BIOGRAPHY
Claire Warrington is a 22-year-old
university graduate who teaches English to foreigners.
She is a regular Internet user and has even designed her own website. She is currently in a relationship.
Do you use the Internet to chat regularly? What programmes do you use and who do you meet?
I use the Internet for everything, really. But yes, I do use it to chat quite a bit. I use MSN and I can confidently say that I use it more than the phone... I hate the phone, so I suppose it only makes sense! Until a few years ago, IRC and ICQ were all the rage, so they probably still are among the younger generations, IRC especially.
Do you meet people you already know or do you make new acquaintances?
MSN is not anything like IRC – the people on your list are the ones you choose to have there. You add them specifically, so most of the people on my contact list are people I know in person. In all honesty, I'm not all that interested in meeting new people online... I do not chat for that purpose. I consider it to be more of a sort of communication medium between my friends and I.
Are you wary of speaking to people you don’t know on the net? Why or why not?
When approached online, that is, when someone has found my contact info through the MSN database, I do speak to him or her. I’m not wary. I just do not give out any important information. Most of the time it turns out to be someone I know through someone else anyway. It is Malta, after all!
Have you ever met someone you got to know on the internet?
Yes I have – on more than one occasion.
What was the meeting like?
It differed according to who the person was. In some cases we met by accident and exchanged the superficial niceties and quickly got moving. The ones I met properly were the ones I thought were worth meeting. It was usually over a drink (in a public place, obviously. I cannot be giving any bad examples!) or at a party, if we both happened to be going.
This can be the case when, as I said, we have mutual friends. We had a chat and in a few cases became proper friends. When I say that I mean girls too... one of my best friends is someone I met over the Internet four years ago, only I now barely remember how and where! In most cases though, it fades away within a few weeks. No big surprise.
Has a relationship ever blossomed? If so, was it more through chatting on the net or meeting up in real life?
This is the question I have been dreading! Yes, this was the case with my current boyfriend. We have not yet decided whether we are proud of it or not!
As for the second question, I am not a very patient person. The longest I spent chatting before meeting someone may have been a week or two. I do not see why, in a country so small, people should spend months chatting before they actually meet up! Get it over and done with and see whether it is worth it, once you have the chance!
Besides, in cases where people have been chatting for a long time (and have never met), it's usually quite a let-down since you’d have already built a mental impression of the person, and more often than not, it does not tally with the actual.
Does the net make dating and socialising easier? Why or why not?
This is quite a heated argument. On the one hand, the net causes people to shy away from society and possibly creates a bunch of hermits. On the other hand, there is no hiding the fact that over the net you can be whoever you want to be – confident, chatty, flirtatious etc. This is because in many cases you are safe in the knowledge that you will probably never meet the person anyway. Then of course there is the problem of people taking “being who you want to be” to the next level and actually becoming someone else.
My conclusion is that it might aid socialising. But dating? Nah.
Do you agree with finding a date or boyfriend through the Internet? If so, how exactly would this happen?
Like I said earlier, I am still not sure if I am glad that I met my boyfriend over the Internet. Having said that, I am definitely glad I met him and in spite of the fact that even before we met, we actually had several mutual friends, we hung out in the same places and all that stuff, but somehow, we never met! I suppose the net was the only way left! How exactly would this happen? Well, I’ve never actually done anything to make it happen. There are most people’s contact details on the MSN database... and some people actually bother going through them!
Every now and then you receive an email from someone who’s come across your details, asking you to add them to your contact list to chat, although I rarely bother reading the emails!
Do you think the net strips some of the fun of getting to know someone in real life or does it add to it? What do you think are the pros and cons?
Meeting someone in real life and meeting someone on the net are rather different ball games. However, whether you are flirting online or flirting in real life, it is still flirting. If you meet on the net, chances are you’ll meet the person soon enough (and continue flirting in person) anyway!
So if I had to decide, I would probably say that meeting someone online adds to the fun, in the sense that it adds that air of mystery to the whole thing, if you know what I mean. Sure, pictures have been exchanged, but how do you know what people are really like until you have actually met them?
As for the pros and cons, like I said, they’re different situations. It probably depends on the person’s opinion more than anything else, but a definite con is that if too much time is spent just chatting, eventual face-to-face communication levels are bound to be weak.
What do you think of these Internet dating sites?
This is probably an unexpected answer coming from me, but I think they are lame. It is one thing to come across someone you like the sound and/or look of and are interested in meeting. But to look for them online is a bit contrived... its like saying “Oh okay, I need a new computer game, I think I will look for one online!”
How essential is chatting on the net to your daily life?
Let us just say that winding down after a day of work for me greatly involves my slumping in front of my pc and chatting away. One must keep in mind, however, that I use MSN instead of the telephone most of the time so it is pretty handy to have around. So yes, in that way it certainly is essential to my daily life because it is an ideal way to stay in touch with many of the friends I do not often get to see, relatives around the globe and the like.
14 15
BIOGRAPHY
Krista Degaetano is 22 and currently teaches English
to foreigners. She is artistic, outgoing and loves all
of the performing arts. She is single.
