Many people think the danger ends when a relationship ends. They believe that once someone finally leaves an abusive relationship, the worst is over. That from that point onward, peace begins. That freedom automatically brings peace of mind.

But those who have experienced narcissistic abuse know a very different reality. Sometimes, the abuse does not end after separation. Sometimes it becomes worse.

For many victims, leaving is not the end of the war. It is simply the moment when the war changes its form.

During the relationship, the abuse is often mixed with moments of affection, apologies, promises of a better future, intense emotions, confusion, and cycles of hope. A victim may spend years trying to understand, fix, calm, or preserve the version of the person they once believed truly existed.

But when the victim finally leaves, the mask often falls away completely. The relationship ends, but the need for control remains.

This is where the attacks begin that many people never see: smear campaigns, ongoing harassment, stalking, false allegations, legal abuse, financial sabotage, online attacks, and attempts to destroy the victim's credibility with family, friends, workplaces, and even institutions.

The most painful part is how misunderstood all of this still is by society. Many people say, "Move on," "Block them," "Stop giving them attention." But victims are not suffering because they are still obsessed with the relationship. They are suffering because many of them continue to be psychologically targeted even after the relationship has ended.

This is the part most people never see.

They do not see the panic attacks every time the phone rings. They do not see the fear of running into that person in the street. They do not see the constant anxiety about which lie is being spread now or which part of your life will be attacked next.

They do not see how exhausting it is to defend your reality while simultaneously trying to heal from it.

For many victims, separation is the moment when the nervous system finally collapses. During the relationship, the brain remains in survival mode. A person adapts to chaos, tries to remain emotionally safe, and lives day by day.

But after leaving, the body begins to process everything it has endured. That is why many victims feel emotionally disconnected or shattered after leaving, even when they know it was the right decision.

This is not simply a "toxic breakup." This is not relationship drama. For many people, this is prolonged psychological warfare that continues even after physical separation.

And this reality needs a name.

Narcissistic abuse can lead to Complex PTSD - a condition in which the brain and nervous system remain trapped in a permanent state of alarm. A person begins living in constant hyper-vigilance. Every sound feels threatening. Every phone call brings fear. Flashbacks are not just memories; they are full experiences that pull you back into the trauma.

Many people do not understand how deeply this kind of abuse can destroy someone from within. A narcissist does not only hurt you emotionally. They study your vulnerabilities, learn what makes you feel safe or loved, and then use all of it against you.

Gas-lighting causes you to lose trust in your own memories and perception. Love bombing creates emotional dependency on their approval, which is then withdrawn to keep you trapped. Many victims end up isolated from the people who once loved them and begin believing they themselves are the problem.

The effects are not only emotional. Research shows that prolonged trauma can alter brain functioning. The areas responsible for memory, emotional regulation, and fear responses are directly affected.

This is why many victims turn to substances or other survival mechanisms. Not to have fun. Not to escape responsibility. But to quiet a nervous system that feels like it is screaming constantly.

Many people will judge them. They will use words like "junkie" or "addict" without ever trying to understand what lies behind that pain. But when someone is living every day in psychological terror, they often do whatever they can just to keep breathing.

This does not mean drugs are the solution. But it does mean we need to start understanding addiction within the context of trauma, not simply as a moral failure.

The problem is that our systems are still far behind in understanding these patterns. Many victims are treated as "unstable," "difficult," or "overly emotional," while psychological abuse remains invisible because it leaves no obvious physical scars.

That needs to change.

Victims need more than awareness campaigns or motivational quotes on social media. They need real protection. They need institutions, courts, police, and mental health services to understand what psychological coercion truly is.

They need language to explain what they have been through. They need recognition. They need justice.

And above all, they need to stop being failed by systems that still do not understand the psychological warfare many of them are living through every single day.

Because for many survivors, the battle did not end.

It is still continuing.

Every day.

Ivan Bartolo MP