Across the EU, only one-sixth of all households are composed of three people or more. Those with more than four are rare, those with five account for fewer than 4.5 per cent and those with six or more for less than two per cent.

In the UK, over half of all parents have decided to stop at one child, and most other EU countries are not far off. In the USA, 20 per cent of families only have one child and in some places, like Seattle, half of all households with children are one-child families. Similarly, Australian family statistics are reflected by the Maltese population there, with two-thirds of those with children mostly comprised of one-child-families.

These are the figures, but what lies behind them? Why, in today's world, are women, couples and families choosing to have the number of children they have? First has asked around and, not surprisingly, the reasons and answers for having one or more children were as diverse as each family. While some of the answers - such as age, fertility issues and financial restraints - were to be expected, others left us astonished or amused.

 

Age

The average woman in Malta gives birth at the age of just under 27 and yet overall in the western world, most are choosing to have babies much later in life. Laura did not think she wanted children but "when I hit 36, everything changed." Not surprisingly, many mothers we spoke to simply "ran out of time" to have more than one. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, such as 43-year-old Anna who is trying for her fifth. "I have had four children in four years," she said, "so my body needs to work hard. Children are an incredible gift and we had no idea how much happiness they could bring."

However, most mums over 40 felt exhausted enough and "over sleepless nights" like Mala: "Maybe if I'd started in my 20s I'd be open to having three or four, but definitely not now. I'm too old for sleepless nights, plus I love having a boy and a girl."

 

Fertility and Health Issues

Others lacked a suitable partner until it was too late, or are struggling with infertility, even if one child was conceived naturally or through IVF. Those who chose to adopt seemed to either be waiting for another opportunity or, due to the long, tedious, expensive and complex adoption process, have contented themselves with just one.

Che's decision - she has Type 1 diabetes - was based on different health issues: "I had Max when I was 33. I was told as a child in the 1980s that, in most cases, diabetics were unable to have children. My first pregnancy was very easy and we decided to go for a second. Joshua took a lot longer to come along than expected and, due to diabetes, my pregnancy with him was nearly fatal for me a couple of times. Under these circumstances, I would never ever have a third - a miracles, money and time reversal excepted."

 

One is enough

An increasing number of families consciously chose to only have one child. A sociologist from Kent University explains: "It fulfils parents' need to carry on the bloodline without having to make as much commitment."

My friend Sally was craving to have children until finally, at the age of 39, her partner and her fertility aligned to make it possible. Whilst she had wanted more than one, four years of sleepless nights and a highly demanding child later, she is now content as is. There's probably "no greater shock to the system than going from zero to one."

The infant and toddler years can affect mental health and relationships in many ways. Thus, whilst opinions along the lines of "wanting to go out at night and have my relationship with my partner back" might sound selfish or short-sighted, looking at an average of 70 per cent divorce rate in western countries, they are valid points.

Unenjoyable pregnancies or traumatic birth experiences can also keep women from having another child. Moreover, working women often find it hard to not only juggle pregnancy and the expectations of their jobs, but also to find a healthy balance between family, career and the rest of lives.

Some, like Clive who is father to a one-year-old, want their child to have their undivided attention and cannot imagine coming up with enough extra love, time and financial means for another one. And whilst almost everyone who has more than one swears by the fact that love multiplies the more you have and give, finances certainly don't. They are increasingly a decisive factor in family planning. Amy, who is 29, resolved to wait several more years before trying for a sibling for her one-year-old: "I'd like to see our bank account grow before.

 

Two is perfect

Two is the statistical number of children needed to sustain a population, and for many couples this represents the ideal number - even more so if it comes in the form of one of each gender. Bianca, who is 44 and mother to a 10 and a 13-year-old, clarifies: "Two felt neat and we could provide them opportunities that may have been harder if we'd had more. Also, I was keen to get back to my career and other interests." Monica stopped at two "Because paying private school fees for three would be impossible."

Many parents of two or more felt very strongly about the benefits of having a sibling. Tom's main reason for having a second was that "the first needs to learn to share and not be self-centred." Gia, who has five siblings herself and has lived in South Africa, Australia and now Malta with her primary school-aged children, read the book Celestine Prophecy when she was 18: "It said 'two children, one for each hand, one for each parent'! It made perfect sense to me! My husband only wanted one child. Thanks to a five-year age-gap, we have two and are so happy!"

BJ, with family overseas and little extra support, seems to have plenty of reasons to go with two: "As a neighbour with three once pointed out to me, when you have that third child, you switch from Man-to-Man to Zone-defence.

Carly only wanted two and their third was "an accident, plain and simple, but I wouldn't change things for the world."

 

The more the merrier

Our neighbour desperately wanted a girl following her two boys - and ended up with a set of male twins. An old school friend from a family of four, who recently moved from Zurich to London, also ended up with four boys. Whilst both have stopped trying for a girl, Brittany - who lives on a boat in the Caribbean and unexpectedly found her second pregnancy to be a twin one - might go for a fourth to "enjoy one baby, as with the twins it was pure survival."

Others find themselves in the increasingly common structures of patch-work families. Then, despite only having one child, they nevertheless end up with numerous family - or at least every other weekend or so. Grandpa Ian says he had four children "because it took a while to work out what was causing them."

Whilst I've heard a scarce few say that the shift to being out-numbered has broken the family balance, personally moving from two to three hasn't made much of a difference. I would go for another one as I somewhat paradoxically find grounding and sustained happiness in the chaos of family life, along the lines of "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Mariana, who is also mother to three under six, feels similar: "My heart and hormones say 'don't stop'! My head and finances say: Don't even think about it." While in Mariana's case her husband made a final decision with a vasectomy the day after their third child was born, what's keeping me from a fourth is the thought of global over-population.

In a world where our planet's equilibrium and resources are being challenged and stretched to the maximum, arguably having fewer children is better for the good of everyone. Having said that, this is a very personal, multi-faceted choice and, with as many reasons as families, there shouldn't be any judgment either way. After all, even in the age of abundant birth-control options, there still remains a sparkle of Divine intervention in the process of pregnancy, birth and beyond.