My wife thinks I am being rather mean.

However, it is hard to resist the temptation to wind my neighbour George up, when he is so susceptible to the practice. Take last Tuesday, there we were on our respective roofs, sipping pre-dinner beers and chewing the fat. George is a lovely guy but one who, shall we say, enjoys ill health. He really does make a meal of the slightest ailment - and any perceived dangerous epidemic... like Covid. Although he did eventually get the disease, but happily mildly.

So these days he's got a new "pandemic" to worry about, monkeypox. George claims to have read up extensively on the virus, and, of course, is convinced that it is just flexing its muscles before striking him dead on the spot. Unreal I know, so I couldn't resist taking the piss, just a little bit. Actually all I did was ask him if he had heard that the disease was even more contagious than Covid (it isn't!). His reaction was instantaneous: he was actually taking a sip of beer at the time so the effect was multiplied many times over.

The poor guy spluttered and spilt at least half a glass of Hopleaf all over his roof and his shirt, before comporting himself a little and asking: "Where did you hear that?" I tried a nonchalant shrug and replied: "It's common knowledge, I'm surprised you didn't know."

Apparently this particular pathogen is far from new. I understand it was first isolated in a batch of lab monkeys - hence the name - as long ago as 1958. There is also a considerable divergence of opinion over its name. While it does seem to affect primates in general, it can also cause disease in rodents such as squirrels and rats.

In humans it can be transmitted sexually and by close contact; it is apparently quite prevalent in gay men... and I really don't think George qualifies there.

Full-blown monkey pox usually lasts a few weeks before disappearing and usually the sufferer will make a complete recovery. However, it can be more of a problem for people suffering from underlying health issues and in severe cases may even be fatal. Obviously my neighbour is highly unlikely to contract this particular virus and I just hope this fact doesn't come as too much of a disappointment to him.

Last week I had a phone call from an old friend from my university days - and from whom I haven't heard for about 30 years or more. He told me that he and his newish wife were thinking of spending about a week in Malta. Neither had been here before and the prospect of visiting and seeing me again was the spur.

However, he came to the point very quickly. After clearing his throat he asked: "We'd love to see you of course but... how safe is it over there?" In reply I was, I hoped, reassuring: "Very actually, but what do you mean how safe?" He expanded: "Well we hear that your ex-prime minister has been fingered as the most corrupt politician on the planet, the media over here talks of Malta as a Mafia state, one of your more prominent journalists was assassinated... it gives rise to enquire just how safe would we be?" A good point or points, I had to agree that we did seem a long way from Torremolinos, as a tourist destination.

He ended the call by saying they would think about it... they are still thinking.