Detraction, or the sin of revealing another person’s faults to other people without an appropriate reason, is grave indeed. One may argue, “I am not accusing anyone falsely! I am saying the truth”. But is there a need to say something which is true when there is no grave reason for doing so?
In the interesting entry of 16 April 1903 of Saint John XXIII autobiography, Journal of a soul, we read the following: “My relations with my neighbours will be really sanctified when I learn to control my tongue. With this in mind, I must be more prudent and never allow myself for any reason to be induced to talk of my companions or of others with even the slightest sign of disapproval. During the day, there are innumerable occasions for me to discipline myself in this matter. I will use them to raise my mind to God and humble myself profoundly. After all, I really must persuade myself that my fellows are always superior to me, and that they are therefore worthy of the greatest respect. O good Jesus, ‘set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips’ (Cf. Psalm 140(141): 3)”.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church has some very down-to-earth teaching concerning detraction. Keeping in mind that “respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury” (nro. 2477), the Catechism says that one is guilty of detraction when “without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them” (nro. 2477). Then, in the following entry, number 2478, the Catechism give powerful advice on how to avoid rash judgment in order to “be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbour’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favourable way” (nro. 2478):
“Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favourable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved” (nro. 2478).
Completely conscious of how detraction can destroy the honour of one’s neighbour, the Desert Fathers’ tradition gives us plenty of stories to help us avoid, at all costs, this terrible sin which, above all, destroys the one who does it!
A brother questioned Abba Hierax saying, “Give me a word. How can I be saved?” The old man told him, “Sit in your cell, and if you are hungry, eat, if you are thirsty, drink; only do not speak evil of anyone, and you will be saved.” One of the great spiritual concerns of the Desert Fathers has been on how to attain true peace. Thus, Abba Joseph asked Abba Nisteros, “What should I do about my tongue, for I cannot control it?” The old man asked him, “When you speak, do you find peace?” He replied, “No.” The old man advised him, “If you do not find peace, why do you speak? Be silent, and when a conversation takes place, prefer to listen rather than to talk.” On another occasion, Abba Sisois gave the following advice to a brother who asked the same question regarding the guarding of the heart: “How can we guard the heart if our tongue leaves the door of the fortress open?”
The Archimandrite Ephraim of Philotheou (commonly known as Elder Ephraim), the former Abbot of Philotheou Monastery on Mount Athos, was the spiritual guide of several monasteries in Greece, and the founder of several monasteries in the United States. He gave the following spiritual on how to guard out tongue: “My child, do not speak unnecessary words, for these chill your soul’s divine zeal. Love silence, which gives birth to all virtues and fences in the soul so that the evil of the devil does not touch her.”
Fr Mario Attard OFM Cap