From the moment we are born, our lives seem to follow a predictable script. We enter the world with no control over the circumstances into which we are born. Our parents' guide us into childhood, society shepherds us through education, and we are gradually moulded into participants of a vast system that rewards conformity over creativity, routine over risk, and security over self-discovery. But at some point - often in the quiet spaces of early morning or the stillness before sleep - an uncomfortable question begins to form: Am I truly living, or just existing?

This is a question not often entertained aloud in our fast-paced, productivity-obsessed world. It challenges the foundations of what we've been taught to value: achievement, status, income, and stability. Yet, the question lingers, gnawing at the edges of our carefully constructed lives. Are our dreams and ambitions truly our own, or have they been shaped by expectations, fear, and the pressure to "make something" of ourselves?

The script we follow

Life often unfolds in expected stages. School, followed by more schooling. Good grades. University. A job. A career. A partner. A house. Children. Retirement. And if all goes well, a quiet old age. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these stages - in fact, many are beautiful and deeply meaningful. But the problem arises when we follow this path uncritically, mistaking motion for purpose and milestones for meaning.

Children are naturally dreamers. Ask a five-year-old what they want to be, and you'll hear an orchestra of astronauts, artists, firefighters, explorers, and inventors. But somewhere along the way, those dreams shrink. Risk is replaced by responsibility. Imagination is replaced by realism. Many of us trade our passions for practicalities not because we want to, but because we're told it's the only way to "succeed."

But what is success?

Redefining Success

For decades, success has been defined by material accumulation and social standing. A high salary, a prestigious job title, a nice car, a large house. Yet study after study tells us that once our basic needs are met, more money or status does not lead to greater happiness. In fact, one of the longest-running studies on human happiness - Harvard's 85-year-long Study of Adult Development - concluded that the quality of our relationships is the single most important predictor of happiness and health.

This revelation is both liberating and confronting. It means that we don't necessarily have to climb the highest corporate ladder or become household names to be happy. But it also means that many of us may need to radically rethink how we're spending our time and energy. Are we investing in deep, fulfilling relationships? Are we pursuing work that feels meaningful? Are we nurturing our creativity, spirituality, and mental health?

If not, then what are we doing all this for?

The cost of a life on autopilot

The cost of living life on autopilot is often hidden but significant. Burnout, anxiety, disconnection, and a lingering sense of emptiness plague many who are otherwise "successful." We may smile in photographs, laugh at parties, and post curated updates of our lives online - but inside, we may feel a gnawing void. This isn't selfish or unusual. It's human.

Modern society doesn't make it easy to pause and reflect. The pace is relentless, the expectations high. We glorify busyness as a badge of honour, while neglecting the simple pleasures that bring joy: a quiet morning walk, creating something with our hands, losing ourselves in a book, having a deep conversation without distractions.

We wait for retirement to enjoy life. We postpone dreams until the mortgage is paid. We defer joy until the "right time" - a time that may never come.

The Role of Dreams and Ambitions

Dreams and ambitions are not frivolous. They are the compass points of a life well-lived. But to be meaningful, they must be authentic. Not inherited. Not imposed. Not a reaction to what others expect, but a response to what truly stirs our soul.

So how do we discover - or rediscover - what we truly want?

Start by asking yourself questions you might have avoided:

• What did I love doing as a child, before I cared what others thought?
• If money and reputation were no object, how would I spend my days?
• What kind of work makes me feel alive, challenged, and fulfilled?
• Who are the people who make me feel most like myself?
• What does success mean to me - not to society, not to my family, but to me?

These questions aren't always easy to answer. They may require introspection, therapy, or even a major life change. But they are essential if we want to live intentionally rather than by default.

Living a life of intention

To live intentionally means to align your daily actions with your deepest values. It means making choices not because they're easy or expected, but because they resonate with who you are and who you want to become.

Sometimes that might mean changing careers. Sometimes it's about setting boundaries, simplifying your lifestyle, or choosing to live more slowly. It might even mean disappointing others, which can be painful but necessary. As the writer Anaïs Nin once said, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

There is courage in choosing a path that feels right rather than one that looks right.

What truly matters?

In the end, life is short - frighteningly so. None of us knows how many years we have left, but we know that they are limited. What we choose to do with them is everything.

Ask someone on their deathbed what mattered most in life, and they rarely talk about promotions or possessions. They speak of love, connection, regrets over not spending more time with family, not pursuing dreams, not saying what needed to be said.

So perhaps the greatest ambition we can have is not to accumulate more, but to experience more. To love fully. To live deeply. To be present.

Practical Steps Toward a More Meaningful Life

This is not just philosophical musing - it can be translated into daily practice:

1.              Audit your time: Track how you spend your days. Are your actions aligned with what you value most?

2.              Prioritize relationships: Make time for the people who matter. Disconnect from devices and connect in person.

3.              Practice gratitude: Daily reflection on what you're thankful for helps shift your focus from what's lacking to what's abundant.

4.              Pursue passion projects: Whether it's painting, writing, gardening, or volunteering - do things that bring you joy without needing them to be profitable or productive.

5.              Set intentional goals: Let your ambitions be guided by meaning, not metrics. Goals should serve your well-being, not your ego.

6.              Embrace imperfection: Life isn't a highlight reel. Accepting messiness and failure is part of living fully.

7.              Be brave: It takes courage to live a life true to yourself. But it's the only life worth living.

Don't just exist - live

The modern world offers incredible opportunities, but it also presents immense distractions and pressures. It's easy to lose ourselves in the race to keep up, to succeed, to survive. But amidst all this, we must not forget to truly live.

Not tomorrow. Not when the kids are grown, or the debts are cleared, or the stars finally align.

Now.

Now is the only moment we are guaranteed. The only time to chase dreams, to make changes, to choose joy. A meaningful life is not something we find by accident. It's something we create, one intentional choice at a time.

So pause. Reflect. Ask yourself the hard questions. And dare to answer them with honesty.

Because this life - short as it is - is far too precious to spend merely existing.

Renald Blundell is a biochemist and biotechnologist with a special interest in Natural and Alternative Medicine. He is a professor at the Faculty of Medicine and Surgery, University of Malta.

Photo: AI-generated image created by Prof. Blundell