These last weeks we witnessed horrendous news that spread like wildfire. Once again two (ex) priests, this time from Gozo, are being accused that they had abused an altar boy, and all of this started when he was still a child. News that shocked us to the core.
How could someone be so venomous?
What goes on in someone’s mind to come to do such atrocious acts, repeatedly and systematically?
How come family members of the victim were not aware of what was happening when the alleged abuse was going on for such a long period of time?
How come school did not read through the child’s behavior?
How come other informal educators and social operators, well-intentioned religious and priests, adults involved in the Church, members of the community, did not notice any of the inappropriate and strange behavior of these priests and if they did notice, what actions did they take?
Here we are not talking about a simple mistake, but an alleged tangible evil.
I just hope the community and authorities didn’t turn a blind eye because that would make them equally shamefaced. Some have tried to justify by saying that this situation happened when there weren’t systems in place as we have to day. Bollocks. There might not have been the formality, but people cared for their children and this type of wrongdoing was wrong even at the time and should have been signaled. The fact that the Catholic Church used to conceal such vile was reprehensible and disgraceful.
Sadly, these are questions we will probably never have an answer to.
When we hurt the smallest amongst us we would have really hit rock bottom. But whilst abuse is the worst of all, children are also suffering on so many other levels.
Children in residential care
Are we being quick enough to get children out of care and settled in host families or are we resting too much on our social services who accommodate them in children’s’ homes? Should we have better social services that expediate the process of adoption so that children, who have been abandoned for whatever reason (I am not here to judge), will be helped and returned to the love of a family? The stability that can be found in a family is nowhere near close to what they get in a children’s residence. Are our Court services and judiciary appointed to oversee the wellbeing of children effective and efficient enough? Please don’t ask me to answer that question.
Children of inmates in prison
And what about children whose parents are inmates at the prison? How are we dealing with that? Should children be seeing their parents in a waiting room filled with strangers where they cannot cuddle, hug and play? Is it true that we are impeding inmates from seeing their children when the authorities feel that the respective prisoner merits a punishment of sorts? Where is the humanity and children’s rights we all shout about?
Waiting lists and children
And what about children who are being denied support services because we do not have enough professionals and they are left on waiting lists because their parents might not be interested or don’t have the means to go privately to practitioners? Are we aware of the impact this will leave on the rest of their lives when we do not intervene on time?
Children and unions
Are we aware that unions with their knee jerk directives are affecting the wellbeing of children? Are they cognizant of their actions? Did you know that we have a particular counselling service that was halted for months on end because of a hiccup in some collective agreement? Now if this is not shameful behaviour from unions and the respective Ministry, I don’t know what is.
Children and the environment
Just saying. The space where children play is being cut down, our tress are disappearing and tarmac is wiping out the foliage and space. And then we wonder why children spend their time on their smart phones! We know well enough that it has become virtually impossible (pun intended) to give some good quality air and adventure during their free time. The best we can do in the midst of all of this is to point towards children and smirk as they try to find solace in their gadgets.
Children and domestic violence
We are going around in circles. Children who have seen such abuse on their mum is as traumatic as it gets. And yet?
Children, the Church and Confession
I would imagine that the reason why Confession was introduced made sense at some point at least for those who came up with the idea. It might still make sense for adults today because they have a choice on how to go about it. But with children! Did you know that children as young as 7 go to a priest and if, directly or indirectly, they share that they are either being abused or if there is some inappropriate behaviour happening to them, because they are in a context of confession, the priest cannot report this behaviour (unlike other professions which focus on the wellbeing of children)? My appeal is that this goes against the rights of children as per the Declaration of the Rights of the Child – I could identify at least 3 articles that would deject the process of ‘confession’. If it goes against the interests of children, the Church should remedy this process (by introducing similar ethical rules that guide counselling for example). Until this changes I encourage parents not to allow their children to seek confession. It is a situation which is perilous and a decision by a priest to persist and see through this sacrament instead of reporting has serious implications for the child and might have an impact on the rest of the his/her life.
Children with children
And what about children who end up having children? Do we have enough specialised services? Are we as a society providing enough shelter and comfort in such situations? Do we have enough measures embedded in our community to avoid such situations in the first place?
Migrant children
And what about unaccompanied minors who are taken into care? I’ve heard allegations that minors go missing from State funded homes and following a police report nothing more is done to find them.
