As we totter towards the presumed end of lockdown my thoughts turn towards what happens when, if this sorry state of affairs ever comes to an end, will life return to what it was before universal house arrest? I somehow doubt it very much. I'm not by nature a pessimist, but I find it very hard to see the funny or optimistic side of what is currently befalling us... and a few million others around the globe.
Having said that I concur with the praise being handed out to Minister Fearne for the unfussy way he is going about the, not uncomplex, business of keeping us alive, prosit and well done... so far. But our brand spanking new PM hasn't exactly covered himself in glory throughout the pandemic. Surely he's not jealous of his health minister's popularity, the very idea!
Aren't the citizens of the USA so lucky to have such a brilliant understated visionary like Donald Trump for a "leader". He has no doubts about the way to deal with Covid 19... ignore it. Pretend it's not happening and let's get back to business, the business of getting re-elected (Heaven forbid). So what if a few thousand Americans do succumb to its insidious presence, that's just collateral damage. Give everyone in the US of A a cup-full of Dettol or bleach, then open up the country to encourage commerce without delay, that'll fix it... moron! Oh yes and then claim credit for doing a "great job" and saving hundreds of thousands of American lives. The man is completely without shame.
But back to Malta matters; what do they mean by a phased reopening? Does it mean opening Comino today, half of Gozo tomorrow, the other half the day after etcetera... and so on, until the only place left on lockdown will be Filfla? And will it mean that Our wives, girlfriends and/or mistresses can go and get her hair done and their roots touched up at the actual hairdressers? Instead of Tessie of "Tessies Tresses" having to make clandestine visits to sundry households in the dead of night, armed only with a comb, a hair dryer and a jumbo-size tube of dark brown hair dye?
And when we do get back to our new normal will that herald a radical upping in the quality of TV programmes... across the board? To be honest, at home we watch very little local TV, so I can't comment on that. But we are getting awfully sick of endless repeats on BBC Entertainment of Fawlty Towers and Only Fools and Horses. During the Second World War people used to dodge bullets, bombs and torpedoes to ensure the free world triumphed over evil; but they still had Charlie Clews and the radio commandos. On local TV what have we got? Joe Chetcuti and Arrani Issa, for heaven's sake."
One thing I am certain of, once they do start to open up the island again and we all emerge blinking into the light... all the credit for our "liberation" will be claimed by the government. Never mind the over-worked doctors and nurses, never mind the responsible citizens of Malta and Gozo... just give thanks to our wondrous far-seeing politicians and to hell with all the rest.