Simon Mercieca's blog, about the problems faced when one person holds multiple offices, reminded me of the Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera The Mikado, set in Tipitu, a fictional town in Japan. 

Ko-Ko wants the Tipitu City Treasury to pay for his wedding celebrations so he goes and seeks advice from Pooh-Bah, the holder of multiple Offices. Pooh-Bah is happy to oblige, but first he needs to know from what Office he is to give the advice: 

Pooh-Bah: Certainly. In which of my capacities? As First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chamberlain, Attorney-General, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Secretary?

Ko-Ko: Suppose we say as Private Secretary.

Pooh-Bah: Speaking as your Private Secretary, I should say that as the city will have to pay for it, don't stint yourself, do it well.

Ko-Ko: Exactly! As the city will have to pay for it. That is your advice.

Pooh-Bah: That's as Private Secretary. Of course you will understand that, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, I am bound to see that due economy is observed.

Ko-Ko: Oh! But you said just now "don't stint yourself, do it well,"

Pooh- Bah: As Private Secretary.

Ko-Ko: And now you say that due economy must be observed.

Pooh-Bah: As Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Ko-Ko: I see. Come over here, where the Chancellor can't hear us. (They cross the stage.) Now, as my Solicitor, how do you advise me to deal with this difficulty?

Pooh-Bah: Oh, as your Solicitor, I should have no hesitation in saying "chance it".

Ko-Ko: Thank you! I will.

Pooh-Bah: If it were not that, as Lord Chief Justice, I am bound to see that the law isn't violated.

Ko-Ko: I see. Come over here, where the Chief Justice can't hear us. (They cross the stage.) Now, then, as First Lord of the Treasury?

Pooh-Bah: Of course, as First Lord of the Treasury, I could propose a special vote that would cover all expenses, if it were not that, as Leader of the Opposition, it would be my duty to resist it, tooth and nail. Or, as Pay Master-General, I could so cook the accounts that, as Lord High Auditor, I should never discover the fraud. But then, as Archbishop of Titipu, it would be my duty to denounce my dishonesty and give myself into my own custody as First Commissioner of Police.

Ko-Ko: That's extremely awkward.

Pooh-Bah: I don't say that all these distinguished people couldn't be squared; but it is right to tell you that they wouldn't be sufficiently degraded in their own estimation unless they are insulted with a very considerable bribe.

 

It has to be pointed out of course that this all took place a hundred years ago, in a fictionalised town in Japan, so any similarity with the current situation in Malta must be an illusion.

 

Martin Spillane

Sliema