If you often find yourself feeling drained, emotionally depleted or overwhelmed after spending time with people, there's a chance you may be absorbing the emotions of others. This may happen when you interact directly with someone but can also occur simply by being in the presence of strong emotions. If that sounds rather odd, think back to a situation at work, or a family gathering, when the atmosphere in the room immediately changed once a particular person entered the room. Before any words are even spoken, you've absorbed the energy of the other person.

Although we're all susceptible to absorbing the emotions of others, if you're a highly sensitive person (HSP) or an empath, the chance of this happening is even greater. The Highly Sensitive Person is a term coined by Dr Elaine Aron, and describes those who:

-                      Are deeply touched by art, music or literature

-                      Are prone to thinking and feeling very deeply

-                      Are overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights and strong smells

-                      Are frequently called "too sensitive" by friends and family

-                      Are overwhelmed by busy, chaotic environments

-                      Find multi-tasking difficult

Equally so, empaths are prone to taking on people's emotions. Empaths can be described as:

-                      Caring deeply about others

-                      Able to read and understand people's feelings more easily

-                      Good listeners

-                      Pick up on subtle cues in the environment which others may ignore

-                      More aware of sounds, sights, smells and physical sensations

Whether you're an empath, HSP or neither, we may all have moments when we take on the emotions of others. Thankfully, there are things we can do to protect ourselves from emotional overload. Here are a few:

• Create boundaries: When we care about people, we want to be there to support them with whatever they're going through. There's a difference, however, between being there for someone and giving so much of yourself that you feel drained and depleted. If you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed in the presence of certain people, it may be wise to understand what your limits are and prepare to set some boundaries. This may involve setting time limits (for example meeting for only one hour), not answering your phone close to bedtime, not meeting too frequently and so on.
• Visualisation: Visualisation can be a powerful tool in creating internal boundaries for yourself. When I'm around someone who's very angry or passive aggressive, I immediately imagine myself pushing this person's emotions back to them, while I remind myself, "this anger is not mine. This is not mine". I repeat these words silently to myself and imagine the pushing movement until I feel more grounded and safe. Other examples of visualisations would be to imagine yourself surrounded by a safe bubble, where you're protected from heavy emotions. Alternatively, you may imagine holding a large shield or erecting a large, thick wall between you and another person. A friend of mine once told me he imagines he's wearing a spacesuit when around people he feels very overwhelmed by. Quite a funny image but apparently it works for him.
• Check in with yourself: If you notice yourself feeling very sad, angry or distressed after spending time with someone, spend a few minutes alone, asking yourself, "is this mine of theirs?" Think back to the interactions you've had throughout the day and ask yourself if you may have internalised another person's emotions. Remember, there's a difference between feeling compassion and empathy for another person and taking on someone's pain or distress. If you think you've taken on someone's emotions, sit quietly and repeat to yourself, "this is not mine, this anger/sadness is not mine" and imagine yourself pushing the emotion away from you.
• Take care of yourself: While we should always practice self-care, moments where we're feeling drained and overwhelmed require us to up the self-care several notches. What nourishes you and replenishes your energy is very individual, so take some time to find what works for you. Ideas include spending time in silence, listening to calming music, having a warm bath or shower, spending time in nature, watching a feel-good film or journalling. Whatever you choose, the purpose is to cleanse yourself of any overwhelming emotions you've absorbed throughout the day.
• Ground yourself: Activities which can have a grounding effect include yoga, meditation, sitting by the sea or in nature or spending time with someone you feel safe with.
• Carry out a ritual which helps create separation: I find that having a hot shower after a hard day helps me create a separation from the outside world and my own space at home. Lighting a candle or some incense can also create a calming atmosphere and help you feel more grounded and connected to yourself. Explore what may be meaningful for you and use such rituals to separate yourself from strong emotions you've encountered throughout the day.
• Process your emotions: If you're unsure about how you're feeling and need support to understand what's happening, speak to someone you trust or to a mental health professional.

Psychotherapist Danjela Falzon works with clients on issues related to anxiety, depression, burnout, stress, relationships, sexuality, personality disorders, self-esteem and self-growth. She forms part of the team at paths Clinic. For more information visit www.paths.care