As the politicians continue to whack accusations and spin against each other back and forth in a sort of frenzied tennis match, voters are trying to keep tabs on this game as best they can. (Of course, others have long deserted the centre court, preferring to tune in to better entertainment such as Tghanniqa or Bomba instead).

So – what would you say the score is at the moment?

Lawrence Gonzi’s budget – 15/love. (You have to admit, the cheers could be heard far and wide as Gonzi served this ace).

Bondiplus programmes on the budget and subsequent reactions are stopped twice by the Broadcasting Authority – 15/all as Alfred Sant scores this point.

Judge Lino Farrugia Sacco (President of the Malta Olympic Committee) shown standing a little bit too close to Sant on NET news – 15/30 for Dr Sant (this cheap trick backfired on the guys at Stamperija).

Young Labour activists who have been writing pro-Sant letters to the English language press blow their cover by sending their email to the wrong person – 30/all as Dr Gonzi recovers.

A sharp performance by Dr Sant during his reply to the Budget – 30/40 as Sant edges into the lead again.

Sant’s announcement that a future Labour government will allow two golf courses in Malta and one in Gozo – deuce! (What a nasty below-the-belt blow to environmentalists).

We learn that almost Lm23,000 was spent on the pre-budget booklet – advantage Sant (who has always harped on government’s careless wasting of our money)

And now a massive media campaign (yet more booklets) is being launched to promote the opening of Mater Dei (hey, wait a minute, wasn’t it already open?!). The government seems to be keeping to its deadline to have a fully functioning new hospital in November, but we’ve already learned that there will be a major shortage of staff. To rebut this, Dr Gonzi has announced new agreements with the doctors’ and nurses’ unions. The umpire is still deliberating whether this point should go to the government or the opposition.

In what looks like a nail-biting tiebreak, Dr Gonzi rather masochistically asks to be “slapped” if we, the electorate, think he was just fishing for votes (or so he was quoted as saying by Maltastar.com).

Of course, apart from these volleys, there have been other minor skirmishes on the sidelines.

Such as Pippo Psaila coming out of nowhere to contest the election and choosing to do so on a highly conservative platform. It baffles me why he thinks this was a wise decision. Everyone knows that the election hinges on the floating voters, and floaters are, by their very nature, more liberal and less inclined to be tied to a particular party by their apron strings. I would hazard a guess that PN floaters, especially, tend to be vehemently against the kind of staunchly Catholic rhetoric that Pippo expressed in a recent interview. No to divorce; no to living together? Unless someone is hiding the real statistics from them, I think the PN is really out of touch with today’s Malta.

There are also whispers that businesswoman Marlene Mizzi (who resigned from her post as chairman of Sea Malta with such panache) might be throwing her hat into the ring for the MLP. She’s been appearing on One TV regularly to comment on the issues and, as she pointed out herself, is it mere coincidence that her husband Magistrate Antonio Mizzi is just now being accused of a breach in the code of ethics of the judiciary for retaining his post as President of the Malta Basketball Association?

Mrs Mizzi, of course, would be an undeniable asset to bring in the female vote, especially from the professional and upwardly mobile sector, which can easily identify with her.

And so the interminable political game of tennis goes on and on…

Throughout all this, we who are still in the stands twist our necks from side to side as we attempt to keep up.

Let’s just hope we don’t all end up with whiplash.