How would you explain the word 'gender'?
Reb: Normally, when we have workshops, you find some people still don't know the difference between 'sex' and 'gender'. How we usually explain it is that 'sex' is what people tend to see as genitals, maybe something that has been put on your birth certificate, even though nowadays your parents can choose not to write down your gender. 'Gender' is something that you identify with, that you see yourself as. Sex is biological whilst gender is more of a social construct and psychological.
How would you explain what gender non-conforming means?
Mina:When you fit into something you are conforming to something. In my case I feel that I don't manage to fit neatly in a gender box that is labeled 'woman' and I don't feel like I can neatly fit into a gender box that is labeled 'man'. In many ways, I think that many people are the same way. 'Society', the media, advertisements, schools enforce stereotypes that tell 'men' and 'women' (and 'boys' and 'girls') how we are supposed to act and who we are supposed to be according to the gender we were labeled at birth. The norm in society is that there are only two genders, and that a person can only be a man or a woman. That is the concept of the gender binary, so when we talk about gender non-binary we recognise that there are more than two genders, and that people are identifying in ways that go beyond the normalised man/woman binary.
Are the terms gender non-binary, gender non-conforming and genderqueer the same thing?
Mina: This probably depends on who you ask, as to different people they mean different things, in the same way as identifying as a 'man' and 'woman' may have different meanings for people. Some are starting to use 'gender non-binary' as an umbrella term for anyone who does not identify as a binary gender, that is male or female, and is identifying as gender non-binary or gender non-conforming or gender queer or gender fluid. In this case the term 'non-binary' is being used to refer to all those who do not fit into one of those two boxes, and we are adding more boxes, or no boxes, as it is.
However, I think that for many people, the three terms are different. It depends on how you feel and what makes most sense to you. When I heard the word 'gender non-conforming' that fit for me, and I said "yes that is who I am."
Reb: I identify with 'non-binary' because I believe that people do tend to see the world in a binary view, and not necessarily only related to gender. It's always black or white, tea or coffee. Even when you're born, it's blue or pink, to see if it's a boy or a girl, society gives these norms and rules to a person the second they come into the world, which they have to abide to, and these stereotypes keep following us throughout our lives. But in reality, you can be assigned female at birth, identify as non-binary and still be attracted to males. Sexual orientation is fluid and gender identity is fluid as well.
Does not feeling like you have to conform feel liberating?
Mina: Yes. I feel more myself. I used to try so hard, so hard, to fit in and ask how can I, as a woman (back then), fit in with the others. How can I make it obvious that I am also a woman? But it was so uncomfortable. I felt like I was playing a part and not being me.By identifying as gender non-conforming I am accepting that I do not conform to society's expectations of both genders, I am neither of them. Gender is absolutely a modern social construct. You can look towards so many cultures and realize that the way that many understand gender is not linked to what our bodies tell us.
Why are measures such as introducing gender neutral toilets or removing gendered words from the legislation important?
Reb: The opposing question to that is, 'why are they there in the first place?' Why do we need to segregate men and women to go to the bathroom or to try on clothes? Why does gender need to be present on ID cards or passports, or when getting married? At the end of the day these are just people going on with their daily life.
On the other hand, people want labels and something to identify with. Maybe that is why the x marker was introduced, to identify with something as well as recognize this community of people, and maybe by having that marker people will ask questions and try to get more information. Hopefully they will ask questions such as 'what is this x?' 'what does it represent?' and 'why do you have it?'
Mina: Having neutral terms recognizes as many people as possible. Having neutral terms is not only there for people who identify as non-binary, but it's for people who just don't fit into these exact norms, it's an easy solution, which encompasses everyone. Why should we have things which leave people out?
When it comes to bathrooms, sometimes when I go into a woman's bathroom I'm asked to leave. That would not happen if a toilet were for everyone. It's just a toilet.. Public spaces are sometimes difficult to be in when you don't fit what society expects you to fit. When we, or anyone who doesn't fit society's expectations of gender enters a bathroom; a masculine woman, or a feminine man, a gender non-conforming person, or a transgender individual, it can be dangerous for us. We just want it to be safe.
How did you parents and friends take it? Did they understand?
Reb: My mother seemed confused after I explained it to her, but she just asked me whether I am happy and I said "yes" and she was ok with it. Throughout time, I started mentioning things which I like and do not like, such as pronoun use. In fact nowadays my mum doesn't call me 'daughter' but 'kid' and my siblings actually call me 'sib'. So yes, the Gozitan culture I come from is quite conservative, especially compared to other cultures in Europe, but I do believe that the Maltese people are also very nice and our Mediterranean culture makes us very friendly, so with education and if we inform in the right way, without trying to impose, but rather giving the right information in the right way, I think people would be willing to be more open and inclusive towards people who don't identify with their gender given at birth.
Mina: I agree with Reb, people are more likely to meet you half way if you give them that option. Of course it's not easy for people to understand this. It's easier for me because I've been thinking about it and exploring this idea every day for more than five years, I don't accept someone to get it that easily, and that's ok! Someone who says "it's going to be hard for me to get used to using different pronouns, but I'm happy to try, though it will take time for me to get used to it," is meeting me half way. People who tell me "no this is bullshit, there are only men and women, I'm going to use 'she' to refer to you," that's not meeting me half way, that's putting their own world view first without thinking about others.
Reb: People at work meet me half way, for example, by telling me "if I use the incorrect pronoun to refer to you, correct me." These are people who know that it is not so easy but they want to be inclusive and incorporate this in their everyday language, and that is enough for me, that they are respecting how I identify."
