Dance teacher and choreographer Janet Vella left to settle in the UK over a year ago. She spoke to Angele Spiteri Paris about the trials and tribulations of forging a career path overseas and getting over an injury that threatened to destroy her career and her passion.
What pushed you to move to the UK?
I’ve come, gone, packed, unpacked…well, I’ve lost count. Moving has always been a dream of mine and you can say that I have exploited it to its fullest. I first came to the UK at the age of 15 after winning a six-month scholarship at The London Studio Centre. This opportunity showed me a new way of life and unfortunately, although I missed Malta, it started to feel like foreign ground and I never settled down again. After that it was touch and go, trying to find my niche. Although dancing was the prime instigator for my many moves to the UK, I have to admit that my personal life also played a major part in my back and forth decision-making, which in turn jeopardised my career.
Having an English partner, who clearly did not connect with the Maltese islands, made the last move an easy decision, albeit a heartbreaking one. It was my second year into directing my school Moving Bodies and I made the wrong decision to keep the school going in my absence. It did not work. I understand that this was because I tried to deal with more than I could handle and my inability to let go of my young school did not simplify matters. This I feel was the biggest professional dilemma I have had to face.
What steps have you taken to forge your career path overseas?
Without sounding too pretentious, I can say that being established in Malta is a very straightforward and somewhat lazy path towards career development as you get used to jobs landing in your lap on a daily basis without much effort.
Establishing oneself in a foreign country means stepping out of the comfort niche into the cruel and brutal world of competition. Unless you learn how to blatantly blow your own trumpet, you have to be content with your non-existent professional status!
Therefore, major networking has been my main objective so far and I must say it has started to pay off. After all, one good contact is all you need and you’ve hit the jackpot.
Did you find many obstacles in making your way?
Of course I have and I am happy to confirm they have made my journey more challenging. I have learnt that easy options definitely do not encourage self-development and growth.
Culture shock is the main obstacle and dealing with the English culture has not been an easy issue either but this is all part of grounding your roots in foreign ground.
What was the most difficult thing you had to deal with, professionally?
I would stick with the aforementioned dilemma but another demon I had to face was the injury that threatened to end my career.
Has your career overseas fulfilled you expectations?
Throughout my professional journey as a performer and choreographer, I learnt to accept my weaknesses and I have definitely embraced my strength as an artist. I attended loads of auditions and have come out of them feeling bruised and battered but not anymore. You learn how to accept that the ability to perform is not always enough.
I have witnessed pretty blondes with cheesy smiles who have no idea what technique means get parts they certainly didn’t deserve and it took me a while to stop beating myself up about it. I have landed parts, which I refused based on rotten gut feelings and I never looked back on my decisions. I was also refused certain parts because I was over-qualified. Getting told this is a much harder blow than being told you do not qualify for the part. I have come to the grim realisation that the higher the expectation, the bigger the blow so having a positive yet nonchalant attitude towards auditions tends to achieve more positive results.
I surely expected to find greener grass in the dance field especially because the UK is known to have “a proper system”. Well, all I can say is that opportunities are far greater here and I have definitely taken gigantic steps towards improving my career but the grass is surely the same shade of green!
How do you feel your and your work were received in the UK?
I instantly felt my work as an artist fitted in perfectly although I can’t say I been given the warmest of welcomes from my English rivals.
Being a very passionate and outspoken person, I have encountered a few problems with the passive attitude that seems to fill the air. It is obvious that when we (the Maltese) communicate, we gesticulate, raise our voice and come across as aggressive So on a personal level, I might have to learn to lower my voice when I talk, become a little subdued, cease the operatic gesticulation and perhaps even adopt a diplomatic yet sarcastic approach to fit in as a person! I refuse, however to let go of my crazy and passionate character to be accepted.
In Malta you had a reputation of working your students to the bone? Would you say this is true and if so, did you keep this as part of your teaching persona?
My dance training with Tanya Bayona has to be placed on a very high altar. I am yet to meet an artist as meticulous and thorough as Miss Bayona. She has definitely shoved me in the right direction towards adopting her same approach in my teaching. I am not afraid to say that I am a technique freak and my main objective is to pass this on to my students.
About your injury, how did it come about?
Four years ago, I experienced more injuries in one single day than I did during my entire career. I gave birth and it all went horribly wrong, unfortunately. What should have been an ecstatic time, knowing my life would change drastically, for the better of course, turned to a sour start.
Despite my fear of needles, I opted for a spinal anaesthetic hoping it would help with the process. The epidural took effect, helping me to full dilation within an hour but although it relieved me from the painful contractions, I was robbed from my urge to push. After hours of useless pushing, the doctor agreed that I needed intervention, which I thought was the most intelligent decision ever taken so far and after a million and one attempts, the baby was finally delivered by ventouse. It was at this very moment that I felt two painless cracks, one in my tailbone and the second in my right hip.
