Why, why, why, Delilah...?
It is the kind of chorus that demands volume. Sung shoulder-to-shoulder at weddings, in bars, and on the way to the xalata. Generations have embraced Tom Jones's 1968 hit Delilah as a rousing classic. Yet beneath the swelling brass and theatrical drama lies a story that is anything but celebratory.
Strip away the melody and what remains? A man consumed by jealousy watching his lover through a window. He suspects betrayal. He feels humiliated. When he confirms she has moved on, he does not walk away. He murders her. And we sing along to a confession of femicide. If Delilah was released today, would it slide comfortably into party playlists? Or would it be dissected under the harsher spotlight of cancel culture? Would we still chant it without a flicker of unease?
These questions feel particularly sharp in Malta. Domestic violence in Malta is a growing issue. Recent data show an increased by 6.2% between 2020 and 2022, and in 2024, 3,798 individuals sought support services, 76% of them women. Perpetrator services were accessed by 535 individuals, 93.6% of whom were male. In 2022, women represented 79% of intimate partner violence victims and 69% of domestic violence victims recorded by police, with psychological violence being the most common form.
At the European level, this issue has also received renewed legislative attention. In May 2024, the European Union adopted Directive (EU) 2024/1385 of the European Parliament and of the Council on combating violence against women and domestic violence. Article 44 requires Member States to cooperate with the European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) in collecting administrative data on these forms of violence and to adhere to common methodological standards. Taken together, these figures outline both the scale of the problem and the importance of robust, standardized data collection in shaping effective policy responses.
The pattern is clear. Intimate partner violence remains one of the most persistent forms of abuse. Behind every statistic is a lived reality. Experts consistently warn that reported cases represent only a fraction of reality. Abuse thrives in silence and in small island state like ours, silence can feel suffocating. Victims may hesitate to report violence for fear of gossip, disbelief or stigma. Economic dependency can trap women in unsafe relationships, limiting their choices and, in some cases, their ability to leave situations that are harmful or even dangerous. When a woman lacks independent income, access to resources, or financial literacy, the cost of walking away can feel impossible, not only emotionally, but materially.
For this reason, and others, the conversation should not revolve around whether women including mothers should work. That framing is outdated and reductive. The more urgent and constructive question is how society can create conditions that allow women to be financially independent, regardless of whether they are mothers, caregivers, or neither.
Financial independence is about agency. It is about ensuring that no woman remains in an unsafe relationship because she cannot afford to leave. This requires structural support: flexible working arrangements, better parental leave policies that do not penalise career progression, opportunities for re-skilling and re-entering the workforce, and workplaces that recognise caregiving as a shared social responsibility rather than a private female burden.
When women have the means to support themselves, they gain bargaining power, resilience and freedom. And freedom, including the freedom to leave, is fundamental to both equality and safety. Women should have the liberty to leave toxic relationships, whatever the reason, especially if it can lead to violence. The absence of financial independence translates into a profound loss of agency.
Unlike Delilah, which culminates in violence, Dolly Parton's Jolene is structured around vulnerability and loss of agency. The song stages an intimate confrontation between two women, one of whom bound by insecurity. The narrator pleads. "Please don't take my man" as a declaration of fear.
Economic dependence often traps women in situations of vulnerability. When income, property, or savings are controlled by a male partner, the imbalance of power deepens. This dependency not only limits physical mobility but also erodes confidence and bargaining power within the home. Until autonomy is respected without condition, until a woman's "no" is met not with rage, but with restraint, the haunting refrain of why, why, why, Delilah? should serve as a stark reminder of the persisting climate of violence against women.
Empowering women to shape their own lives is not a slogan for International Women's day; it is a safeguard. Women need safe, accessible spaces where they can seek psychological, legal, and financial support without fear or stigma. These are lifelines. They reduce exposure to violence, strengthen independence, and restore the confidence that coercion seeks to erase.
Agency is more than survival. It is the power to choose, to leave, to rebuild, to begin again. It is the freedom to say, without fear or consequence: You can have him, Jolene.
Prof. Valerie Visanich is an Associate Professor in Sociology