With Christmas and New Year literally on our doorsteps, it’s the right time to start psyching yourself up for everything this season brings. If you’re an extrovert, you’re likely to be quite excited at the prospect of upcoming parties and other social events. For all the introverts out there, however, this time of year can be a challenging one, particularly since the wish to conform to social expectations may result in you forcing yourself into situations which leave you feeling mentally and physically drained.

Introversion and extroversion sit on two opposite ends of a spectrum, and the way you draw your energy and the way you expend it, determines where you are on this spectrum. Extroverts derive their energy from spending time around people, such as networking and attending social events. Whilst they recharge their energy in the company of others, spending time alone may drain them. Introverts, on the other hand, recharge their energy by spending quiet time alone, and become drained when around people for a long time, in noisy places, or in large groups.

As an introvert myself, I’ll never forget how, as a child, I’d escape to the toilet at family gatherings and stay there for as long as possible. Quite an odd place to retreat to, admittedly, but for introverts, anywhere quiet can be a haven when surrounded by noise and large groups of people. Of course, I’m not suggesting you spend social activities in the toilet. However, I’d like to share with you some tips on how you can socialise during this period without it having too huge an impact on your well-being. Here goes:

Set limits: If you need to attend a large event with people you’re not so comfortable with, prior to attending, set a limit on how long you’ll stay. Knowing what time you’re leaving will ease your anxiety, whilst reducing time in emotionally draining situations will minimise the emotional toll it takes on you.

Say ‘No’ more: No-one likes disappointing or hurting people’s feelings by declining an invitation to meet. Rather than a downright ‘no’, however, suggest scheduling a meeting when it’s quieter, like in mid-January, for instance. If you have many invitations or plans, prioritise those events which would truly make you happy over those that are mere obligations.

Trust your feelings: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed, chances are that you’re over-stimulated or emotionally spent. Honour these signals by identifying what you need in this moment. Is it time you go home? Do you need to remove yourself from a particular group or people, or a person, and find someone you feel safer or more comfortable with? Do you need to go outside for a moment? Whatever it is, do it. You’ll thank yourself later.

Prioritise recharging: Since socialising can be draining, it’s important you balance your energy before and after events. This can be achieved by doing something which nourishes and calms you, such as spending time alone, doing something quiet, spending time in nature, listening to calming music, etc. Think of it as a self-care sandwich, with the social event sandwiched between quiet, soothing activities.

Avoid the temptation to self-medicate: It may be tempting to drink a little more to calm your nerves during social events. The problem with that is, amongst other obvious consequences, you’ll find it more difficult to regulate your emotions and make wise decisions around limiting your exposure to socially overwhelming stimuli.

Celebrate who you are: We live in a society where the qualities of extroverts tend to be rewarded and celebrated, such as being outgoing, friendly, talkative, and loud, leaving introverts often feeling overlooked or inferior. Don’t forget, however, the many positives of being an introvert – the ability to be empathic, introspective, reflective, observant and thoughtful, to name just a few.

Acceptance: Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t socialise and enjoy attending parties and events. The mistake people often make, however, is that in order to be liked or accepted, they push themselves to be louder, more outgoing and more sociable than they naturally are. This can cause you to feel exhausted and drained, having a negative impact on your health and well-being. Instead, try to accept who you are, knowing that everyone is different, and that’s okay.

However you choose to spend your time this Christmas and new year, don’t forget to take care of your health and well-being in the process.