The Malta Independent 24 April 2025, Thursday
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Cat’s in the cradle

Valerie Visanich Sunday, 23 March 2025, 08:12 Last update: about 2 months ago

"We think we have time, or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much" - wrote Franz Kafka in his letter to his lover Milena. A beautiful exploration into the paradox of time - how we perceive it, how we measure it, and how we let it govern our lives.

Sometimes it feels like we are living on a treadmill of tasks and errands. A relentless rush on the fast track. Trying to keep afloat in a sea of endless demands and duties. Being busy is glorified. The 'dolce far niente' mindset - the sweet joy of doing nothing and embracing idleness is not embraced enough. The kind of busy lifestyle, propelled by societal expectation, is indeed reshaping the way we deal and experience life itself.

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In the first two months of the year, we have heard and read about the low fertility rate and the need for a more sustainable population growth. We heard on how cats and dogs are marching in, occupying cradles. I had written about this earlier this year, on the decreased inclination to have children as opposed to increased leaning to pet adoption. One reason given to vacant cradles is time, or the lack of it. Rightly so, children need quality time to cater for their holistic wellbeing and for their busy schedule.  I find myself muttering the words "hurry up, we are late" to my children more than I wish to.

More than ever, time and time management conditions our everyday actions and decisions. The song Cat's in the cradle by Harry Chapin is a thought-provoking narrative which happens to be my all-time favourite.  It narrates a story about the evolving relationship between a father and his son, with a running theme on time. The father is always too busy with work and personal pursuits to catch up with his son's milestones during the boy's formative years. As the son grows up, he mirrors his father's behaviour.

This song came to mind when reading about the recent strikingly low rate of men taking up parental leave. Recent data indicates that less than 2% of fathers took parental leave, offered after maternity and paternity leave, over nine years. This low uptake highlights the gender imbalance in child rearing as well as workplace expectations on immediacy, which continues to shape parenting roles in Malta. It is no surprise the fear of career setbacks in a gendered outlook to career pauses, often discouraging men from taking time off work to be with their children. It is also no surprise that women often struggle with time management as they carry out their second shift at home after finishing their first at work.

What's more, the habit of not switching off, compels individuals to remain perpetually on; an economic structure fostering a sense of urgency and now.  We are living in what Hartmut Rosa calls 'social acceleration' times. The term is often used to describe the phenomenon of life speeding up in multiple ways, with individuals, organisations, and communities feeling pressured to keep up with constant change. This accelerated pace impacts how we work, communicate and interact, especially when caught up in a kafkaesque productive nightmare. The "always-on" culture, driven by emails, smartphones, and digital communication, has blurred the lines between work and personal life. More is expected in less time, and the need for instant results and efficiency has only intensified. Even on public holidays and weekends it seems harder to disconnect or take a break with family.

Time seems to slip away faster than ever. Like sand trickling through an hourglass, the moments we measure feel as though they are rushing by. If only we could capture time, just as Jim Croce imagined in Time in a bottle. His song beautifully expresses the longing to preserve fleeting moments, to hold onto them, and to spend more time with the ones we love. The lyrics convey a deep yearning to control time-something we all wish for at some point in our lives.

To counter the effects of social acceleration, some suggest slowing down and intentionally making space to truly savour experiences or reflect on life. Creating boundaries around work, unplugging from technology, and being present in the moment, are small yet impactful steps to regain control over our time.

Through song and literature, Croce, Chapin, and Kafka invite us to deeply reflect on the fleeting nature of time and the importance of embracing the present rather than endlessly chasing an uncertain future. Their words capture the beauty of slowing down, savouring moments of stillness, and freeing ourselves from the relentless pressure to always be productive. Stepping off life's treadmill, even briefly, allows us to truly experience the passage of time. If only!

Prof. Valerie Visanich is an Associate Professor in Sociology 
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