FOMO relates to the fear that others are having more exciting, rewarding and interesting experiences than you are, or have something more, or better. This fear compels us to check what's going on elsewhere, easily achieved by scrolling through Instagram, Facebook or other social media sites. Needless to say, such checking behaviours only confirm one's worst fears, that someone out there is better off than us and we are, indeed, missing out.

Social media is a great tool, when used correctly. However, social media works in such a way that you compare your everyday life to other people's highlights. This gives the impression that others are attending more exciting events, meeting more interesting people and having more opportunities than you are, leading to feelings of sadness, anxiety and regret. To mitigate this, you may turn to Facebook or Instagram in the hope that your fears will be abated, only to find yourself feeling worse. You may then be inclined to share what you're doing or achieving to show that you also lead an interesting life, unwittingly feeding into the FOMO felt by others.

These obsessive checking behaviours and over-use of our phones often results in us interrupting face-to-face interactions to check if something more important or interesting is happening elsewhere. The mistake being made here is that an interruption, in the form of a message, is seen as a connection, one which is possibly more exciting or important. In actual fact, it is a connection, but in order to attend to this new message, you're diminishing the quality of the connection you're currently engaged in.  

So, here are some ideas on how you can reduce your FOMO.

Recognise that you're experiencing FOMO

Acknowledging that you feel anxious about what you may be missing out on, and possibly insecure about yourself and your life, is the first step in managing your fears and anxieties before they worsen.

Limit phone activity

Using our phones triggers a release in dopamine, the feel-good hormone, making it harder for us to stop scrolling. However, excessive phone use has a negative impact on our well-being. Some ideas on how to limit phone use:

-                      Put your phone away when eating

-                      Don't sleep with your phone next to you

-                      When out meeting a friend, keep your phone in your bag

-                      Put your phone on silent at certain points during the day

Accept your life as it is right now

Life dissatisfaction fuels FOMO. You may want more or not be fully satisfied with what you've achieved up until now. However, try to remember that we all achieve things at different stages and focus instead on setting goals and slowly working towards achieving these.

Embrace reality

There will always be someone out there who seems to be doing something more exciting and interesting than you, someone with more money, achieving more, and with a great job. You can't be everywhere at all times and you won't feel and look good all the time. And it's absolutely okay!

Choose wisely what you pay attention to

Filter out any posts, or people, whose posts make you feel sad, angry or inferior. Try to understand what unpleasant emotions are trying to tell you. Is there something in your life you could change? Is it time to look for a new job or study something new? Could taking up a sport or new hobby help you make new friends or help you feel fitter and healthier?

Seek out real connections

Instead of sitting at home messaging people and scrolling through Instagram, see if a friend is available to meet for a coffee, a walk or a meal. Really be present with this person and not focused on anything that may be happening elsewhere. It's the quality of the contact which is important and not the number of connections you have.

Avoid the temptation to over-post

There's nothing wrong with sharing aspects of your life with people online. However, rather than relying on public validation of your experiences and achievements, try to practise privately appreciating yourself and your achievements.

Slow down

The desire to have it all or not miss out results in people feeling they need to constantly race from one task or event to another. Having too much on has become the norm, leaving us stressed, anxious and over-stretched. See if there's anything in your daily routine you can let go of or reduce, allowing you more time to actually enjoy what you're doing.

Enjoy the moment

It's quite ironic that our fear of missing out causes us to miss out on the moment we're actually in. That coffee with a friend, the shopping trip with your sister, the belly laugh with your mum or that evening watching films with your partner - they're the moments we need to appreciate and cherish.

Practice gratitude

Make a list of the things in your life that make you happy - it could be your dog, your job, a partner, friends, a holiday you went on, and so on. A useful exercise is to make a list at the end of each day of two or three things that happened which you're grateful for (for example, your supportive colleague, the coffee shop across the road from work which has amazing croissants, your dog racing to greet you after a long day at work, and so on). Write these things down and really allow yourself to appreciate them.

Psychotherapist Danjela Falzon works with clients on issues related to anxiety, depression, burnout, stress, relationships, sexuality, personality disorders, self-esteem and self-growth. She forms part of the team at paths Clinic. For more information, visit www.paths.care