Some months ago, whilst visiting the Albertina Museum in Vienna and admiring Munch's art, I came across a quote by Fyodor Dostoyevsky which I must say felt so relevant to my life right now.

"In spite of all losses, I love life passionately,

I love life for the sake of life. And I am still

only beginning my life. I will soon be

fifty years old and still cannot decide:

am I drawing to the end of my life or just

starting it. This is the most important trait of

my character; perhaps also the most

important trait of what I do."

One of the most influential books I have ever read is the one by psychoanalyst Daniel Levenson entitled Seasons of a Man's Life. Levenson strongly portrays man as going through seasons in his life which usually correspond to life stages. The above quote, together with Munch's genius in portraying human emotions, just set me thinking, that morning in Vienna.

Life's events always happen for a reason and one's biggest mistake is to look at the train of life passing by and, while commiserating with oneself, missing the chance to jump on the last wagon. Most readers are aware that circa two years ago, I started a new beginning after 12 years in public life and 11 years as a Member of Parliament. I will not delve into the why. I write this article because I know that, like me, so many people go through life experiencing events and losses that require one to move on. Moving on is not always easy, especially when the loss is unexpected and when one has dedicated a substantial amount of time and energy to working hard to achieve a goal or has spent a good number of years with a loved one who suddenly is there no more. Loss is also something very subjective, and no amount of theoretical knowledge can ever capture one's loss. This is where art plays a role, and artists like Munch help one look at a work of art and feel the artist so empathically understanding him/her.

Dostoyevski made me remember that I should always start all over again - launching myself in new projects as if I live in a timeless zone. I actually immediately went down memory lane to some 20 years ago when, during my residency training in psychiatry, a colleague - an American plastic surgeon aged 50 - joined the Yale Psychiatry Programme to specialise in psychiatry. He had developed rheumatoid arthritis and could therefore not work as a plastic surgeon anymore. Rather than crying over his misfortune, he changed his MD specialisation into one that is so far removed and yet so close to plastic surgery. 

In the season of my life right now, I am still young enough to focus on things I have always wanted to develop in my professional career and to do innovative things I never dreamed of doing. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine, for example, that I would be learning Thai Chi or participating in half-marathons abroad. And yet here I am - already two years after resigning my Parliamentary seat - and doing both these things and, better still, with my beloved wife who has stood by me, come rain or shine, for the past 27 years. Together, we have also started planning how to substantially improve our professional careers for the sake of the patients with whom we both love working so dearly. Like an American friend of mine recently said to me: "While I am sorry to hear the turn of events, the loss to the public will be a gain to the people."

This will, therefore, be my next season, a season that already makes me feel so young, so free. It is giving me the same enthusiasm that I had back in 1994 when I left Malta with my family (my wife and two daughters, aged 20 months and four months respectively) for our adventure in the USA - an adventure, I must say, that remains the most beautiful period of my life. It was an experience of real meritocracy, ideal medical politics, of people and families interested in their development and not focused on envy.

I felt I needed to share this and dedicate this article to all those who, like my family and me, have gone through a loss and need to move on. The train of life is moving; the last wagon could soon be passing by. Unfortunately, no one knows when this last wagon will pass, so the best bet is to jump on the moving train and launch oneself into a new adventure. Whatever it is, it is definitely not worth commiserating oneself over while the train is moving. No one will pity you and it is not worth pitying yourself.

Ruminating on the past and asking 'why me?' is not helpful either. It will just have you wasting so much time delving into past events that are gone and cannot be changed. Living today is what is essential, and today is asking you to be innovative, young at heart and certain that your dream can come true. Give me your hand and let us jump together on to the moving train of life. If someone has hurt you, don't waste time trying to find earthly justice: it may never come. As for me, I recently met a notary public and, in the presence of reliable witnesses, showed him tangible proof that everything that was written about me - resulting in my resignation as an MP two years ago - was untrue. Anyone who wanted to believe me already did, when I gave my last speech in parliament. Anyone who chose to hurt me, and not believe me, will continue justifying his deeds. Remember, however, that at the last train station, anyone who ever hurt you will meet the ticket master.