I'm not a religious person but, believe-you-me when I tell you that I actually said a little prayer before meeting the Sliema Girls and the Bormla Babes together in Gżira.
See, all four of them have become famous for their cameos in the festive season's hottest show: The Comedy Knights. They are very outspoken and can be quite verbally dynamic - although, in reality, they are completely harmless. But, well, that doesn't change the fact that, during an interview, I have to go through the same painful conversations I had with Bex over the phone as we tried to set up the interview.
"Where shall we meet?" I asked.
"Bil-fooos Gżira," she replied.
"Why?"
"It's neutral ground, hux... It's neither Sliema and neither the South, aye... Perfect for Shazianne and Rihanna, għax they're from... You know..."
"Bormla?" I answered.
"Yes," she said before hanging up on me.
So, yes, I was worried that, as usually happens with the Sliema Girls, the whole interview would take a very - how shall I put it? - odd turn. And, with the Bormla Babes thrown into the mix, I was definitely going to need some form of saintly protection to survive it.
Shazianne: Aw, Slice!
Iggy: Hello! Thanks for agreeing to the interview!
Ċikka: Who is this, Bex?
Bex: Not sure... I think he works with Saviour or Peppi, or something.
Iggy: I'm freelance... Right... Let's start with something fun for the interview! How did you girls feel when you first met each other?
Shazianne: When we first met Bex and Ċikka they were like two pepe Sliemiżi. Always saying 'please' and 'thanks you'.
Rihanna: Last time someone said 'thanks you' to me, it was after I gave him an STI.
Ċikka: What's an STI?
Bex: An eye that has a bad personality.
Ċikka: U ejja!
Bex: Mela!
Ċikka: When we first met the Bormla Babes, we were very scared of them. We thought they were violent.
Rihanna: Bis-serjeta?
Shazianne: Mhux ovja!
Rihanna: But we don't like to boast.
Ċikka: But soon we discovered something that united us.
Iggy: And what's that?
All: How much we're all inspired by Carina Camille!
Iggy: Okay... What do you do when you're not on the Comedy Knights' stage?
Bex: Well, we like to go on adventures with our new friends.
Ċikka: They took us shopping... in... Ħamrun.
Bex: How scary, aye? Someone actually called out 'Aw, Lilly' to us.
Ċikka: But that is illegal now!
Rhianna: Tell me about it. Ever since they changed the law, I cannot tell anyone in the house that my Aunt Lilian has come to visit.
Iggy: Sounds tragic... Erm, and the rest of the show? What can you tell us about that?
Shazianne: Bejnietna, I don't always get all the jokes.
Bex: Even I.
Rihanna: But they put a lot of effort, hux? So we try to encourage them.
Ċikka: Ideally it would just be us, aye... All night.
Shazianne: Ahhh, I like going all night.
Rhianna: You're very funny. You should be a comedienne.
Bex: I don't get it.
Iggy: How would you sell Let's Talk About Six to your family and friends?
Rhianna: With money, hux? Dan kemm hu tuba?
Iggy (on the verge of tears): On to more serious matters now... Do you think we need trees or are they better chopped down and used to make money?
Bex: I like trees. They are my favourite number.
Ċikka: We need to look after our environment. Otherwise we won't have anywhere to build luxury apartments.
Shazianne: I have a lemon tree at home. And I love it.
Ċikka: Ahh, can you give me some lemons?
Rhianna: After the MEP elections, kemm trid!
Bex: I don't get it.
Iggy: Right, final question... Politics... Who is your favourite person from each party and why?
Ċikka: I want to think of a young cool Nationalist, but I don't think there are any of them left.
Bex: Well, my favourite is the American First Lady.
Ċikka: U ejja!
Bex: Melania!
The Comedy Knights' Let's Talk About Six will take place between 26 December and 13 January (bar 31 December and 1 January) at Teatru Salesjan in Sliema... Obviously! For more information or tickets, visit www.comedyknights.com. The Comedy Knights' Let's Talk About Six is produced by Wesley Ellul, Chris Dingli and Marc Cabourdin; powered by XFM; and sponsored by Revolut, Strongbow, Carlsberg, Marks & Spencer, Jesmond Mizzi Financial Advisors, Indulge Me Gift, findit and the Malta Digital Exchange