This certainly was the year of the villain.

Saddam Hussein was finally captured and arrived on our screens looking like the criminal he is. But in a year where political correctness went mad the Pope expressed his concern at these images, and said his dignity should be maintained. The villains of the year for the politically correct were sadly the Americans and the Brits. Somehow we all conveniently forget how we would all want them to come and rescue us if we were living under a Saddam or the Taliban.

The Americans ignored world opinion and gave a resounding win to Bush although most local commentators thought Kerry would swing it.

The award for the worst villainy

I don’t think you can look back on this year and ignore the beheadings and the senseless and gruesome killings carried out in Iraq. Has someone told these guys they are doing their cause no good? And when they captured and killed that kind British woman who had given a life’s service to the Iraqis, people all understood, Christians, Muslims and Jews, that God is still used as a pretext to excuse criminal behaviour.

The award for worst tit for that behaviour

This must go to the Americans who in retaliation for the lack of support from the French, not least over Iraq, banned France’s export of 20 tonnes of foie gras (per week!) to the US. The Americans claim this is because of unsanitary French factories, but unofficially it’s because of this newly revived hatred of all things French.

The award for bad taste

This must go to Rebecca Loos who besides having probably had an affair with David Beckham, which she then trumpeted all over the tabloid press, went on TV and did unrepeatable things to a boar on television for 10 minutes. Amusingly, the organisation that monitors decency standards said after receiving 37 complaints:

“We don’t believe the scene was degrading or harmful to the boar!”

The award for worst sportsmanlike behaviour

The Olympics were fab, don’t get me wrong, but the way the crowd jeered those absolutely brilliant US sprinters because the Greek athlete had been caught using dope was appalling. The three black Americans didn’t let it get to them and made the track theirs. As for football, who can forget Arsenal (except Man U and Chelsea fans!) winning the Premiership without losing a game, and setting a record for the whole league to envy. Much of it is thanks to a Frenchman of course, who has also lost his temper and been admonished for it of late. I don’t know why the French are figuring so prominently this year!

The award for freak electoral results

I don’t think we can ignore the local European election results which were not just freaky here, with disgruntled Nats giving a third seat to Labour, and the strong showing of the racist element, but also in the UK where the Norman Lowell equivalent, the so called Independence Party polled only seven per cent less than Labour and more than the Lib Dems. Sad that racism can attract more support than say loony left greenness. Although I don’t support the Harry camp, they are far more palatable than the Norman Lowells of this world and I do wonder who actually has more real support? Racism seems much more active than green attitudes, even

locally.

The award for wild statement

This must go to Harry again for in his amazing excitement, post European elections, saying that the Maltese Greens are the largest Green Party in Europe. Please Harry, do deduct the protest vote before you make wild statements. How many people are actually members of AD in Malta? Concentrate on your real enemy, Dr Sant and you will gain a lot more respect, which actually I think you are. Also, find others to represent your party, as it seems like a one-man show

The award for expensive buildings

Is it Dar Malta in Brussels, the Scottish Parliament building, which cost a cool £431 million, or the new Parliament on the old opera house site? Either way, buildings figured very prominently in our local political controversy scene here, and there is no doubt that housing related issues will be big come the next election. Key issues include the rent laws, exorbitant capital gains tax even on people’s summer home and of course the price of the starter home. Some John Dalli measures on capital gains tax did not have the desired effect and have in fact frozen parts of the market. Ask any notary? Come to think of it there is one in the Ministry of Finance who can probably tell the government very well what the problems are. Iron them out soon because our trade in building is really one of our main motors, and no amount of Green waffle will change that and transform us into German or Swiss renters, much as they would like that.

The award for the battle of the bulge

Well it’s not going to the Maltese is it who seem to be the fattest women, the second fattest men and, saddest of all, the fattest and most stressed out children in Europe. Is so much of this over eating with our packet culture to blame? I do wonder about our relationship with food. The way we devour it at a Maltese wedding you would think we were the boat people escaping famine, torture and poverty. On a slightly positive note, McDonalds world wide have ended their supersize portions, and we certainly should start treating unhealthy food like cigarettes and stop advertising junk food that appeals to our couch potato children

Awards for giving

I’m not a big fan of those Gieh ir Repubblika awards, but it was nice that this year, unlike last year (when I complained about it) when they couldn’t find any remarkable women to receive this honour. The woman who is the driving force behind Merhba Bik got her dues, as did a wonderful pianist and another wonderful woman. Only grey hair in sight though. Can’t younger people ever be nominated?

The award for the best chat up line

I don’t know if we need this here with all those relationships going on, as the partner swapping among the very limited English speaking circle has to be seen to be believed. One man who had found his wife in bed with another, and has since bedded many (she not him!), said he would now take his wife back if she wanted him, precisely because now that so many had slept with her, she might be faithful to him the second, or is it the third time around! Still the pretence of happy families is as much of a motivator, as our food here and so the social charade continues.

And yes I haven’t forgotten. The best chat up line has apparently been scientifically tested in many cultures – “This time next year let’s be

laughing”

Perhaps the best thing we should all do when looking back at the year. Besides world events we all had our own private highs and tragedies to contend with.

Laugh it all off and away...