We live in an age of unprecedented stress. Since time immemorial and the appearance of primitive man, stress has been present, triggered by various factors such as the loss of loved ones, natural disasters, tribal conflicts and attacks from wild animals.

The primitive man faced killer creatures and hostile tribes. Today we face a new type of killer stressors such as the excruciating fast pace of life, long waits in endless tailbacks of traffic, noise pollution created by the continuous operation of hymacs, tractors and cranes as they demolish in residential areas, coupled with the constant bombardment of bad news on the social media.

We live in a time where coping with the fast rate of change in new technologies such as AI (Artificial Intelligence) can be exasperating. Many are suffering from technostress in not being able to use technology, especially the older generation. Additionally, those whose lives revolve around technology often struggle with dependency issues.

Stress has been defined as the bodily response to internal or external stressors. Stress involves changes affecting nearly every system of the body, influencing how people feel and behave.

Stress may be also defined as one's body alarm as it activates when it perceives a challenge or a threat. This alarm is designed to protect the person, but sometimes it can get triggered even when there's no danger. Some persons are easily frightened or extremely sensitive even if someone looks at them intently. The stress response can be either to fight or flight. When faced with stress, the body, by default, gears up to either fight the challenge head-on or flee from it. Stress prepares the body for action by releasing hormones such as adrenaline.

The ABC Model of Stress

Stress is caused by an Activating event which is called the stressor. Then, depending on our Beliefs, thoughts and perception of the situation, Consequences emerge; emotional, physical and behavioural.

It is noted that stress comes at a process where the person feels a stressor, appraises it, there is a bodily response, then a behavioural response follows. The person will then try to cope with the event and finally will make an appraisal of the whole situation.

Stressors fall under different headings, and these are the potential producers of stress. These can be physical, psychological and social as follows:

Physical

• Illness
• Chronic pain
• Fatigue and sleep disturbance
• Nutritional issues
• Physical demands

In the short-term, stress increases heart rate, causes seating and respiration issues and headaches. In the long-term stress is the cause of ulcers, high blood pressure and heart attacks.

Psychological

• Work-related or academic pressure
• Financial concerns
• Life transitions
• Grief
• Trauma
• Self-esteem issues

The above can lead to cognitive issues such as to fight or withdraw and a sense of resignation and regression. Further signs are negativism, forgetfulness, inattentiveness, procrastination and a tendency to misjudge people. The person also experiences a sense of uncertainty about whom to trust and struggles with self-organisation, due to inner confusion about their duties or roles.

Stress also causes a myriad of emotional consequences such as apathy, boredom, dissatisfaction, high intolerance for ambiguity, a tendency to become distraught over minor issues, irritability, gut-level feelings and unexplainable dissatisfaction.

These issues also manifest in behaviours such as a loss of appetite, sudden loss or gain of weight, sudden change of appearance, sudden change of complexion (sallow, reddened and acne), difficult breathing, sudden change of smoking habits and alcohol use.

Social

• Isolation
• Relational conflict
• Discrimination
• Social expectations
• Dynamics
• Social comparison

The daily hassles of hurrying to work, facing traffic congestions are irritating, frustrating, distressing demands that to some degree characterise our everyday transactions with the environment. Life events, on the other hand, are significantly more challenging as they can disrupt a person's life and normal routines.

Even a positive event such as marriage, a new job and moving house can lead to disruption and researchers argue that life changes are a major source of stress. We are creatures of habit, and several researchers argue that life changes are a major source of stress.

In life, we face hindrances which can slow down one's effectiveness, performance and reaching our goals. Then there are challenges or stressors that drive us to learn, grow and achieve.

Eustress and distress

Eustress is what is termed as healthy stress. We all need an amount of stress to motivate us. This is typically short-term in nature and serves to energise and motivate. It is perceived as something within our coping ability. It also feels exciting and increases focus and performance.

Distress, on the other hand, can persist in both the short and long term. It triggers anxiety and concern and surpasses our coping abilities generating unpleasant feelings and decreases focus and performance. This contributes to mental and physical problems discussed above.

Managing stress

There are several potential stressors that can activate a stressful event such as constant lateness, conflict with some people, a cluttered room, high credit-card bills and dissatisfaction with one's job. These situations call for adjustments such as improving time management, limiting interactions with those who cause conflict, becoming more organized, reducing expenses, and exploring alternative job opportunities.

Automatic thoughts

We all pass through automatic thoughts which are quick and unconscious thoughts that come to mind without intentional control. These thoughts affect a person's mood and actions. The person needs to become aware of the presence and impact of negative automatic thoughts and then test their validity. This task is central to Cognitive and Behavioural Therapy.

Identifying automatic thoughts

When my mood worsens or I find myself engaging in unhelpful behaviour, I need to pause and ask, "what was going through my mind?" It is important to write down the thoughts and ask, "What was I thinking that allowed me to do this?" And write down the thoughts.

Managing stress: ABC model

It is important to dispute your beliefs into effective new beliefs.

Disputing beliefs means that beliefs must be challenges. This means looking critically at the belief you wrote down and see whether it is accurate and helpful. If it is not accurate, not helpful, or neither accurate nor helpful, then this is the opportunity to craft a new belief.

