There has never been a time when we have had so many ways to communicate with one another. We have smartphones, social media, video calls, instant messaging and now even artificial intelligence, which can be available to us 24 hours a day. We can be online from morning until night, see what hundreds of people are doing and send a message within seconds. And yet, many people still feel alone.

This is one of the greatest contradictions of modern society: we have more communication, but not necessarily more closeness. We have more contact, but not always more genuine relationships. And perhaps most importantly, we have more people around us virtually, but sometimes fewer people who truly know what is happening inside us.

Social media: connection or loneliness?

Social media can be a positive tool. It can connect us with family and friends who live far away, give us the opportunity to meet people with similar interests and provide a voice to those who might otherwise not have a platform.

But there is another side. Likes, followers and comments can create a false sense of belonging. A person may have thousands of followers and still not have a single person they can call when they are struggling.

The problem begins when we confuse attention with love, popularity with belonging and communication with intimacy. Someone pressing "like" on something you posted does not mean they truly know who you are.

Young people and loneliness

Loneliness among young people is also a reality that we cannot ignore. A young person may have many online friends, be active on several platforms and still feel isolated.

At this age, there is enormous pressure to appear happy, popular and successful. When young people compare their lives with the lives others present online, they may begin to believe that everyone else is living a better life than they are. And when they do not feel part of a group, loneliness can become even stronger.

We therefore need to ask not how many contacts young people have, but how many relationships they have in which they can truly be themselves without fear of judgement.

Men and loneliness

There is also a particular dimension to the way men experience loneliness. For many years, society has taught many men that they need to be strong, not complain and avoid showing vulnerability.

For this reason, for some men, saying "I am lonely" can be extremely difficult. They may be surrounded by people and still have nobody with whom they can speak honestly.

We need to change this culture. Saying that you feel lonely is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of honesty and courage.

Older people and invisible loneliness

When we talk about loneliness, we often think of someone who lives alone. But loneliness is much more complicated than that

An older person may live with their family and still feel lonely. They may be surrounded by people but feel that nobody listens to their opinion anymore, nobody needs them or that they no longer have an important role in anyone's life.

Therefore, we need to speak not only about the need for companionship, but also about the need for dignity and the feeling that one is still useful and valued.

When you are lonely within a relationship

One of the most difficult forms of loneliness is feeling alone while being with someone.

A person may be married, in a relationship or living with a family and still feel that nobody understands them. Sometimes the problem is not the lack of physical presence, but the lack of emotional connection.

Being in the same room is not the same as being emotionally present for one another.

The workplace

The workplace has also changed. Remote working and technology have brought many benefits, but they can also reduce opportunities for spontaneous human contact.

Competition, pressure to succeed and a culture of performance can create an environment where people begin to see one another as colleagues or competitors rather than as human beings.

People need more than a salary and good working conditions. They also need relationships based on respect, trust and belonging.

The modern city and the loss of community

There was a time when there was the village square, the neighbours, the local shop and a culture in which many people knew one another. Modern life has brought enormous progress, but in some ways we have also lost part of our sense of community.

We can live in apartment blocks filled with people and not even know who lives in the apartment next door.

This raises an important question: are we building cities where people live together, or simply buildings where people live next to one another?

Loneliness, dignity and housing

Housing also plays a role. Small apartments, high housing costs and a lack of communal spaces can affect the way people meet and build relationships.

A home is not simply a roof over our heads. It is part of our social life. When a person is under constant financial pressure or cannot afford an environment where they feel safe and stable, this can also affect their wellbeing and relationships.

Artificial intelligence as companionship

Today we have a new reality: artificial intelligence can be available to a person at any time. It can listen, respond, explain and maintain a conversation.

This can be helpful to someone who feels lonely. But we need to be careful that AI does not become a replacement for human relationships.

Digital companionship may help fill a moment of emptiness, but it cannot completely replace friendship, family, a hug, human presence and the feeling that another person chooses to be there for you.

How do we create new communities?

If we want to fight loneliness, we cannot focus only on services for people who are alone. We need to create spaces where people can belong.

Community centres, local groups, intergenerational activities, sport, culture, volunteering and spaces where people can meet without having to spend a lot of money can all be part of the solution.

Because a person does not only need a service. They need a community.

The shame of saying "I am lonely"

There is still stigma surrounding loneliness. Some people are afraid to admit it because they believe others will see them as failures, weak or unwanted.

But if we want to change the situation, we need to start by making conversations about loneliness normal.

Saying "I am lonely" should be just as acceptable as saying, "I need help."

From words to action

Ultimately, it is not enough to talk about loneliness. It is not enough to create services or launch campaigns.

We need to show people, through concrete actions, that they have a place in society.

Sometimes the first step can be simple: a visit, a phone call, an invitation, a kind word or an opportunity for someone to contribute. Because dignity is not given through words alone. It is given when a person feels that their presence has value.

The problem with modern society is not that we lack ways to communicate. We have more than ever before. The problem is that perhaps we are losing the spaces where we truly feel understood.

And therefore, the fight against loneliness is not simply a fight to ensure that people have someone to talk to. It is a fight to ensure that every person can look around and say:

"I belong. I matter. And there is a place for me here."

Ivan Bartolo MP

Shadow Minister for Social Policy, Family and Social Housing