How is the LGBTIQ community in Malta and how do you feel with society here as opposed to abroad?
Mina: I haven't been in Malta for almost two years as I have been living abroad but I come to Malta every few months, more or less, it is different, in Berlin there is a trans and non-binary community, so it is super friendly, so no one asks you what is your 'real' name or what is your 'real' gender, it is just accepted, if you say that is who you are then that is who you are, but in Malta I feel I was not part of a trans community, and I was not surrounded by the same kind of community. But there is an LGBTIQ community here, especially amongst the group of activists.
Reb: Whenever I go to conferences abroad about such topics I feel like it is the safest space, when you come back to Malta it's a bit difficult because you come out of this bubble where everyone respects each other so much where everyone is celebrated for their individuality. At the end of the day I might be non-binary but there are so many different identities within one person, I'm not just non-binary, I'm Gozitan, I'm Maltese, I'm European, I studied psychology, I love music, and everyone has these small identities, this is just one small identity which happens to not fit in the norm of society, and that is why it takes so much priority over your life. I think the community in Malta is still lacking a bit, but I think there is starting to be more awareness, for example even this interview would not have been done five years ago, so I think the interest is there and the community could be following after that, so there is hope.
What about language use? Gender non-conformity means changing the language we use, what advice would you give people to make our society more of a gender neutral place when it comes to things like language, such as pronouns?
Mina: I think language is the last thing that is going to change. It is very easy to speak in gender neutral terms in English but we are in Malta, where Maltese is not gender neutral. My family also speaks Italian, a language which is not gender neutral, and I am living and speaking in German which is also not gender neutral. But language changes so much, and new words enter our language all the time. So I think we should be open for new words to enter Maltese and new ways to use Maltese. In Italian and Spanish as written languages, they are changing the way they are written to be more inclusive, such as the word endings changing, in Italian we would use '@' to change the ending of the word so it won't have a gender. An @ looks like both an 'a' and an 'o' so you are referring to something as neither masculine nor feminine. But then how do you pronounce that? And that what is next to change, communities are changing the way they speak, in Maltese people use the plural form to relate to things which are gender neutral, so I would not say 'taghha' I would say 'taghhom'.
Reb: I have friends who tell me it is weird to call me 'taghhom' in Maltese. Yes, it is weird because we have not been taught that way. A friend of mine found it very strange to use in the beginning but by now it has become really natural for him, when people tell me it is difficult to call you 'they', I tell them 'imagine how difficult it is for me to be misgendered every day'. People might argue that we are losing the language, but I would say that we are actually adapting it, to present-day life, life is changing and Maltese is gendered, 'flixkun' is male, 'sodda' is female.. But does it make a difference? Is a bed really a female?
The word for gender in the Maltese language, 'generu' has been introduced recently. Is it being used?
Mina : Language evolves, and I have noticed that people are already starting to use the word 'ġeneru', I think the Maltese language will evolve and the word 'ġeneru' will enter speech more locally in our day-to-day conversations as well.
What is the way forward for Malta?
Reb: I think the law is doing a great job, we are one of the best in Europe, it recognizes people, makes people feel safe, gives me recognition to be myself by law. I think now we should be focusing on education and information. Maybe we should also stop saying education and start saying information because we do not want people to feel like they need to be educated about a subject, but rather they are given information about something that they have not heard of or maybe that they heard of but are not sure what the right information is.
How can this information be given?
Reb: for example teaching teachers during their courses, to have a more inclusive language in the classroom and to be aware of different gender identities and sexual orientations. If we are going to have sex education classes, lets include every sexual orientation and every gender identity. If we are going to build new establishments let us have gender neutral bathrooms in there. If there is going to be an official document by an agency or organization, let us have gender neutral pronouns in it. It is not about special rights, it is about including everyone, in everyday life situations.
Mina, do you have anything to add for the way forward?
Mina: Now that some laws are in place, it helps into build a community that can support each other and ask for more policy changes in healthcare, and more societal change in general. In other countries this happened the other way around; a group of people who were angry and came together to campaign for a change in laws, to be accepted. In Malta the (gender identity, gender expression, sex characteristics) law appeared before the trans community had strategically organised to advocate for legal change.
Exposure to information will also make people who are not comfortable as their assigned gender realize what is comfortable to them and what suits them, and more people will start to explore their gender and reach out to others.
Timeline:
April 2014: gender identity recognized as a protected ground in the constitution
April 2015: the Gender Identity, Gender Expression and Sexual Characteristics act is passed unanimously in Parliament. It gives trans people the possibility to change their gender marker on official documents with no need to undergo surgery.
December 2016: Act passed to depathologise trans identities and ban conversion therapies (trans identities no longer considered as a mental illness and conversion therapies banned)
September 2017: third gender marker 'X' introduced
Glossary:
Transgender: People whose gender identity or gender expression is different from the sex they were assigned with at birth.
Trans rights: The rights of transgender people.
Gender neutral: No or little connection to the traditional system of gender.
Gender Binary: The classifying of sex and gender into two distinct forms of masculine and feminine
Gender non-conforming: Denoting or relating to a person whose behaviour or appearance does not conform to prevailing cultural and social expectations about what is appropriate to their gender.
Gender queer: A person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of the male and female genders.
Gender fluid: Relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender.
Social construct: A social category or phenomena created and developed by society
X-marker: An 'X' to mark your gender as opposed to an 'm' or 'f'
LGBTIQ: Acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Questioning.