Even though I consider myself a Catholic, I'm not too much of a Churchgoer. My interest in participating in the liturgy and sacraments has waned-off these last years, mainly because this is a Catholic Church that struggles with everything it tries to engage with, ranging  from how it  managed the divorce debate to the way the Parishes are  wasting out.

In fact the self-mutilating attitude some parishes are taking by their old fashioned attitudes and teaching is so disengaged and confrontational, it is incredible. The way the Church is connecting, or rather disconnecting with its followers makes it an issue of concern and if the bull is not taken by the horns this institution will soon slip into irrelevance.

But I don't intend to focus this column on the Catholic Church, because enough is said and written on it. In all truth, I am far more interested in talking about 'the one' who should be at its centre.

So I will focus on Jesus - but don't go away, this is no theological lecture.                            

Jesus, to me remains one of the most alluring personalities I have read about.  Even if there are issues that might irritate me about him, this man intrigues me like no other. 

First of all, he is as patient as they come.

He stood his ground for three or so decades waiting. 'Timing' in life is of the essence and pardon the pun, 'God knows' how many opportunities we miss out as we go along our way because things don't seem to happen at the right time. 'Timing' is not only a virtue but a life choice and a lifestyle.  In a world where all needs to happen 'now', patience has become as rare as a fresh breeze in August.  The challenge is to decipher when it is the right time not to wait anymore or to hang on a teeny-weeny bit more, a delicate balancing act to 'time' the choices we are faced with.

Jesus is also fascinating for his sense of social justice. 

My background at St Aloysius College contributed immensely to understand this.  The Jesuits used to drill in us this idea that we should be completely focused on making our society, our communities better places to live in, for us and for those around us. 

Jesus had this same passion about community but more so, he found pleasure going against the tide if the circumstances call for this. As long as people are being served and are better than they were, he was good with that.  His soul was nourished with a drive to help people become better persons.  He was always on the side of the good that lies in every person he met - this so excites me about him.

This might come as a surprise to some, but Jesus was 'sexual' and I love this in him.  This is a dimension that will always remain arguable and problematic, much as I think that it is stupid to stick our heads in the sand knowing that sex is so central to human beings.  Much as I'm trying to avoid getting people's knickers in a twist, let's face it, if sex makes such a strong component of our life, how can we expect Jesus to have been alien to it. 

Nonetheless, the fact that Jesus was 'sexual' in my eyes is so palpable and overt.  Let me explain what I mean by ‘sexual’; the words he said, the looks he  gave, the way he connected, his gentleness - that is all sexual.  He was passionate, he loved affection, he liked to comfort and to be comforted.  In my eyes, Jesus was magnificent because he cried, loved, felt sad and happy, angry, bitter and all he said was governed by emotions.  He captured every moment, every narrative, every experience and interpreted it with feelings - fascinating indeed.

Yes, Jesus was emotive and understood feelings so well and knew how to live and transmit them. 

He was a person of immense intensity.  I am captivated by people who manage to express themselves so well, people who draw energy from the emotions they manage to dig up for themselves.

Jesus was also a 'warrior', well more of a 'semi-warrior' I would say!  He fought with all his might in what he believed in tooth and nail, but not at the cost of hate.  He knew no hate and this is so godly.  He could be trampled on but still manage to get hold of all the bits and pieces and find ways to move on.  I guess he got impatient at times and irritated by what was happening around him, but he stood his ground in terms of what he believes in.  Nonetheless, he would never stand his ground at the cost of letting go of the good within him.  He loved so much it was incredible.  He loved with such intensity that he had enough to spare on those who despised him.  Fascinating, incredibly fascinating. 

This man who was around some 2,000 odd years ago also had this passion to live life to the full.  He had so much fun.  He wanted to enjoy the joys life throws at you.  He gave us a lesson on how good comes out of pleasure, of engaging with people, of talking, of laughing, of being a free spirit.  He drank, he ate, he partied, he laughed, he cried, he lived - and what a lesson in life this is, showing us how lovely life is even when it looks black and bleak.

Another dimension that I love about Jesus is that he was not afraid of the night.  Whilst I personally see the night as daunting, when all thoughts seem to come tumbling down and instead of rest and peace it becomes a mind struggle of what is and what needs to be done.  Instead I imagine Jesus huddled up in a hammock or just resting on his back in awe at the twinkling  of the stars, the reassuring  look of the moon, the sound of the owls as sentinels of his thoughts and the breeze that dresses up all of this  magic.  Jesus was human and so human indeed.  His greatness was not in what he said but in the way he managed to live with intensity every single moment.

I must admit that there is another perspective that excites me about him.

Well, I am a teacher by profession, and even though I have done a couple of things in life in terms of career, I still feel that what mattered most and still does is my love to share knowledge, to entice people to think and reflect.  Jesus is someone I admire so much in this respect. 

His pedagogy was  based on listening to what people think and then articulating his thoughts by lining up a metaphor, a story to make the pill easier to swallow.  He was a teacher of incredible sensitivity.  He was not about telling others what to do and how to live but trying to give an interpretation of what they said and did.  He was sensitive and wanted to share the direction they gave to life. The exciting dimension of this man was that he wanted people to 'listen' to their guts. 

This is the Jesus who inspires me. 

Years ago, I spent time reading about him and finding it hard to make him true.  Once I stopped trying 'to make him' I understood his greatness - his was not a fixation with 'doing good' but 'in being good'. 

Jesus is about life and not death or suffering.  We were so brought up in fear and morbidity that made it increasingly difficult to capture the beauty of this man.  Jesus is only seen as dead, beaten up or coming out of a torture chamber. 

But that is not the Jesus that stands out in my mind. 

Jesus is a lesson in life, a man governed by emotions, impulses and instincts.  Jesus was a good listener but also wants to be listened to, comforts but wants to be comforted, touches to heal but wants to be touched.  Jesus is not far away. 

I know one or two persons close to me who would fit the bill. Jesus is still alive in the people we might be engaging with day-in day-out, people we share and talk and live a story of happiness and emotions with - it is there that Jesus lies.

And how opportune Chris de Burgh’s lyrics from his song, 'Already there' are;

'Waking up to another great day and I say, nothing seems to change round here, Surely there is more to life than dreaming, hoping, Now I want to make those dreams come true.’

Jesus helped me realise that life is more than dreams - Jesus wants us to live in serenity with ourselves and those around us. If only the Church would let go of its moral high ground and lift the veil off this gentleman.