Gonzi, I think we have a problem – and no, his name is not Jeffrey (who has apparently become an Untouchable).

You see, when you barely scrape together enough support to slip through to win the election (by trying to be all things to all men) you could end up with multiple personality syndromes.

Raise your hand if you can tell me: what does the PN actually stand for? What is its ideology, its platform, its raison d’être? Conservative? Liberal? Right-wing? Centre?

It rightly encourages private enterprise but continues to perpetuate the concept of a welfare state initiated by Mintoff with an even wider range of social services (and is now in a quandary because this notion of the government providing everything for “free” is clearly unsustainable). By broadening its voter base to appeal to the lower income group, it has stirred up resentment among the middle classes who feel their taxes are being used to support those who are not pulling their weight.

Although it has moved towards the centre, this is a party whose conservative right-wing roots are so meshed with the Catholic Church that its ethos is Religio et Patria. It describes itself as “a Christian Democrat party”… and yet a substantial number of people who vote PN are the antithesis of all this. They are uncomfortable with this merging of Church and State and would prefer a more secular party. They are liberals, who don’t and won’t allow religion to dictate their lives; anti-conformists who angrily object to being dictated to on moral issues by the State.

These Nationalist supporters will tell you that there is a liberal faction within the party they vote for, but therein lies the problem. The liberal MPs are not the ones who have been chosen by Gonzi to form part of his Cabinet.

Just look at his line-up of newly appointed, straight-as-an arrow, tightly buttoned up men: 30/40 something who look and talk like they’re from another era. Hair carefully parted on the side, same glasses, identical dark suits, and almost identical demeanour. They’re the kind of (rather boring) good boys that once upon a time girls were encouraged to take home to meet the parents.

This is not exactly the crop that will pass any earth-shaking legislature like divorce – not in my lifetime.

Lawrence Gonzi might have made tentative noises about introducing laws to cover common-law marriage, but then scurried back to safety by adding that this will also cover siblings who live together (huh?).

Gay rights remain mere lip service, until we have politicians who are ready to emerge bravely out of that closet. As for an MP daring to wave the pro-choice banner – well, he could probably kiss his political career goodbye.

For liberals, the government’s ingrained conservatism becomes even more cringingly obvious when ministers represent us abroad – what comes across is not the hip, cosmopolitan, EU country we like to think we are. It’s more like an insular island State that still cannot draw the line between personal religious beliefs and national policy.

Maybe it’s time liberal Nationalists split off from the Mother Ship and created their own political party.

Some humility at last

Recently, on Radio 101, Minister Tonio Borg said, “Although the 8th of March was the third consecutive electoral win, the Nationalist Party is conscious of the fact that it must remain well grounded and recognises the fact that it had a majority of just a few hundreds of votes.”

Well, that’s more like it. For a moment, I was beginning to think I had imagined the entire election. It’s probably because I’ve been reading too many comments from cyber bullies like: “Oh just shut up and be quiet you loosers (sic), we won and we are in government so just stay there in Opposition and let us run the country, you have no right to criticise anything the PN does, because you lost and we won, OKAY…?”

Now I’ve always found this “we won” phrase very interesting and peculiar to Malta. Kind of reminds me of that well-worn saying Il-gvern taghna u naghmlu li rridu. The gist is that, if someone supports a political party and “their” party wins, they too have won by association, which means they have the right to lord it over everyone else who was dumb enough not to vote for the winning party. The reasoning behind this is that if you backed the eventual winner that makes you much more clever, superior, intelligent, and so on. Ergo, it gives you the right to call all the shots, heap ridicule on your opponents and generally strut around as if you were the Prime Minister himself. Oh, and it also means that you virtually own Malta.

It is the use of this “we” which I find intriguing. It brings to mind how grown men who support Italian or English football teams huff and puff about how “we” played well and how “we” thrashed your behinds, when all they did was sit at home watching the game in their armchair, guzzling beer and crisps. To hear them talk you would think they were the ones running around that pitch, scoring all the goals and receiving all the adulation.

It’s a kind of glory by proxy, I suppose.

But for us mere mortals, whose entire existence never depended on who won the election, this “we” talk merely proves that we still have a long way to go if we ever want to grow up.