A new or effective belief means adopting and implementing a new adaptive belief. This is where you have a chance to create a new, more helpful belief and think about how you are going to incorporate it. Writing a commitment to adopt one of your new beliefs the next time a specific triggering event occurs might be helpful. If you happen to be a Christian, then from a spiritual perspective you might also include some prayer, personalising typical Bible verses of encouragement such as this one suggested by the Apostle Paul in Romans 11:2, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Disputing beliefs into effective beliefs follows a process:

• Evidence: Show yourself that the belief is factually incorrect;
• Alternatives: Most events have many causes;
• Implications: Even if my belief is correct ask, "What are the implications?" and
• Usefulness: Question the usefulness of your belief.

Resilience and coping with stress

Coping with stress depends very much on how great the stress is and the person's ability in using long-term coping strategies.

There are certain characteristics that distinguish resilient individuals:

• The ability to be happy and contented (being pleased with oneself and with simple things)
• A sense of direction and purpose
• The capacity for productive work
• A sense of competence
• Environmental mastery
• Emotional security
• Self-knowledge and self-acceptance
• A realistic and undistorted perception of oneself, others, and relating to others and for intimacy and respect
• Confident optimism
• Autonomous and productive activity
• Interpersonal insight and warmth
• Skilled expressiveness

Not everyone copes in the same manner with stress, but some points seem to be universally helpful. For example, how often do you listen to music and go out for a walk? Many people today need to have sufficient rest, go out and relate with nature, especially in open spaces, if possible, where trees are present, as trees emit positive energy. Also, it is important to have someone to speak to and who is a good listener able to give helpful feedback. An accountability partner also helps in encouraging the person to reach targets in coping with stress.

The above should not be one-offs but a disciplined pattern where the person is proactively working on the stressors to control them.

Nature and stress

The oldest religions, such as Buddhism and Hinduism, as well as early tribal beliefs emphasised the notion of the importance of humans being in harmony with nature. Simply stated, they argued that humans are born on planet earth as earthly guests and then return to the earth.

With time the idea of being one with nature changed to humanity being above nature. The idea came to the fore that placed emphasis on personhood and consciousness and the belief that there is a plan and purpose given by God for every person. This concept derived from religion and philosophy.

Subsequently, humanity in general moved towards the notion that it is not God who gives purpose or plans but we; humans give ourselves a purpose. This led to a society based on individualism and a decentralisation of religious power where moral standards were not "dictated" by a religious class of people. Each person became so to say, a small god with his/ her own ways of coping with stress. The focus ran counter to nature itself, with instant gratification now embedded in the mindsets of persons. The idea that humans can have everything at the push of a button, where the sky's the limit has created more stress and less resilience in the individual.

While stress coping strategies once aligned naturally with a sense of unity with nature and God - resonating with the rhythm of the cosmos - this is, unfortunately, no longer the case. Humanity has created a vacuum and must re-learn or re-invent itself how to be again in harmony with nature and God.

A change in perspective

This requires humans to work in tandem with each other and resilient persons can ask for help and not rely on their individual selves. More leadership, problem-solving and decision-making skills are needed where the individual is motivated to seek help and not drag people down but is encouraged and encourages others.

Part of the resilience is to acknowledge that we humans inevitably fall. But resilience is not about falling but the ability to bounce back after an adverse situation. It also means that the person soars even higher as he/she learns from the experience.

If say, a person had a traffic accident, then the attention or focus should not be on the negative aspects of the accident but on the kindness of the public and the police who lent a helping hand. The thoughts should also be ones of thankfulness in the fact that God saved the person from a tragedy. Also, the focus should be on recovery not self-pity.

Model of resilience

Challenge The individual experiencing a stressor or adversity. From minor setback to a traumatic event.

Struggle The individual grappling and trying to make sense of it. Feelings: confusion, fear, anger and frustration.

Insight The individual obtains a new perspective on the situation: Can include gaining new understanding, changing one's attitude or develop new coping strategies.

Action The individual takes action to move beyond the challenge. This can involve making changes in one's life, seeking help or support.

Resiliency characteristics

• A balanced perspective of one's life experience
• Perseverance
• Self-reliance. Belief in oneself and capabilities
• Lie has a purpose and value in one's contribution
• The realisation that each person's path is unique

Investing in well-being and resilience

Some important factors that make people happy and are a wise investment in the currency of resilience are as follows:

• A living relationship
• Enjoyable job
• Sufficient money
• Reaching a career goal
• Satisfying hobbies
• Community contributions
• Good physical health
• Avoiding trouble
• Having energy
• Implementing ideas
• Sleeping well
• Having Children
• Living in harmony with God and your neighbour - as far as it depends on you

The outcomes of resiliency can be very fruitful as the individual rises like the phoenix to a better place. This would lead to awareness of how the issue was tackled. Hence, a learning experience results in building knowledge, appreciating others in the event and a new meaning towards life. This new perspective or way of looking at people and situations will make the person stronger to face other falls (in Maltese, trabbi l-qoxra).