A. Grech has her say:

“I have a 14-year-old daughter and she is not allowed to go to Paceville yet. I agree with R. Frendo that 17 is the right age to start going out, and that a curfew is important.

This situation is also a result of parents who have given in too much. So far I have not given in, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up; the peer pressure is very strong.

I think that when other parents give in, it makes it worse for those of us who wish to keep some discipline. Parents have became too lenient, but there is a limit because once one parent gives in, children will want to do like their friends.

My daughter’s friends already stay out until 10.30pm. I don’t let her go out every weekend, only occasionally between 3.30pm - 7pm. So far, she accepts it, although she does wants to stay out later.

If I manage at least until she’s 16, she will have finished her O-levels, but parents really need to stick together on this...!”

Another parent, who wishes to remain anonymous, had this to say:

“There is no real age when children should or should not be allowed to go to Paceville. I think that every child is different, and what should really determine whether a child goes or not is the maturity of the child and nothing else. Unfortunately, things are not so straightforward.

I cannot help but feel strongly that Paceville is a bad influence on our youngsters and the longer we can withhold them from going there, the better.

Possibly the best way to do this would be to reach some agreement with the parents of the children’s friends because, otherwise, the problem of peer pressure sets in and it would be impossible to hold a child back if his/her friends go there. It will either result in a child going to Paceville against the parents’ wishes or in that child suddenly having nobody to go out with, at least for a while until there is the possibility of joining another group.

I myself grew up in Paceville when it was still a delightful place to live, and all the children living in the area could play in the streets or go down to the beach together during the summer months, but unfortunately the area has now degenerated into a sleazy, drug and crime-ridden area where establishment owners blatantly ignore the rules and regulations and are more interested in the profits they can make, while youngsters think they, too, can do what they like over there and that they are above the law.

It is also useless having a large number of police officers stationed near the Maltacom offices all smoking and chatting rather than effectively patrolling the streets. It is not surprising to note that a young person can run faster than most police officers, so some improvement in that area would also be a worthwhile investment in the future of Malta’s young people.

It is no secret that the shops in Paceville sell bottles of alcohol even to the very young, well knowing that they are breaking the law. It is no excuse saying that they may think that girls, especially, look older than they really are because they could always request an identity document from locals or foreigners alike.

Cigarettes are also sold to youngsters, even though the law is clear enough. My son, who is well under 18, has never been stopped from purchasing cigarettes. My daughter has, several times, remained with her 13-year-old friend instead of accompanying the rest of her group of friends because the 13-year-old was hopelessly drunk.

Recently, surveillance cameras were installed, but I still have to hear of the first case of an underage person being apprehended or told off for drinking alcohol or smoking in public, or at least if apprehension is not the answer, then being requested to say where they purchased the cigarettes or alcohol from so that the shopkeepers could be charged.

As parents, we are not able to keep our children from going to Paceville because we are being – unintentionally – undermined by Appogg. Even though Appogg does a tremendous amount of good in many fields, especially with cases of child abuse, as soon as I try to discipline my son, he threatens that he will phone 179.

I have no doubt that should a child really get down to making that phone call, then the people at Appogg would probably support us parents in most issues where discipline is concerned, but until the child makes that call (if ever) and is told that a parent is correct, it is, adversely, making our children stronger in their struggle and rebellion against parenting.

Also, no parent wants that call to be made anyway as there are precious few people who would want to air their dirty linen in public – so it is a vicious circle really.

Sometimes I am beginning to think that our parents were right, even though many of us think they were at times much too strict. Nowadays, disciplining a child has become a mammoth task.

In trying to understand our children we are being too lenient and we are giving them too much just because we wish them to be better off than we were.

We are constantly trying to bail them out of trouble rather than allowing them to punish themselves by making them face the consequences of their actions as we ourselves probably have done.

All this is also having an adverse effect on marriages as well, because the minute some sacrifice is required (and it is no secret that marriages succeed only through lots of compromise and sacrifice between the couple) then the young go running back to mummy or daddy to make it better!

If you have faced this situation, tell us how you handled it! You can write a few words and send them by email or post, or phone us on 2134-5888. Preferably we would like you to sign your name, or at least your initials.