Children with a disability
And what about children with a disability? We still don’t have an educational system that is really giving them the opportunity to benefit from the educational system? We still have an inaccessible society and communities that are not ready to allow social, physical and emotional access of disabled children in the community. We still have a cohort of unmotivated educators who are not convinced about ‘inclusion’. We still have a national health system that offers services during the day making children with disability lose out on so much schooling when assessments are mandatory. We still have the CDAU which is not coordinating well enough with other sectors, like the social and educational services.
Children and mental health issues
And what about children with mental health challenges? How are we dealing with them? And what about children whose parents have mental health issues and they end up caring for their parents? Are we providing support to relieve them from this burden? We know of children who are manifesting serious behavioral issues but they start slipping through the system and become invisible.
Parental alienation
And what about children who end up being tugged between one parent and another and a system that is not protecting them well enough from parental alienation. I empathize with couples whose marriage has gone bust but using children as ammo, that is out of order, unprincipled and wrong.
Offspring of public figures
And what about children of politicians and other public personalities? How are we protecting them from excessive attention, memes and exposure to ridicule and mockery? I’ve heard of stories that these children are faced with in schools which are atrocious and this only because their parents are public figures. They end up ostracized, bullied, and pushed aside. These children need legal protection.
Children and charity campaigns
I’ve said so much about this. No, children should NEVER be exposed to telethons, punto e basta!
Children and parenthood
And what about children who are literally being plonked in the educational system from morning till night? What sense does it make to be at school from dawn to dusk (Breakfast Club, formal schooling, 3-16 programme)? Yes, parents need to work. Yes, parents have a right to their careers – but this shouldn’t come at the expense of children being passed around and expecting the system to act as educator, carer and parent. We are failing because parental care can never be replaced by the State, however good the services might be. There is something called 'sacrifice' that comes with being a parent. Parenthood comes with the decision to have kids, no? We seem to be losing our sense of priorities because we are embedded in a Society that values career, popularity, status above everything else. It is ok to give up a couple of things you know. Life is not about how much you do but how well you do it.
Children from a disadvantaged background
And what about children coming from backgrounds with socio-economic disadvantages? Are we listening well-enough to them? Are we managing to pluck them out of the poverty trap? Are they able to benefit equally to other children seated in families with economic and social affluence? Are these children more susceptible to getting themselves into criminal careers?
Children having eating disorders
The Faculty for Social Wellbeing has recently conducted a study in conjunction with Dar Kenn ghal Sahhtek and it is very clear that children are starting to be caught in this spiral of eating disorders. Some 1,700 children registered eating disorders. Are we doing enough in this realm? Are we providing enough support to families or are we dismissing this issue completely?
Children in sports and art
Are all talented children who want to do sports and art getting equal chances or is it a question of privileged families having better access to elite sport and art? Are there enough schemes to allow ALL talented children to access such opportunities whatever the financial and social status of the family is?
Children and criminality
Are children who are going down the road of criminality because of the life chances that they have been denied and the ‘opportunity’ to do bad left unattended? How are we unplugging them from this dangerous cycle of intergenerational crime? We also have a Crime Prevention Strategy. Is this being funded well-enough? And how is the prison program for children in custody working? And why have our judiciary sent children to prison in the first place? How can we have failed these children so much that we had to apply ourselves to the worse possible measures?
Children with religious and ethnicity backgrounds
Do children with different ethnic and religious backgrounds from the mainstream have the same access to their communities? Is it true that bullying of children with such experiences is still very high?
Children and their voice
And what about children in our communities? They hardly have a voice. Sorry, remove the ‘hardly’ – they have NO voice! It is so unfortunate that our children are never really consulted except for the occasional tokenistic visit of a politician or some other personality to a school. The only entity that has really invested in giving a voice to children is The Malta Foundation for the Wellbeing of Society led by the President Emeritus, Her Excellency Marie Louise Coleiro Preca. Children shouldn’t simply be used as a backdrop during political activities but at the foreground of all our policy making whether it’s issues around environment, planning, development, governance, health and others. It's not true we are really interested in what children have to say. Had we been interested we would ask of them their opinion, no? And what about the Commissioner for Children? Shouldn’t this entity stand up and be more visible in its work in this sector. Nothing much seems to be communicated from that Office except for the occasional press release. Such an Office should be at the forefront in all that children are being faced with. We also need to dedicate more resources in academia to understand - through evidence-based research - the state of children. Not enough money is being dedicated to this sector notwithstanding the efforts being made by a number of Faculties and Centers at the Univeristy of Malta.
So we are light years away.
And time flies.
And children grow.