Studies are once again being carried out to try and establish the extent of just how deep-rooted domestic violence is in Maltese families.

We have not heard many figures, but the Commission Against Domestic Violence has expressed concern about how many cases remain hidden and do not come to light.

Throughout the developed world, it is an accepted fact that while more and more cases of domestic violence seem to make the courts, it is not a case of a dramatic increase in the actual number, but the fact that more and more women are reporting them.

It is clear, when women (and a minority of men) are abused, they feel that they can turn to the authorities and other support organisations for help.

In Malta, sadly, it seems we lack behind. One case made the headlines last week where it was heard how a man treated his wife and child as objects, his possessions that had to do as they were told, when they were told and were expected to live off his ‘charity’.

And while the support structures are lacking (an issue we will tackle later in this essay), the fundamental problem we face is one of mentality.

Psychologists we are not, but it is pretty clear that the first thing that needs to be rooted out, from an early age, is the tribal chief mentality. If people think that these issues are related to the older generation, they are gravely mistaken – there are men and women who think that their partners and families are simply there to be used and abused of as they see fit.

How we are going to achieve this is beyond comprehension and is a result of systematically ignoring the problem for far too long. It is not that long ago, only a few years actually, when priests even used to tell battered women that they could never leave their husbands, no matter what they did to them. This is fact and while social norms have changed, such ‘advice’ can never be condoned, justified or repeated ever.

And this leads us in to the support structure argument. It is good that the police have a very able and understanding squad who deal with these women and it is also promising to see that they do get the cases to court and the victims feel empowered. It is also very heartening to see that the courts, in the vast majority of cases, send the perpetrator back to their mother’s (literally) so as to afford the victim security and a roof over their head in the matrimonial home.

But what happens to all those other women who sit at home in the kitchen, cowering... waiting for that next slap, forced sex, maybe a punch or a tirade of mocking abuse that saps their will day after day?

What about those victims who feel trapped in their own home, those who have been told that they will be hunted down like vermin and killed if they ever leave? What about those who have no family and nowhere to turn to? What about those who have given up and have consigned themselves to the fact that they will never get out of their miserable plight?

This is no exaggeration. This is what the government, its ancillary support arms, the law and society in general must strive to change.