Promise me

One of the many marketing angles used during the election campaign was that two years under Sant were characterised by U-turns and bad decisions, while in the four years under Gonzi, we never had it so good (although what this said about how the country was being run by Eddie, is anyone’s guess).

The thing about this kind of boasting is that people tend to remember it. So you cannot really blame the public for now scrutinising everything the new Nationalist administration is doing, just to, you know, check up on things.

Let’s take recycling. I have been diligently recycling ever since the bring-in sites were put into place. It has now become second nature for me to sort out the plastic, paper, metal and glass in separate bins. When I have enough, I put them in my car boot and throw them away in the respective skips whenever I pass by. Easy peasy.

So when I read about the new Recycle Tuesdays system I automatically assumed the material that would be collected from my doorstep would have to be sorted as well. But no, that would be too logical. What we are expected to do is to put plastic, paper and metal (but not glass – that still goes to the bring-in sites) into the same plastic bag (which was available for free for just two weeks). A case of one step forward, two steps back. First you spend all that money teaching people how to separate waste and then, when they are finally doing it, you are spending even more on publicity campaigns telling them to unlearn it. Oh and by the way, they have to fork out money to do it (and despite phoning WasteServ, my local council and various shops I have still not established how much these bags will cost).

According to another story, the rebates on energy-saving appliances have also been unceremoniously stopped. Even though we were promised (number 159 in the PN’s ambitious manifesto) that these rebates would continue. But what’s a promise between friends at election time?

The latest update (after there were some mild protests) is that the energy rebates might be extended until the trade fair. Oh, and a new scheme will be put in place later this year. But you shouldn’t hold your breath.

As for Mepa and its transparent modus operandi now that it is being run by LG himself…that would really take a whole page on its own. Let’s just say that the PN managed to contort itself enough to simultaneously pander to illegal squatters as well as the environmental lobby.

Income tax cuts – it’s already looking ominous for this promise too. We are now learning that they might not be introduced in this year’s budget after all because of the state of the economy. The economy? But the economy is the Nationalists’ baby! Under a PN government, the economy always booms (unlike under those ignorant, incompetent Labour lot who drive away investment and make a hash of things).

But what’s this the GRTU said recently about the newly introduced Lidl supermarkets?

“The real threat to Maltese retailers is not new supermarkets. GRTU is mostly concerned because while new players are entering the market, consumption is not increasing. Actually it is on the decline, as the consumers’ disposable income is not increasing. In the long term, people are having to cut down on their consumption. This reduction in the total value of sales is the real danger to the Maltese economy.”

How can this be? Please say it isn’t so.

Head boy

I have no doubt that Gordon Pisani will do a great job as Head of Government Communications – if by great job one means that he will “sell” government policy to us minions in the same way he fed the public Nationalist Party spin during the election campaign. But, of course, that is the way the cookie crumbles in politics.

I find it more pertinent to question why Gonzi feels he needs a person with Gordon’s particular skills by his side at this point in his second legislature. Could it be, perhaps, that Lawrence’s popularity ratings have inexplicably slid since the election and Gordon (ta da!) has been brought in to save the day?

I also find it interesting that when the post was held by a woman she was merely called a press secretary (Josephine Vassallo, who has now been shifted sideways to the post of Gonzi’s “personal secretary”), but Gordon is given a much fancier title. But what’s in a name right?

According to the Prime Minister, Mr Pisani will be coordinating the media representatives of all the ministries. Presumably, as a ‘head’ Gordon will also have a number of staff doing his bidding, which makes me wonder how much all this is going to cost the taxpayer? Maybe as one of his first jobs communicating to the public, Gordon would like to answer this one.

And what is this I see? Well, I never. George Abela is actually criticising the Nationalist government.

After Gordon’s appointment, Dr Abela was reported as saying, “The government is moving towards the direction where it is being a divisive Government. It speaks about unity but then in reality we are not seeking unity. Two new appointments have just been made. One, the PBS Editorial Board, was made with certain prudence. However, with regard to the Head of Communications in the Office of the Prime Minister, the decision was extremely partisan. A former PN employee who also had a hand in directing the PN’s election campaign. This is not a good signal!”

I wonder how the “Nationalists for George Abela” fan club is going to wriggle itself out of this one? Should they tear him to pieces? Or ignore he ever said it and have a quiet word in his ear?

Ah, decisions, decisions.

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