Apologies to Roy Keane for jinxing his move to Real Madrid.

No sooner have I put pen to paper saying how surprised, yet happy, I am that such a big club wants him, then he puts pen to paper and signs for Celtic.

That’s no disrespect to Celtic of course. In Scottish terms they are a huge club. But in a European context they have to be viewed as minnows.

It is understandable in a way that Roy would fancy a move to the club he supported as a boy in Ireland. It’s just about every schoolboy’s dream to one day play for the team you love.

But the move means that instead of pitting his not inconsiderable footballing wits against the likes of Barcelona for the next 18 months, he will now be turning out against Kilmarnock and Aberdeen.

Like it or not the move is a step down for a player who achieved just about everything there was to achieve in the English game. He will now see out his playing days in a league that lacks anything even remotely resembling real competition.

And that, somehow, seems like a bit of a waste.

English cricket team

It seems like only yesterday everybody was singing the praises of the English cricket team.

A triumphant summer in which they regained the Ashes left everybody purring about what a fantastic new dawn this was for the English game.

Flintoff, Pietersen, Vaughn and the rest of the team were hailed as heroes who had restored pride to nation which invented the game but had certainly lost its way in recent years.

But the summer of joyful success has been followed by a winter of considerable woe.

On Thursday they lost the third one-day international against Pakistan by a record margin of 165 runs, England’s heaviest ever defeat.

Added to the 2-0 test-series defeat, and the whole atmosphere starts to feel frostier than a snowman’s bottom.

Yet, where you would expect the English media to turn on their rapidly falling stars, it seems the summer’s heroics have bought them time rarely afforded to English sportsmen and women.

Instead of slamming them for capitulating so pathetically in Pakistan they have been playing up the fact that none of the players really wants to be so far away from home so near to Christmas.

Well. Maybe I am a little bit old fashioned but surely playing for your country is worth a little hardship. It’s not as if they have been living in tents and eating dry bread while in Karachi.

I admit it is never easy being separated from loved ones over the festive season, but representing your nation should be adequate compensation for missing a little bit of Christmas shopping.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of young men back in England who would gladly give up their holidays for the chance of pulling on any kit with the three lions on it.

So, if the Ashes heroes didn’t fancy this trip maybe the selectors should have looked further afield and found a few lads who did.

Sure, they would have been absolutely slaughtered. But at least they would have worn the shirts with pride.

Crouch update

Crouch update time and sadly this could be the last in the series.

Not only has the lanky centre forward completely let us down by scoring another two goals for Liverpool in the World Club Championship, but the first one from the Wigan game has been awarded to him – despite being the biggest deflection in the history of football.

That brings Crouch’s total up to four in three games which is just not on. I mean, who are we supposed to take the mickey out of now in terms of being useless in front of goal?

Andy Cole is always an option I suppose but it’s even hard poking fun at him this season with his seven goals in 13 games and numerous assists.

Diego Forlan is long gone and even James Beattie has found the net a couple of times.

That means, ladies and gentlemen, that nominations are now open. Let me know who you think is deserving of the title of worst striker in the Premiership and why.

I will let you know the results.

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