One of the most amusing and perhaps telling bits of research in the last week concerned men and their so called blonde moments. Although I am sure we all have them, blonde moments I mean.

This was not only research into whether men preferred blondes or not?

We already know that for some instinctive primeval reasons relating perhaps to their rarity (the genuine blondes I mean not the plastic bottled or tubed ones) a blonde will normally turn more heads than her brunette sister. No, this research confirmed what many women already know.

And that is that in the presence of blondes men become stupid, or less sharp or whatever nice way you want to interpret it.

So the joke really is on the other foot. It is not so much the reality of the dumb blonde which is a male fantasy since many men (proved by research not invented by me) like women to be or at least to behave as if they are, less intelligent than them, but the reality of the men who become, allegedly of course, dumber in the presence of blondes.

Blondes in other words are not dumb at all, not the natural ones. But men behave as if they are dumber when they are in the company of a blonde, and now this is scientifically proven too. So if you suddenly watch your male partner at a party make a perfect fool of himself in the close radar of a blonde, bottled or otherwise you know why! It’s just instinct apparently.

So maybe all the dark cum brunette Maltese women are right to try and become blondes. Because although this year blonde is out, and brown is meant to be the new black (as black is the new black in fashion), being blonde helps you not only to be more attractive and attract males. It also helps no end in the power struggle with some of your male counterparts. And this trend was not just to be found among less educated males apparently. Men of all classes had their dumb cum blonde moments.

Mind you it is a very confusing world for men too. Men are instinctively drawn to better looking features and blondes, not least to procreate the better looking of the species. Yet so many women, even young women are altering their bodies beyond natural recognition. I know of one young woman who has in her twenties already had her breasts done, her nose changed twice, does Botox, and she started off good looking too.

Oh yes and she is blonde, well an assisted one anyway. But the point is that when they then come to produce offspring the children of these extreme makeover type women, look like what mum is naturally and not how mum has enhanced herself with cosmetic surgery and the like.

So the children can grow up to be not quite what dad expected. Of course by then surgically enhanced Mum will need her facelifts redone, her breasts re-lifted and the like. So men who go just on appearances, as many do, cannot rely on the appearance element to even be genuine anymore. The old trade off between money and looks is not quite as simple as it was. The ugly height-challenged man can still bag a beauty who would not look at him twice if he wasn’t wealthy and powerful, but the man cannot be sure the good looks are real, and what is that modern must-use-in-everything word? Sustainable, that’s it!

It’s the same with all these middle aged men you see with young Russian beauties who, let’s admit it, are not doing our gene pool any harm. Why do they think someone beautiful wants to be with a man twenty years older than her? Why are so many of them so surprised when they are just being used for their cash? How many blonde moments do men need in life? They seem to think it is their natural right to bag a younger woman, and then are surprised to discover they are being used.

Women are much more sensible. If a man ten or twenty years younger goes after a woman most of us would know what the trade-off is. The man wants everything organised and secure. He wants to be looked after. It is not at all sexy. And men who think young girls are swooning after their intellect had better get a reality check. There are of course cases of true love despite age barriers but if you are 40 and balding and some 25-year-old Marilyn Monroe Russian look-alike is after you it’s your pocket she is interested in, not your personality.

So before you leave your brunette wife and your kids who will never forgive you and mistrust men all their lives, think again about your blonde moment. We all have them but men seem to be more susceptible to them than we women are. And the consequences are sometimes not very funny at all.

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