They cannot be anything else. They are jokes, probably invented at a dull moment in Castile to liven things up, to distract the electorate from weightier issues such as transparency and governance, to keep the people engaged in futile controversies and spend time on such trifling issues.

Let me begin with the greatest one of them: that this is Joseph Muscat's last term and that he will be out before the next election. Of course it's his life and he is free to do anything with it. And being top of the heap in a small country is pretty depressing most of the time.

So it's very tempting to up anchor and leave after two terms, especially because problems tend to emerge only after two terms. The economy, which has been on a growth trend, will then flatten and may even turn down and problems - structural problems - begin to emerge. No leader would want to be associated with that or faced with depressing figures.

Maybe too, he is aiming - as is repeatedly leaked to the favourable media - at some post in Brussels, although I very seriously doubt this, given his track record these past years. Or else he is looking at some consultancy post in Brussels, which is more feasible.

Or maybe it's all a joke and he does not intend to leave but enjoys himself seeing all these wannabe candidates plot their way and spin against each other while professing total loyalty to the Party.

I still think it's no joke and he does intend to hang up his boots and leave because after two terms the cracks in the building he constructed will start to show and he would not want to be around when this happens.

Take the roads, for instance. When - after seven years and €700 million - we find the roads are still as bad (OK, maybe smoother and wider) as we have today and we realise we got it all wrong.

Or after having let in all those thousands of non-Maltese workers we realise we have a new proletarian class putting more pressure on the already over-extended health services and raising more pressure on the rental market while the Maltese proletariat, supposedly the raison d'être of the Labour Party, will continue to struggle with minimum wages that do not grow and a prohibitive cost of living.

But power is addictive and not easy to shed. You get supporters hanging on to your coat tails and even candidates to succeed you imploring you not to go.

Muscat comes up with all sorts of jokes. I have already referred in passing to such a joke - that we will not get our pensions unless we allow any number of foreigners in. And that only a small part of Malta, the flat land between Sliema and Valletta, can have a Metro, but that would be so expensive that we would have to raise taxes to pay for it.

Then there is that big joke that is the Malta-Gozo tunnel. Muscat has already decided in its favour when there is a huge series of questions and doubts that have to be faced first and when the physical and financial issues have to be analysed more deeply, including the impact of the tunnel on Gozo's already over-stretched roads and on the ecology of its two entrances. But, I forget: Muscat will be long gone when the tunnel is finished.

Not satisfied with these jokes, Muscat and his clan have come up with others. Muscat speculated with limiting the term of MPs and - of course - Prime Ministers, as if you can legislate on these matters. Then he came up with the idea of positive discrimination and adding the number of women in the House. We know that the percentage of women MPs is low by any standard and that there is positive discrimination is some sectors. But this positive discrimination interferes with the right of any voter to elect who he wants and not to accept an MP who would be elected due to her sex rather than her eligibility for office.

We already have a bloated Parliament and a Maltese MP represents the lowest number of voters in Europe, I believe, and yet our electoral system works against small parties. But, of course, Muscat did not propose fixing this anomaly. Ticking the boxes on the inequality questionnaire looks good on paper and we shoot up the equality stakes in no time at all.

 So let us rise to the occasion and wallow in the debates conveniently sparked by the Prime Minister and forget the huge issues of governance and the rule of law that is turning Malta into the pariah of Europe and drawing upon our heads the regulatory tightening of screws that is slowly but inexorably coming our way. But I forget, Muscat will not be here when that happens.

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