There have been many instances where employees knock on the HR manager’s door delineating the issues why they just cannot get along with another person. They go to the HR manager because they feel it is his/her job to ‘fix’ the situation. How can such interferences be avoided? Kerrie Fleming, a member of the Leading People faculty at Ashridge Business School, who specialises in leadership development and is proficient in leadership emotional intelligence, says that emotional intelligence (EI) is one way to avoid such interferences. EI is a powerful tool of communicating effectively, building relationships and creating a positive working environment. 

Businesses today require HR professionals and managers to be emotionally intelligent, capable of dealing with problems, lead by example, prompt initiative, manage difficult situations and develop good relationships with clients and employees. Successful HR professionals are aware that their job is not just about hiring, as they can help line managers deliver measurable improvements in productivity and win the hearts and respect of management to contribute to the bottom line. Through EI the HR professionals now hold a strategic tool that can help management yield the desired results. 

EI offers methods to assist in solving retention and morale issues, improve an organisation’s creativity, enhance synergy from teamwork, improve information flow, help to drive set objectives forward, whilst elicit the best and most inspired performance of employees. 

Fleming explains that the development of EI comes through being self-aware and aware of others. This involves setting aside for a while the task at-hand and observe what is going on around you. Previously, emotions were more often than not regarded as an unwanted and unsociable set of characteristics that needed to be controlled since they were related to weaknesses and instability. Through research it emerged that emotions are essential for motivating actions that are critical in the adaptation of challenges of survival or well being, both personally and professionally. Fleming adds that we all experience many types of emotions such as fear, anger, enjoyment, disgust, interest, surprise, contempt, shame, sadness and guilt. Such emotions become stronger in times when our values and beliefs are compromised. 

If we want to function professionally, it is important that we manage these emotions “temporarily”, to avoid conflict. Managing these emotions does not equate to ignoring them, as over time this can take its toll and lead to stress. The consequence of such mismanagement of emotions can lead to HR functions being overwhelmed by trivial conflicts in the workplace that might spiral out of control. However, with the application of EI, it can ease all this. Fleming refers to Daniel Goleman who in 1995 described EI as identifying the feelings while being capable of handling those same feelings without being flooded, and at the same time we ought to be motivating to get the job done; being creative and performing at one’s peak; sensing what others are feeling and handling relationships effectively. 

This is all good, but how can we develop emotional intelligence? Is it something we are born with or can it be acquired through various strategies? The truth is that some people are better than others at reading their own emotions as well as other’s. Fleming gives some ideas that might help develop emotional intelligence: 

Listening to our own emotions – These offer very important data about the instinctive feelings, about people and situations. Such feelings will provide some real clues as to whether the person or situation is making you feel a certain way. This information will allow in the assessment of whether the person or situation is possibly in conflict with your values or beliefs. By naming the feeling, there could be a reduction of the impulse reaction against them or the situation. This underlies some of the practices of art therapy and is an alternative means of describing the emotion. 

Paying attention to how others are feeling – Occasionally, while carrying out a task, it is natural to focus on how we are feeling, even though we might be causing some uncomfortable stirrings of emotions to the individual we are communicating with. Paying attention to various clues will keep you alert. Fleming suggests a number of clues to look out for, such as body language, which includes facial expression, stance, gestures and tone. A simple physical movement could indicate that the person may be withdrawing him/herself from a conversation. This could happen for a number of reasons, maybe the subject no longer has relevance for them, or they do not agree with the content of what was said. Proceeding further without taking any action is imprudent, it is important to stop and ask some open questions as to what they think or how they feel about what has just been said. By doing so you will win some time to assess if you are on the right track and whether you are still engaging them or not. 

Noticing moods – Some people have the power to energise you more than others. It’s good to think about why that is the case. Maybe you share common values or beliefs? If so, you can hold on to this good mood and in your next meeting or encounter, try to instil this positive mood in others around you. Good moods are contagious, so are bad moods! It is important not to underestimate the power of your mood at work, as it is contagious and can be the determinant factor as to whether people actively want to work with you or not. 

What is behind emotions? When faced with an emotional response, like a person who is angry or sad, before reacting stop and think about what could be behind such a reaction. This can be rather difficult, especially if the emotion is directed at you, even though most of the time it has nothing to do with you at all. Occasionally, when people feel inadequate or out of control, they will react emotionally if their beliefs are being compromised. An emotionally intelligent individual will not react to the emotion, but tries to find out what is really going on. Sometimes it only involves moving to a less threatening location, or changing the discussed subject until composure is regained. When the person calms down, it is good to probe gently in order to gain insight on what is really going on. This requires some real confidence and bravery, particularly because you need to put aside how the person’s reaction has made you feel and focus on what is really going on for them.   

Managing emotions – In our lives, we find people and situations that make us feel better or worse than others. There will be instances where we have no choice but to deal with and work with people who are very different to us and will evoke in us some strong reactions. Fleming elaborates that the most important aspect is not to ignore feelings, but being able to manage them in a way that works for us. If you feel irritated or upset in a specific situation where it is not appropriate to display such emotions, you should work out some strategies that allow you to channel the negative emotion into a safe and effective outlet. A simple suggestion set by Fleming involves taking a brief walk outside to breathe some fresh air. 

In all this, organisations also have a responsibility to help its employees in managing their emotions within the work environment. The provision of a suitably qualified mentor by the organisation who people can talk to is a healthy way to allow people to get rid of negative emotions and gain some perspective and wisdom on situations. Talking with a professional or a trusted, positive colleague can make the troubled person feel good and improve their mood.  This will allow people to arrive to work the next day with a clear head and hopefully a light heart. Those who manage to adopt such an attitude are the clear-headed thinkers who will be creative, fun and easy to work with.

 

Ms Brincat Peplow is a researcher at the Foundation for Human Resources Development