Panto in Malta, the one at the Manoel Theatre, has become almost an institution. People flock to see it, getting a seat is difficult and this year was no exception.

However the panto is now degenerating into something so far removed from children, and any form of Christmas spirit, that all those involved really have to take a long hard look at what is going on. And by all I mean the Manoel Theatre management committee, I mean the writers; I mean the choreographers and the whole panto production team.

Obviously, the Maltese public loves bawdy jokes, but the proportion of jokes, which referred ambiguously to men’s private parts, and all the things that amuse some gays and some transvestites (or our perception of them), reached ridiculous heights this year.

Sex is everywhere. It is all over Paceville, it has permeated our steamy offices but does it have to predominate panto? And more particularly, does the central theme of Maltese panto have to harp, year in year out, on men’s sexual urges for other men? There were of course some political references as well, like the one about George Pullicino’s weight (a bit stale now he has lost so much weight) but generally it was much too focused on, let’s call it, the homosexual factor. It was sad too that the day I was there there seemed to be less children than usual; this may mean that parents are realising the Maltese panto is really for adults who want to laugh at bawdy jokes and the kids are really wasting their time.

Sweetness has gone, sexiness is in... but even at the panto? Snow White sang and acted well but did she have to stand with her legs apart for the whole show? She looked vulgar when she shouldn’t have. She is not after all playing the kind of parts Alan Montanaro and Merieca play so perfectly, when a man doing it just looks ridiculous.

It was incredibly vulgar. Aren’t our little girls able to have a picture of princesses as they were portrayed years ago, do they all have to get in gear for Paceville already? I’m always staggered when foreign children come here. Ours dress and behave much older than their years, and I do wonder why we as adults are actually encouraging all this?

It’s all about being a sex bomb, but surely the innocence of childhood can be celebrated at panto too? Did we have to have so many explicit references to men’s private parts? I mean I thought the whole show was very good and very funny, and very well done in parts, but there was just too much of it and not enough humour for children. Why not have more political and social satire, and satire based on themes children can understand? Why have so much sexual satire?

In fact the best scene that had the whole crowd roaring with laughter was Alan Montanaro and partners lampooning Julie and Ludwig. It was extremely funny and was actually one of the few humorous things about a heterosexual couple rather than a homosexual one in the whole show! Things were definitely out of balance this year and need to be adjusted for next year.

I want to be positive though. So much of the script was good too, and Alan Montanaro is a scream. You actually feel this guy is having the best time of his life; perhaps we have a niche market in Malta for a show with this sort of humour, because people really do seem to love it. Alan Montanaro or one of his personae would for example liven up something like Bondiplus no end, as we do need to laugh at ourselves a bit more than we currently do.

There were also some wonderful singing voices (including the very good looking Snow Whites) but the dancing was pretty average. Indeed this is not just true of this panto performance but everywhere else. We just seem to want to turn our girls into premature pole dancers. All seems to point in that direction, whether you’re watching a show at Baystreet, or at some of our dance schools, or other dance venues. Can they go beyond thrusting their hips forward and shaking boobs forward? Is our choreography limited to this?

Of course this is not just the fault of the panto producers. They are responding to demand; it seems that this is what the Maltese public like to watch. But, as I watched the adults really laughing and the children looking puzzled at yet another reference to men’s bits, I did wonder? After all it is supposed to be a family outing.

I’m not asking for a boring old fairytale with no humour and no sexual innuendos. But come next year, can we keep in mind what’s fun for kids and produce a panto really for them? Can we have a little less sex, especially transvestite /homosexual sex and focus more on a panto, which really exposes Maltese society and teaches us to laugh at ourselves and our foibles.

And most of all, can we gear it up for kids? They should be our first reference with of course some adult humour to stop us grown-ups from falling asleep. And not the other way around...