I personally think that religious beliefs are a matter for the individual.

And, ever since I was capable of exercising my grey matter it is something that is not for me. Don't get me wrong... I'm not anti-religion, it's just not something that I don't find overwhelmingly relevant to me. Sure I had a pretty orthodox upbringing, although neither of my parents, or indeed my grandparents, were particularly holy. But I did have one aunt whose idea of a good time was to spend it on her knees at the local knisja.

Now Auntie Grace may have been what is known as "a good woman", but she was also the most joyless creature on the planet. If anyone laughed or told a risqué joke in her company, her immediate response was to cross herself while slowly shaking her head and looking down at her shoes with an appalled expression on her face. Of course as kids, my brothers, my cousins and myself would latch onto this and, far from encouraging us to follow her example, it merely gave us an excuse for a prolonged snigger. Poor Auntie Grace, she was the definition of the archetypical maiden aunt. She lived into her 90s and in all my life I don't think I ever saw her smile, not even once.

As my mother (her sister-in-law) often said: "She should really have been a nun. That way she could have been permanently miserable in the company of like-minded people."

My lack of religious belief has never... yet... caused me any problems. And these days I am certainly not alone. Some time back a group of family and friends decided to visit a middle-priced restaurant for an evening meal. At one point before the food started arriving, I happened to be in the Gents bathroom. As I washed my hands I could hear outside the door a female voice, that turned out to be the sister of a friend of ours. She was accosting her brother-in-law Mike who, I assumed, was waiting for me to vacate the Gents.

Mike was a former English army officer, long retired and living in darkest Sliema and married to the sister of the lady who had just approached him. She started the conversation with: "Oh Michael, before the meal will you say grace?" There was a two beat pause, before Mike replied: "Eh? No I won't. I'm not a Catholic, I'm an agnostic... so no I won't, ask somebody else." Undaunted, his sister-in-law came back with "Oh Michael; you've lived with us here in Malta for over 40 years and you say you're not a Catholic?" Again Mike paused momentarily before killing the discussion with: "So by your reasoning, if I had lived on Lesbos for 40 years that would make me a lesbian?" I almost wet myself laughing inside the Gents. Incidentally... nobody said grace and we all enjoyed a very pleasant meal.

As I wrote earlier, I regard religion as something that is essentially private, which is why I find all proselytising religions distasteful. My father used to call them "doorsteppers". Mormons, Moonies and the dreaded Jehovah's Witnesses, the latter were particularly prevalent a few years ago. Mind you I hit upon a very effective method of deterring them from ringing our doorbell. My wife, she could successfully counter every argument they put forward. She is very well versed in all things religion and has sent countless JWs running for cover, over the years. And she's available for hire... for a small fee...