When someone is trying to harm, harass or insult you with the use of information technology- it is cyber-bulling.  Cyber-bullies try to convince you that you are a loser, that you will never achieve anything in your life and that nobody loves you. Aggressors choose the most harmful of tactics, including humiliation and persecution, to harm you and destroy your self confidence.

Such aggressors use instant messaging services, e-mail and the social media to carry out their harassment, which could take the form of baseless gossip or spreading embarrassing photos or videos of the victim in trying to create an illusion that they are controlling your life.

Cyber-bulling is no new phenomenon, but it is a modern reality. Your friends, family and even you can become a victim - because if you use the internet, people can easily follow your life. Basically, by creating social network pages, you almost invite them to see how you are doing and what is happening in your life.

In contemporary society, we often encounter the problem of privacy.  When something has been transferred to the internet, it will stay there forever and even deleting information you have uploaded will not help you to completely hide something that already has been posted. If you have a smartphone, your location services are most probably switched on by default and people you are chatting with will know where you are. Sometimes people make a "check in" (when people confirm their presence in one place or another) out of their own will. But have you ever thought that someone might be spying on you?

According to Dr Martyn Wild, one of the world's leading e-learning experts and a cyber safety advocate, "Cyber-bullying is poised to turn into the biggest online concern, already affecting up to 35% of all children."

The huge problem is that people (mostly children and teenagers) are scared or ashamed to ask someone for help once the bullying starts. Instead they start using drugs, alcohol, their grades at school deteriorate and their self-esteem plummets.  As such, it is important to look out for your loved ones - analyze and compare and contrast their regular, daily behaviour with their current comportment.

Parents have to be able to help their children with cyber-bulling. Children need to feel they have an atmosphere of trust and respect in their family, and not be scared to tell their family what is going on with them. It is important to talk, and don't forget that children are more susceptible to become victims because, for them, bullying is far more harmful to them than for adults.

Victims of cyber-bulling often appear depressed, sometimes aggressive and at times quieter than usual.  Look out for these signs and if seen, ask if everything is okay.

Facebook has a function where abusers can be reported, but sometimes it goes over and above Facebook messages and you feel that you will not manage to stop it by yourself. At this stage you have to report the abuse to the police and provide some proof of the cyber-bulling that has taken place (such as showing the messages, pictures, photos or your conversations with your abusers).

You have to be aware every time you are posting something on social media websites because only you are responsible for your uploaded information, which can, at the end of the day, possibly be used against you.

Check your privacy settings: who can see your photos, your personal details like your age, home address. Have you ever posted your secrets online? Who can send you private messages? Many people are not aware that these seemingly little things can become lead to a real life horror story.

 

Marina Grechna