Here comes the deluge. Not the rains. Those, except for the sporadic shower, usually wait till later in the year. This time it's the drains - or rather the things which should go into the drains - which are, or were, hurtling freely into our pristine Sliema sea.
First it was Qui Si Sana, the Chalet area, and then it moved to Fond Għadir. The sh** keeps flowing and we are - or at least were - advised to keep away from these areas for our salutary swim.
From Sliema it - this strange effusion of effluvia - moved mysteriously to Xlendi, Gozo, where the sea wasn't, then was, contaminated. The authorities first said it was fine then not fine and we go on, never sure if the sea is pure enough to swim in or not. The authorities somersault so magnificently to cover up their deficiencies that soon we'll end up being told day is night.
Sliema is, according to its name, the land of sliem, peace, serenity. The irony is hardly believable as we - yes maybe all of us are guilty - have turned this place into a dirty, noisy, maddening favela.
Even when the authorities tell us it's fine to dip into the sea, with no drainage seeping from various spots, the "clean" sea is usually covered in slime and debris. The slime, some terrible grumblers say, comes straight from the fish farms which discharge their viscous stuff all around our coast. But no one does much about it and no one is made to take responsibility or to at least clean up the mess.
None of us take action or push the authorities to take action; we never harangue and chase MPs of whichever side of the political divide to get things fixed or put on the national agenda. We grumble amongst ourselves but let everything flow on. Just like our detritus in the sea.
Cleansing of reputation
Qui Si Sana is a beautiful sounding name which translates, from Italian, as "here you get healthy". Swimming in this sea, the name ironically implies, will cleanse you of anything bad in your system. But that's the last thing a swimmer will get out of swimming in drainage.
In Malta we seem to have a predilection for dipping ourselves - or others' reputation - in some miraculous water and all is cleansed.
One of the most important things happening right now is the race for leadership of the PN and therefore for Leader of the Opposition. What do the PN people - those seemingly enlightened ones - do? Get hold of two old known faces and magic them into newly minted, virginal contenders.
Adrian Delia was once, not too long ago, PN leader. He should - with his baggage - never have been chosen. He didn't even manage to reduce the gap between PN and Labour, so he wasn't much of a success at winning over voters.
The gurus now coming out of everywhere to praise him say that he is a changed man, that all problems he had were never real problems but just mistaken perceptions. If, by some quirk of political shrewdness, Delia, as leader, does manage to minimise the gap between the parties, Labour will no doubt retaliate. The Labour hatchet men will come out in droves and resuscitate all the old problems that were never totally cleared and throw all the mud - oh and all that sh** - at Delia and his team.
All this is irrelevant, say the ones who have seen the light and think that Delia should be the anointed one to lead the PN and the country out of the wilderness. They add that, even in the most difficult times, Delia always remained supremely loyal to the party. With such twisted reasoning is it at all surprising that Labour ahead in the opinion polls?
Dipped in disloyalty
If Adrian Delia's credentials are impeccable in loyalty, the other guy touted to be leader or part of the leadership is far from that.
When Franco Debono was an MP he possessed a mighty weapon. His vote in parliament was essential for the survival of the government of the day. He used this power, this weapon, in the most treacherous way. In fact, the end of the Gonzi government came about when Franco Debono voted against it.
Has he too had a dip in the cleansing waters of the sea in Qui Si Sana or some other miraculous place? Debono is also said to have matured, changed, seen the light. Maybe till the next time he is thwarted, annoyed or criticised?
New star needs dimming
This seems to leave the young star from Gozo, Alex Borg, free to take over the party. He's ambitious, capable, charismatic, and could do the undoable: flip the PN's fortunes round and get the flipping party back into power.
But unless he too is dipped into some special, holy, miraculous sea, the man is as unfit to lead the PN as Franco Debono and Adrian Delia. Alex Borg admires Donald Trump, has no qualms about being in league with local developers and finds it normal to attend a conference which is mostly associated with the far right and admits his ideas are right-wing; not far right, he once said. Isn't admiration for Donald Trump admiration for far right ideologies? The party needs a thorough shake to the centre left and away from its old, outdated motto of Religio et Patria.
The PN and the country have enough problems, without reverting to two persons who never delivered when they were called upon to do so or to the new star who seems to want to hitch the party onto a scary populist bandwagon.
Their characters and ideas - however cleaned up, however whitewashed - will always come back to haunt them and us.
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