My placenta delivery seemed obstructed and within minutes of the birth, I was rushed into the operating theatre to have it manually removed.
The cracks felt during the delivery were pain free then, but slowly and most surely, I was being introduced to the debilitating pain as the anaesthesia wore off.
The whole natural thing completely defeated the object; more days in hospital to recover from the ordeal. On a more positive note, our baby was healthy and that is what mattered most.
My steps were faltering and sometimes a shot of pain ran through me throwing me to the floor. I could not help thinking I would never be the same again and I strove to push my fears aside.
After five weeks of pain, frustration and helplessness, my steps started to improve and they were finally unassisted, which showed a light at the end of the tunnel. The coccyx seemed to improve overnight but my right hip joint became stiffer by the day, which obviously limited my normal range of motion.
What were your feelings when faced with the possibility that the injury may have spelt the end for the only career you ever knew?
A year ago, I was told to change career and with some reluctance I found myself succumbing to this idea. Resting from training proved ineffective, therefore the thought of life without dancing was becoming more palpable. Pain, although a negative element, proved to be helping me deal with this ordeal on a physical and psychological level as it showed me that my body was screaming for some rest.
Once the pain subsided, negativity settled in. I then felt that my spirit and energy had been crushed. I beat myself up for not being prepared and regretted not taking on other hobbies as seriously as I had done with dance. There was nothing to fall back on and this started to dull my future. Nothing will ever compare to the adrenaline rush experienced before a performance. Ironically, the fact that I could not walk or stand did not carry as much substance as my inability to dance! Talking about running before you can even walk! Taking away what has been my raison d’etre since childhood was the worst demon I have ever faced. It has dented me physically and emotionally causing a lot of anger, frustration and a great feeling of loss. Dance has been my only consistent support. I have always expressed myself better through my work so the inability to clear the room impulsively and dance with abandon was beyond me.
What was your main concern…money or your personal fulfilment?
My sanity! Focusing on dance makes life very uncomplicated so I suddenly found myself having to search for another solution to all my problems.
Ironically, the “want” to dance outweighed the need to regain my ability to walk without support.
Although my bank balance has taken a beating, I have to be grateful for the financial and emotional support of my partner, Chris.
On a more positive note this has definitely taught me how to sit and wait which has never been one of my strong qualities. I can now agree with the saying that good things come to those who wait!
What was the recovery like?
Due to inactivity, I lost strength in the core muscles, which I am slowly rebuilding. My hip joints still refuse to “turn out” which is a basic position in dance training so I have to work in “parallel” or “squared” lines. I have to limit myself temporarily until I regain the strength in my lower back, core, pelvic floor muscles, which I know will not take too long. I have no guarantee that I will be able to execute a “turned out plie” without my hips protesting so I cannot judge the future but I will surely work around it.
I have a few moments of great regret but I do not like to stay there. Not following my instinct when it came to deciding to deliver naturally over electively certainly stands at the top of the list and again when I was made to doubt myself and my work as a teacher when my training was repeatedly accused of being the catalyst of my injury.
Have you recovered or do you still have a long way to go?
As a dancer, I can say that I am 85 per cent recovered due to the fact that my “turn out” is still limited but I have learnt to work around it. This situation inspired me to create a new training programme called The Strong Stretch. I used the basic principles of dance with touches of yoga and pilates thrown in. It centres around the strengthening of the core muscles that support a dancer all the way through.
Now that you’re on the way to being back to full force, do you feel you want to take the world by storm?
Six months of suppression have brought along copious amounts of creative energy. I want to express the anger and frustration I felt throughout the healing process and redirect all these feelings into choreographic work.
This has prompted a new idea, which will shortly be taken to the stage!
I am working on my next performance with Krista Degaetano who was one of my students in Malta and in Cambridge. The two solo performances we are working on will bring together dance, art, voice and poetry. Two journeys collide and evolve into one effortless and enlightened concept using one performer’s pain to enhance and highlight the other performer’s journey. Two artists deliver their story through motion, vision and sound.
I cannot give any more details as yet, since the piece is still being produced. All I can tell you is that lovers of dance and art should watch this space for updates.
What is next on your agenda? Do you intend coming back to Malta or is making a name for yourself in the UK more of a priority?
Now that I have recovered from my injury and I can definitely dance and teach, again I am not wasting any time in re establishing my position as a teacher and choreographer.
The performance I mentioned will be promoted around the UK and in Malta as well. I will also be paying the island a visit in mid July to give a summer workshop at Alegria Academia. I also have a few projects in the pipeline but I do not want to mention anything yet as nothing is definite.