connection. Emigration and migration changed the Maltese cultural paradigm. The perception of one another also evolved over the years, especially as institutional racism in the Empire began to decline as the paradigm shifted.

It is in all of this context that I frame my sadness at the departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union. While relations will continue, it is truly the end of an era where we could easily live, study and work in one another's countries. There is no freedom to be found in this separation, only the dull ache of us having lost something personal. At a time when people need to cpme together across the world to resolve pressing injustices and climate change, we seem to be focusing on what divides us rather than what we have in common. I wish the British all the best, but I do so with a very heavy heart.