The welfare safety net in our country is something we should be proud of, and I suppose most of us are.  Whilst we can argue till we turn blue in the face that we need additional resources to keep oiling the diverse needs of our communities and the vulnerable members in society, I still think that by and large we are doing well. Admittedly some do slip through the net and so we need to keep tightening and improving the structures to provide the required solutions and guarantee inclusive communities. 

Now even though this isn’t the theme I would like to focus on in this column, I still believe that it is relevant and opportune to mention that there needs to be a bit of re-thinking in the way we do social services. True, it could be that our system is still based too much on ‘providing for’ rather than enticing and encouraging people to kick-start their life and get it back on track and probably this is the mental shift we need to make if we really want to see emancipated and liberated people who are self-determined rather than become more dependent on welfare.

Without any doubt, although our political leaders these last fifty years or so have worked incessantly to ensure our social services packages keep improving, I still think that it was the Church that had the critical role in providing for those in need of support.

One only needs to drive around the country and see the innumerable institutions that prettify our towns and villages, most of which provided, some still do, for those who need most. We may criticize the Church for what it has not carried out and some of its actions and behaviors were deplorable no doubt about that, but in terms of trying to help the vulnerable so much has been executed and they have walked the talk. Whether it was the elderly, children, irregular immigrants, prisoners, persons with disability or others, the Church did try to forge change.

Then again those programs and services that did not upgrade are dying a natural death and this in my opinion  is unfortunate not only for the reason that in the majority of cases the services offered were adequate and of good quality but because the identity of the Church in today’s World depends so much on concrete and tangible social action and letting go of these responsibilities will only bring about a bigger identity crises for the Church.

Now if there was a service that has kept up its pledge steadfast to the cause, I believe that the Ursuline Sisters Congregation remains in pole position! 

Mind you, it doesn’t mean that it is all perfect and that all the children entrusted to them always get the best possible service, because it isn’t the case. I am sure there are loads of things that could have been done better, nuns who might have approached the issues in a more innovative way, resources used more diligently, improved collaboration with the authorities and so on - but all in all most would agree that within these circumstances the Ursuline Sisters have given the children in their care the best possible. 

The thing I admire most about these nuns is that they try to fill in for the most important person in a child’s life, ‘the mother’. 

Now who isn’t proud of their mum? 

We meet so many people as we travel this life journey but mothers remain the most important of them all. We think about them, we try to live by what they tell us and we dredge up the lovely moments that they give us.  When we have kids or nephews of our own we recount to them how our ‘mum’ used to cook this, that and the other, we tell them how ‘mum’ would take care of us when we were still young, in other words, ‘mum, mum, mum’.  How beautiful and intense, how special, how unique.

Now for a moment, can I invite you to put on the shoes of that little 3, 4 or 5 year old boy or girl possibly smaller and think how you would feel, if as a little child, your mum would have deserted you? 

How would it feel that the minute reassuring moments in life would be missing, that mum doesn’t have time to prepare you tea or see your school drawings, hug and caress you, reassure you that even though in life the current seems to flow against you at times, you can see it through?

I really think we take so much for granted in life. 

We don’t seem to realize and appreciate enough the goodness that lies around us, the wealth that is embedded in the people who love us, who stick with us through thick and thin – and mums are at the forefront of all of this. They remain so even when we move into adulthood.  They continue to be an important point of reference, a crucial building block in all we are engaged in. We feel, think and act the way our mummy had thought us to and mum’s words echo in our minds especially when the going gets tough.  We should never let go of that.

Now the greatness of these nuns, in their simplicity, is that they fill in for this pain, for this emptiness, for the void these little kids face having an ‘inapt’ mum.  In my opinion it is terribly wrong to speak about these nuns as if they are replacement parents because they are not.

These nuns give of themselves without being asked to.  They slip into the lives of these children and take their brunt, aggression and anger. They try to fill in for the emptiness, bareness, meaninglessness and worthlessness children have to struggle with. 

Some of these children in their tender age and supposedly years of innocence would have experienced harms and troubles it would take some of us a lifetime to come to realize they exist, let alone go through. These are children who have seen their parents struggle with health and dire social conditions, children who have been abused sexually, physically or mentally and children denied the basic acts of love and comfort. Even thinking about it breaks my heart let alone seeing it happen to children.

These nuns with their imperfections, peculiarities and foible attitudes come marching in.  With passion and fortitude they attempt to light a candle in this darkness to show there is a staying power, to rekindle in the children positive vibes and fantasies and a sense of resilience and hope that at the end of this trail of pain lies a better World. 

Children come in and out of the life of these nuns and these women hardly complain you know. That doesn’t mean they do not suffer because the slit in life is not in letting go of what is inconvenient for you but what moulds you and gives you purpose. 

We take these nuns for granted, as I myself have done, not realizing that being a nun does not mean you have some switch embedded in your heart that has an ‘on and off’ button that governs emotions. Wrong. These nuns suffer. They face bereavement every time a child moves on.

Imagine what this does to you if it happens once, giving back hope to a child, providing for him or her, filling in for the fears, the horrors and the nightmares and than having to let go. Now picture doing this not once, not twice, not three times but multiply that again and again.  What is left in the soul of these nuns is a mystery to me.  How they don’t crush and collapse is an unknown. 

As the lyric go of the song 'Love and let go' of the Ekklesia Sisters (Malta Eurovision Song Contest) 

Because it’s all about the children it’s not about us…

We love and let go…

Walking on a tight rope pleading for hope…

At the end of the day they walk away…

Time to say goodbye…