Christmas and New Year is after all a very stressful time, not least because you have to pretend to be jolly even if your partner treats you like rubbish. It is a time when, because of office shut downs and the like, you may be spending much more time with your partner.

It is also a time when you almost invariably have to spend money you don’t really have, which finally hits you when the January, February and even March pay cheques don’t cover it. It seems then that the stress of keeping Christmas going, the rows over office parties, the barbs over Christmas lunch, the almost always disappointing New Years’ Eve bring a lot of marriages to breaking point so that 7 January is known as D-day or divorce day by many lawyers, in the UK particularly.

One said: “We are tremendously busy at this time of year. Clients who may have spoken to us last year about the possibility of divorce will often use Christmas as a time of reflection or a time to attempt reconciliation. If they decide the marriage isn’t going to work they come to us.”

I wonder if our local lawyers can confirm the same European trend. Do more couples approach lawyers about separating after Christmas or around today’s date or is summer the time when our mad heat crazes us all?

Is there a most common month for marriage break-ups in Malta, and if there is what can be done about it?

Christmas and New Year have become ridiculous in terms of the expectations we all have. The husband who never surprises you with a present, once again fails to deliver anything which makes a woman feel valued. We set such a lot of store by Christmas, one day in the year, when really we should be looking at what happens through all the year. Perhaps it is because we programme ourselves to accept disappointments all year but then miraculously want to be rid of them by Christmas.

Happily though divorce rates are going down in the UK, but then again so are marriage rates. Three quarters of divorces are instigated by women, yet locally it is women who appear to be more against. When you consider how few married women are in employment (much less the kind of employment that could sustain a family) it is not altogether surprising, as most women reason, that much as they would love to leave their useless husbands they really have no way to suddenly become economically independent and give their children the lifestyle most Maltese kids enjoy.

The most common reasons cited in divorce applications in the UK are still adultery (44 per cent) abuse (a staggering 40 per cent) and boredom (29 per cent) as well as lack of sex (22 per cent).

Again will one of our intrepid students at University tackle Maltese marriage breakdowns, which is really divorce by any other name because most men hook up with someone else post-separation too, and see what motivates Maltese men and women to separate?

And it is perhaps not surprising that most divorces are initiated post-Christmas by women because it really is a tiring time, getting all the food and presents, dealing with the in-laws who hubby dumps on you, trying to squeeze into that dress you bought, et al. It sort of all revolves around us doesn’t it?

I liked my 10-year-old daughter’s sentiments this Christmas. She said: “I only really want one thing for Christmas. For Maddie to come home.” Yes her and all the other abducted children.

And we had other stories of heartbreak here. One father featured in our local press practically thrown out by his partner and yet amazingly for a man, he is the one who is apparently so devoted to his children and won’t let go. Luckily he went to the YMCA who are very professional in this sort of crisis intervention and the relevant department has offered him a home, as well as the family getting the playstation the dad said he was saving for.

A relationship breakdown over Christmas yes, but a story of great courage, hope and love too, not only from a dad to his kids, but from all those who do so much good in this area.

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