We might be legitimately right in boasting that we are the leading nation when it comes to LGBTQIA+ rights, but did we ever stop to think for a moment whether these may be going too far with undesirable consequences? Up until now, I used to think that it was a one-off case that happens every now and then, yet it seems that I was wrong. I confidentially got to know that cases of situationship appear to be increasing on university campus and other higher educational institutions.
Understanding the complexities of sexual relationships is essential to understanding the risky sexual behaviours among Maltese youth. Sexual relationships are being facilitated by the perception of a university as a sexualised space in which one may enjoy a period of emerging adulthood characterised by exploration in relationships, access to alcohol and a prolonged delay in assuming the traditional adult roles of marriage and family.
Youngsters are falling victim to the growing influence of globalisation and consumerism in our society. Young men and young women are being engaged to critically challenge the implicit assumptions about sexual interactions within various situations that may put them at risk for poor sexual health outcomes. Dating apps seem to be part of the problem in 'situationships'.
When I heard the word "situationship," I thought, what are situationships? Are they real, and if they were, who would want this type of relationship? Situationships are undefined grey areas. Generation Z coined the term "situationship" to describe their non-defined, semi-committed relationships that lack the pressure of full-on dating. In other words, they want to have their cake and eat it too.
Loosely defined, a "situationship" is an undefined relationship between two people outside of traditional dating, cohabitation and marriage. This type of relationship occurs when two people are emotionally or physically intimate, or a combination of the two, without being committed.
Often, situationships lack clarity or commitment from either partner, leaving both parties open to exploring love and emotional attachments with other individuals. Is this starting to sound like a friends-with-benefits situation to you? Well, if you answered yes, then you're right.
Unlike traditional relationships, where both partners are usually on the same page about the boundaries and expectations of their bond, situationships tend to be ambiguous. In other words, the two involved may not define their connection as a "situationship," but consider it a loose friendship or casual fling. The boundaries of these types of relationships can range widely, depending on the individual circumstances between the two parties. Now, despite the freedom and lack of labels, are situationships worth the risk?
Today's society is different. If you have not had sex, other people (fellow students) think something is wrong with you. So if you sit in a group of friends discussing sex but have not had any, everyone will laugh but also try to get you into it. This poses a challenge for the design and implementation of holistic youth-led sexual health programmes. Like all things, whether committed or non-committed, there are risks. However, because this connection is undefined and, some would say, greedy, the cons far outweigh the pros.
Equally important, undefined connections make one more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases and mental bondage. Young people aged 15 to 24 are at considerable risk for HIV infection. Numerous social and developmental factors contribute to the risk of HIV transmission among emerging adults, including educational and vocational opportunities, economic disparities, gender inequality, socio-cultural norms, multiple partnership formation, power dynamics within relationships, the time and characteristics of sexual initiation and biological factors such as gender and age at puberty.
So, what are the risks of situationships? Lack of clarity: without a solid foundation or precise definition of the relationship, both partners risk being led astray or hurt by uncertainty or miscommunication. Insecurity and jealousy: through a lack of commitment, a situationship can lead to jealousy, insecurity and other negative emotions associated with not having a set arrangement.
No future planning: without a commitment to each other's future, neither partner will feel safe enough to plan for long-term things such as marriage, kids or even moving in together. The partners may have unmet needs and different expectations. Due to the undefined nature of their connection, an ideal level of frequency of communication or how much time they can spend together may also be fuzzy.
When either partner realises the future is unplanned for them, it can lead to heartbreak when one ends the relationship abruptly.
The ever-changing nature of these types of relationships can lead to complete emotional exhaustion if you consistently try to figure out where the situation stands without guaranteeing that things will improve or change course.
This vagueness often leads one to feel uncertainty, anxiety, frustration, resentment, helplessness and, sometimes, even depression.
These days, true and strong relationships are hard to come by. Conversations have become texting, arguments have become phone calls, feelings have been substituted by subliminal messages, sex has become easy and the word love is used out of context.
Insecurities have become a way of thinking; getting jealous has become a habit; and trust is hard to come by. Being hurt has become natural, and leaving is becoming the only option.
Sad, but true. So if you are in a relationship that's promising and worth it, don't take it for granted. Fight for it and don't let it go.
Dr Mark Said is a lawyer