Someone once wrote that, to move on in life, we should take the good along with the bad on our journey. We should try to smile even when we are sad. That same author, who remains unknown, also contends that we should love what we’ve got but never forget what we’ve had.

How, indeed, can we forget what we had before Covid-19 came to us like a bolt out of the blue?  We now reminisce about the past year, when families and friends got together without the fear of infecting each other with as little as a handshake. When our children went to school without covering much of their little faces to keep each other and their teachers safe.

How, indeed, can we smile and not feel sad as we mourn the victims struck down by this deadly virus that looms ominously over our country, where its leaders have seemingly failed to safeguard public health, and who somehow feel justified in repeating the mantra that the spread of Covid-19 has been brought under control? Where its Prime Minister adds insult to injury by having the gall to feign relief that not thousands are dying as predicted at the beginning of the outbreak. He expects us to be thankful for small mercies.

Who, indeed, will console their families left behind to reap the whirlwind of the government’s inaction? For there are no words that can truly comfort those who are grieving the loss of their loved ones, let alone during a pandemic when it is strictly prohibited to accompany dying relatives on their final journey. They are left to die alone without as little as a farewell. Fate is sometimes cruel.

Those who are left behind will be faced with the heart-wrenching task of going through the personal belongings of their dearest departed in the hope of obtaining some sense of closure. There will be clothes to sort, and the distinct, lingering scent that, for a moment, adds to the illusion that they are still standing nearby.

There will be documents and letters, piles of them and leafing through them would feel like an invasion of their privacy. Numerous photographs, stacks of them, recollections of happier times, bringing more tears to the blinking eyes of the broken-hearted left behind. Not to mention a lifetime’s collection of all sorts of things that would have meant so much to the one that died.

Not everybody copes well with grief. I for one thought that I was prepared for such a dreadful moment when it happened. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. It broke my heart into a million pieces to have to let my beautiful mother go first and then, many, but many years later, my beloved father.  And as I wallowed in the misery of each moment, I couldn’t see myself picking up those pieces knowing that one and then two of them will be missing forever.

On those first days and nights, I was overcome by my grief. But it was more difficult to handle the permanence of loss that set in later as thoughts of what might have been and cannot now be ran through my mind. An eerie silence descended over my parents’ house and it was hard to accept that I would never again hear a cheerful welcome whenever I walked through the front door.

The drawn curtains blocked out the sunlight that would have fallen in from the windows into the living room, where the television set was no longer tuned in to the usual channel at high volume levels. In a short time, a home echoing with love and laughter was transformed into a house of quiet emptiness. It was a stark reminder of the absolute finality of death.

But by that painful experience, my heart had acquired a protective shield, defiantly resisting any emotional blows that followed.  But time is a great healer and I slowly learnt how to live with such a heart-breaking loss, gradually blocking out the sadness and clinging to the happy memories instead. Eventually, at the mere mention of their names, my heart would automatically go into pain-free mode and warm up to the memories of the precious moments we had shared.

When the harsh reality sinks in and we finally accept that we will never see each other again, it will be those precious memories that will eventually dry our tears and help us to move on in serenity.  In the meantime, we may need to go through a period of adjustment when we will learn to smile again even though we are feeling sad. For life goes on, regardless of our loss. We just have to remember to take the good with the bad along the way.