Do you use the Internet to chat regularly? What programmes do you use and who do you meet?
The Internet is increasingly becoming a highly popular medium to keep in touch in an efficient manner and at minimal costs. I must admit that I have grown to enjoy this form of communicating with my friends, especially considering the computer and I were hardly on hi and bye terms! I generally chat on MSN Messenger whenever I have a free slot. This ends up taking more time then I have allocated and I find myself immersed in more than one conversation at the same time – and enjoying it! I usually converse with friends I have selected as part of my contact list.
Do you meet people you already know or do you make new acquaintances?
On MSN you have two main options when it comes to selecting contacts – you either include them yourself or you are asked to accept a contact if someone has included you on their contact list. Therefore, all the people I meet and talk to are good friends or potentially good ones. The most important thing is that I have consciously selected them and am always aware of new contacts. What is good about MSN is one’s privacy. No unauthorised person is able to contact you through it.
Are you wary of speaking to people you don’t know on the net? Why or why not?
To be honest I do tend to be quite cautious about speaking to people I don’t know over the net and I am rather sceptical. Although at the other end of the network system some other human is sitting facing a screen quite similar to your own and conversing with you, there is absolutely no guarantee that any of the information given is, in fact, true.
You may just decide to have a laugh like most of the people do and go with the flow of Ïbelieving – for a while. But when it comes down to serious business, one may end up planning a date with a 90 year old or having an intimate conversation with a child not having reached puberty yet – not my kind of game.
Have you ever met someone you got to know on the Internet?
There is more to being attracted to someone than just words. Some may argue that the Internet may be the first stepping stone to kind of introduce the couple – getting to know the person better before meeting.
I tend to disagree, since the initial meeting with someone says a lot about the other person’s ulterior motives through non-verbal communication, that is, body language. There is always a reason two people want to meet and for my safety and those around me I find it crucial to know exactly who I am about to get involved with face-to-face and not over a screen.
Some people use a web cam as a more personal first introduction. Apart from the fact that not everyone has one, I like to retain my privacy and not give out too much information about my surroundings. Besides I feel rather silly communicating in that way.
Has a relationship ever blossomed? If so was it more through chatting on the net or meeting up in real life?
As I mentioned previously I tend to be quite sceptical about meeting someone over the net and have never thought of trying it. I have met up with certain people with whom I have regular conversations on MSN on a daily basis and have got to know them a bit better. But I still believe that the “blossoming” of any relationship or friendship cannot function properly over the net.
Meeting the person makes all the difference. You never really break the ice until the first real meeting and after talking for hours over a couple of beers. When you confront someone you have been chatting with for ages over the net, for a while it’s like you have never said a word to each other and the intimacy starts after that first real meeting.
Does the net make dating and socialising easier? Why or why not?
I would say that the net is an effective source to enable socialising but as I have already mentioned, for dating I have my doubts. I generally use the net to plan future happenings instead of calling my friends, just to chit-chat or converse about life in general.
I must admit it does serve as a rather “helpful” means to hide behind the screen in embarrassing situations or to prevent breaking a head other than your own in a heated discussion or argument. Even then, it becomes so hard to express yourself just with words, especially when you feel that non-verbal communication accentuates what you want to say. The net is efficient and cost-effective, especially when plans include several people, but when it comes to choosing my dates I would rather see for myself, if you know what I mean!
Do you agree with finding a date or boyfriend through the Internet? If so, how exactly would this happen?
From what I have heard, the procedure for Internet dating would involve finding someone potentially interesting and chatting, possibly exchanging photos or using the web cam, planning a date and hope the gorgeous lad with piercing green eyes doesn’t turn out to be quite the opposite. As for me, I would have quite a problem since the first thing I look at are his shoes!
Joking apart, what attracts me is the whole approach that involves body language as well as his ability to hold a decent conversation about anything other than cars and women! Another important factor would be his sense of humour. Although this can be detected slightly through his words or smiley faces, the excitement of it all is lost.
Do you think the net strips some of the fun of getting to know someone in real life or does it add to it? What do you think are the pros and cons?
Still being a young person, I must admit I do occasionally get the urge to have a laugh with someone who is up for it and bluff my way through my looks and personality and I am pretty sure I am not the only one. In such cases if the receiver takes it too seriously I politely take my leave.
I also enjoy conversing, discussing or even arguing with people since it is a great opportunity to select what I want to say in my own time and avoid the risk of cringing at some pathetic thing I said. But at the end of it all, nothing beats a real life encounter and I firmly believe that any relationship only gets stronger or weaker after that.
What do you think of these internet dating sites?
Fun for a laugh and a make-believe encounter with some hot dude... but for nothing serious at all...
How essential is chatting on the net to your daily life?
I would not call my frequent use of chatting on the net essential. To be honest I only really started using this medium in the past year and have managed very well without it in the years before. If I do not have time or no one seems to be in the mood to chat it has no direct effect on my mood or way of life.
Being the energetic person that I am, I tend to get quite nervous sitting for hours looking at a screen communicating back to me. Given the choice, I would jump at the occasion of going out rather than locking myself in the study to chat. It is good fun but far from being one of my priorities!